Interview of the Century: Curt Shackelford

Curt Shackelford: the man, the hero, the WaPo legend. For the past six years, Curt has been producing live stand-up comedy shows all over the D.C. metro area through his company, "Stand-Up Comedy to Go". And when I say producing, I am not talking about finding some dive bar w/a PA system so you can bring your dumbass friends, dress in a suit, and splash PBR in their faces. No, instead Curt brings a serious business approach to his comedy ventures. Anyone who has seen Curt pull up in his patented yellow truck knows exactly what I mean.

For inside it, Curt has everything he needs to put on a comedy show. Mic stand and mic? Check. Stage? Check. Fake brick wall? Check. 200 pens? Check. Just give Curt the go ahead and he will put up a show, like some sort of "big top" ringmaster.

These shows have been the launching pad for many local comics. Some have jumped to bigger and better places for comedy. Others are just thankful for the opprotunity to have consistent shows at which to perform. Either way, Curt has been an instrumental force in helping young comedians find their voice in D.C. for many years.

Curt has found his niche, and because of that, he won't budge on how he feels a comedy show should be run, and has no problem telling you that in almost every way possible. From the novella-sized attachment he emails to comics; to his grade school–like roll calls; to the "Everyone's a Comedian" audience-prying conclusion to his shows; you know it is Curt's three-ring circus, and he will run it as he pleases. Even if the clowns get upset.

And there have been many upset clowns over the years. Each one having their own reasons for why particpation under Curt's tent is not worth the price of admission. You may have heard some of them already. You may have not. But, this is not a post about them.

This is a rare interview with Mr. Shackelford. A no-holds barred event where Curt has the opprotunity to answer some of D.C.'s biggest questions as well as give his take on how the D.C. scene has changed, and how he views the world of comedy. Grab your popcorn, folks, you are in for a spectacle!

[Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, children of all ages.....hit the jump.]

For the unfortunate minority who have never heard of you or what you have done in D.C. over the years, please introduce yourself.

Hello, my name is Curt Shackelford….and I’m a compulsive organizer.

I started my first open mic at Parkers in Bethesda 5 or 6 years ago after tiring of schlepping to Wiseacres from Bethesda to compete with 20 other comics for 12 slots. I wanted my own show that I could MC, guaranteeing stage time each week. I found a local Bethesda bar that was game, and proceeded to run the absolute worst open mic ever—made many mistakes but really learned to run a room. The show ultimately sank for many reasons. The primary reason being that it was on a Monday night. Only alcoholic single people go out on Mondays.

Ironically the new Friday show at Parkers will prolly be a huge success cuz it’s on a great night—

What rooms do you currently run ?

Ri Ra Irish Pub in Clarendon, VA; Wed nite open mic

Topaz Hotel in Dupont Circle, DC; Thurs nite open mic

Hyatt Hotel in Bethesda, MD; Saturday nite showcase

What is your comedic background?

I did stand up for a couple years then started running my own shows to guarentee myself stage time cuz there was only one open mic back then—Wiseacres. Quite by accident, I discovered I was the greatest comedy show producer that ever lived.

Who are some of your influences comedic or otherwise?

Martin Short, Todd Glass, Brian Regan, etc.—goofy/silly comics—Will Ferrell—are some of my faves.

What's hacky comedy to you?

Not so much material-wise cuz that’s obvious—everyone agrees what is hacky—but what really annoys me is the hacky lines that comics feel they need to say:

“Keep it going for…..”

“Are you guys having fun?”

“How you guys doin tonite?”

“Who’s drinkin tonite?”

...and a dozen others that only annoy the audience and eat up the clock.

You give us your reasoning for producing shows over performing, but why do it at all? What drives you to be involved in comedy?

I went to the Ticonderoga Pencil Factory when i was a kid—the sight of all these yellow pencils rolling out on the assembly line was mesmerizing, cranking out perfect pencils by the hundreds every minute—they had to pull me away from the viewing glass. Aspergers again?—a fondness for systems, uniformity, and patterns...

Anyhoo, there's something satisfying about cranking out a fine product every week, whether it's a pencil or a show; in that respect, it's "fun."

What do you look for in a space when you approach a venue?

