Sex Offender Feelings Don't Wash Off

I was on the train yesterday going to Maryland, when I was blindsided by the vagina of a little girl. WHAM-O! This kid’s crotch is right in my face. I’m talking less than 2 feet. She is wearing a blue jean skirt and climbing all over the place. She’s up on the seats, running down the isle, and swinging off anything she can grab a hold of. Well, she eventually gets to the pole in front of me, and decides, “It’d be a good idea to swing myself upside down on this pole (probably something she learned from Mama on bring your daughter to work day). Anyway, I’m sitting there minding my own business trying not to freak out every time this kid asks her mom a question. “Mama, why does the train have doors? Mama, why are we off the ground? Mama, why does my bed sometimes smell like cheap whiskey and biker ass?” It was so fucking irritating. And her fat, dead eyed, pissed off she didn’t spring for an abortion mama is just numb to it all. She’s like, “Fuck everyone on this train. This is the HELL I call my life, and I plan on making as many people suffer with me as I can!”

So, right when I’m about to snap and punt this kid back in mom’s chubby arms she takes off running like a crack head. She jumps and leaps onto the pole like a Russian gymnast. And that’s when I’m forced to stare at the most illegal vagina I’ve ever seen. Immediately after seeing it I felt so dirty. I was convinced that Chris Hansen from Datelines “To Catch a Predator” was going to pop out from underneath my seat. “What exactly do you think you’re staring at? Do you know how young this girl is? You’re a teacher aren’t you? You sick fuck.”

A vagina that young really takes you by surprise. I mean we’ve all seen a shaved, 19 year old vagina in a strip club and that’s a beautiful sight. But, you don’t need to see a shaved, 19 year old vagina that’s been shrunk in the dryer. NO! It’s wrong and it’s awful. I was just sitting there trying to enjoy my book and out of no where I’m staring down barrel of a 4 year olds baby maker.

And it’s not like seeing a little girl with her shirt off at the beach. We’ve all seen that and we never think anything of it, because a 4 year old doesn’t have mini-boobs that resemble a mature set of breasts. But sex organs are sex organs, and when you see one up close it changes you. Remember the first time you saw a Va-jay with the lights on…yeah, a little odd wasn’t it? Ok, well now take that feeling soak it in pedophilia and wrap it in shame and that’s how I felt riding on that train.

That’s how pedophiles get their start. One day a normal dude is riding the train on his way to work, and then WHAM-O!!! A tiny vagina swings into his field of vision and he can’t get the disturbing imagine of that kids va-jay out of his skull. So it haunts him day and knight until one day he wakes up and decides “I’m going to seriously fuck my life up, and hang out at playgrounds to see if I can get a another peek of super young crotch. I just sort of grossed myself out.

I thought the real point of concern was that the mom didn’t seem to care that her little girl was flashing her twat all over the Red line. Isn’t that the job of a parent; to cover up your kid’s private parts when they’re all willy nilly in showing god and everybody their junk? I think it is. If you’re a parent and you see that your little girl has taken to showing the entire train her pussy because she’s hanging upside down on a pole, you need to throw a blanket on that fire. I thought having to deal with the kids incessant talking and shrill voice was the worst thing that could happen, but that’s a walk in the park compared to staring at a kid’s special purpose.

So, in closing I’d like to say that I’m scared by this whole experience. I hope I never see another 4 year old vagina, and I truly mean that. I don’t want kids of my own. And I pray that the next time I see a bald vagina that it’s of legal age, and sitting on my face.