I leave town for 3 days and you'd think comedian Dave Hill was the new suspect in the Anthrax case...well, at least among local comics. I laid a steaming, hot, lead turd on the stages of UCB yesterday in New York City. I know I'm better than what I've displayed and still have more potential to explore...I'm wondering if Dave Hill and the other folks at the DC Comedy Fest-Industry show feel similar. I know I don't want to be judged by one performance. The more you know...
(Local Comic finishes reading this...contemplates it...then throws his arm across the computer desk, knocking over laptop, empty Yuengling bottles, ash stained coffee mugs, and bar napkins inked in forsaken genius...pounds fists on desk, knocking over remaining lamp and pens...tears start to well, looks in mirror above desk, stares at aging face...in reflection sees old copy of "The Comedy Bible" on bookshelf...has mellow dramatic moment with himself, swivels around and takes book down off of shelf, ominously opens to page with "A Contract for Yourself Not to Quit"...footsteps start to walk downstairs...comic startled, starts to zip up his pants but then realizes he wasn't masturbating...mother looks from bottom step with smile, sets down plate of cookies and glass milk...rubs comics head)
Mom: You'll always be my little Johnny Carson.
Comic starts to sob uncontrollably, grabs mother's apron and buries face into it.
Mother looks at son's picture of Margaret Cho on wall
Mom: Goddamn you. (If you have any thoughts, insights or photos from your experiences at the DC Comedy Fest or Del Close Marathon, send'em our way and we'll post them up)
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