Separate room away from the main room is the big thing. My big mistake with Parkers was it’s a big open space. I naïvely thought that everyone in the place would be enthralled and thrilled to hear great comedy for free. Nope. Some people would rather not hear comedy—even great comedy. They’re on a date or they’re with a friend they haven’t seen for a while, and wanna chat, etc. So you need that separate room so these folks can have a place to go to get away from the show. At Parkers, it was seen as an intrusion by some folks…like “Hey…I’m eatin' here!!”

Let's just get to it, shall we? Recently, you wrote to me that you "[are] responsible for the renaissance of the DC open mic scene...five years ago there was only one open mic at Wiseacres...I copied them and made some improvements on their system...then people copied me, made some improvements on my system, and it snowballed from there."

I have to qualify that by saying Chris White’s starting of DC Standup was what made the renaissance possible. That site was like erecting a giant canvas, and suddenly everyone started throwing paint on it. I started Parkers, and I think other comics saw how easy it was to open a room of their own, so they followed suit in their respective neighborhoods. My shows were way better cuz I brought “real show” production values (stage, spotlight, etc.) to the venue. I wanted to copy that aspect of Wiseacres as well even though Parkers was just a bar.

Maybe you answered this already but you have also said that "open mics that are run by comics instead of non-coms like me will eventually & inevitably fail." Well Curt, you are actually right, because ALL open mics eventually fail/close.

So why then do you feel rooms run by non-coms are better?

If a comic splits his energy between practicing/perfecting his craft and running a room (read “selling food and beverages to justify your show's existence”), his craft will suffer. Every minute a comic spends on running a show is a minute he could have spent writing, rehearsing, or performing. This will eventually annoy the comic to the point he/she gives up in disgust, and turns his focus solely to his craft.

I tried to perform and run at Parkers, and I did both of them perfectly half-assed cuz it’s too taxing to do both well. I gave up in disgust but chose running shows over performing cuz I was great at it. I was a good comic, but a great producer. You gotta be great at what you do or forget it. Good is not good enough.

Then, please explain the success of an open mic like "Soho Coffee & Tea", which from what DC Standup has said was the longest-running DC open mic of all time (and that website is never wrong), and also happened to be run by a comic.

Soho—Paul Schorsch shut his show down fed up and disgusted. He wrote a blog about it called “Curt is right—I’m fed up and disgusted.”

What do you look for in comics when you book Topaz? How about the Hyatt?

Silliness, silliness, silliness.

You have expressed some strong feelings about new comics, in which you have said, "more stage time will *not* make you funnier. You are funny right out of the gate or not...and all the stage time in the world will not help you cuz 99.9% of what makes you funny is *beyond your control*".

This statement is gonna get me assassinated, but I firmly believe this.

Just one example:

Andy Haynes—it’s not his writing, his delivery, his whatever—it’s his default facial expression that has to do with genetics that makes everything he does/says “funny.”

Many more examples upon request.

You have also expressed to me your usual hesitation for putting up improvisers having a go at stand-up.

Not at all—I actually love improv comics who come into standup—they are usually stronger comics because of their improv background (yourself, Scovel, etc.)

It’s the actual art of improv that I find tedious beyond belief; it's like waiting for lightning to strike—too hit or miss. With standup, you just have more chance of regular laughs via punchlines.

As a former comic yourself Curt, what is your reasoning on the harsh approach you take with booking really funny, established comedians who have proven themselves time and time again vs. the notion that "newbies and their audience" dictate the success of a locally run comedy show?

When I ran Parkers five years ago I used nothing but the best comics—I promoted the hell out of the show, but we never got a decent size audience with any regularity. Newbies were not gonna get on my “quality” show cuz I didn’t wanna dilute it.

The show eventually died cuz we couldn’t bring in enough bodies—even though I did a solid year with nothing but the best comics. Ironically, the show would have *eventually* caught on and it would have been packed, but the word “eventually” does not sit well with venue owners. They no understanding of “eventually.” They only understand “within this quarter.”

Now my shows are a mix of newbies who bring the audience and veterans who make them laugh.

Every time I try to tamper with the mix, the show sucks.

Great lineup of too many veteran comics equals playing to six people.

Shitty lineup of too many newbies equals playing to a packed house of folks that will never come again.

So it’s a mixed bag—a combined approach. As the Devil Himself (manifested as Dick Cheney) said, "sometimes the answer is 'both'."

You have butted heads with many comics during your time of booking shows. Some have voiced their opinion, others have not. What are your feelings about Jay Hastings and the dispute that erupted between you two last year?

Art versus commerce—Jay is a comic who naturally champions art over commerce. I am a greedy producer who favors commerce over art. I try to keep a balance though; but commerce comes first.

“You can’t have a cupboard if there ain’t no wall.”

Comedy is supposed to be fun. When comics first receive your pre-show list of rules, they tend to think "holy shit, what have i gotten myself into." So my question is, why not get rid of them? Especially since some parts, like the dress code (no Timbalands, no doo rags, no black skin) seem to be targeting a certain group.

There were no rules when I started. Everytime I got reprimanded by the venue, I made it a rule to prevent it from happening again.

The rules are there to "set the tone," and the tone is, "This is not just another shitty open mic with seven TV's on and three drunk guys who don't even realize there's a show going on."

I want comics to treat it like a *real show*. I certainly do, and they should too. The 345 rules say that loud & clear.

Thankfully, there are 15 other shows in town where you can get stage time—but they aren't as good as mine, precisely cuz they lack "structure" (another word for rules). I don't want to make it seem like the Big Bad Venue made me institute that dress code; that was all my doing.

My shows are in white neighborhoods. White folks are frightened by the gangsta look—white-black-Latino-whatever; it's intended to look threatening and it works. "Threatening" is not a good vibe at a comedy show.

Ironically, I lifted the dress code language verbatim from a flyer put out by FUR nightclub, a black club, that read "no Tims, no skullies, etc."

My one black friend (I have pictures of me shaking his hand) had to explain to me what that stuff was, but I knew if the black clubs themselves didn't want that in their venues then I didn't either.

Some people in the community feel like you avoid comics who run their own rooms. Any comment?

This is true, but not for sinister reasons. They have their own rooms so they no longer are as “needy” as other comics. They have a guaranteed weekly slot; so I prefer to use comics who are more in need of stage time cuz they [don’t have] their own rooms.

Do you think there is ANY correlation between the success of Rory Scovel, Ryan Conner, and Danny Rouhier, and the constant rotation you kept those three comics in at all of your shows? Are you trying to do the same for comics presently? If so, throw out some names. Go ahead, who does Curt like nowadays?

We fed off each other. It was a perfectly symbiotic relationship—very win-win.

I think I speeded up their ascent to the NYC level by providing them with enough bodies in the audience (non-com bodies) every week so they could get real feedback on their performances, tweak them in time for next week’s show, etc.

My current fave—Hampton. Again it’s the way he looks, walks, stands, sounds, his mannerisms—all stuff beyond his control.

And he was blessed with the silliness gene—again something beyond his control.

Why don't you like watching basketball games?

Sneakers suction-cup “thwick-thwick-thwick” sound of running down the court plus the squeaking from the sudden stops, turns, and starts. I have mild Asperger's Syndrome that makes me sensitive to certain sounds.

Solution: Moccasins.

Why the hell don't you ever come out to other shows? I know you are a busy guy, but how can you expect to be on the pulse of the comedy scene in town without seeing it?

I would love to come watch other shows cuz I can’t really enjoy my own shows cuz I’m “working” and can never fully focus on enjoying a comic’s set. But I’m just too wiped out at the end of the day. I’m asleep by 8pm and up by 4am the next day to go pore over the topographical map of the DC Open Mic scene in my bunker’s war room in my poofy Field Marshall pants…pushing little plastic tanks around with one of those plastic tank pusher stick–thingies.

What is with the email blasts, really? Why ignore so many emails? Don't you think that it is mean and it undermines people's confidence?

I’m running my shows in the cracks and crevices of my day job. I gotta cram all my comedy work into very limited time; efficiency rules the day. If I had someone to do the booking, it would be great. They could take the time to be a bit more human about the whole booking process, but until I can afford to hire someone it will have to be mass email cattle-call style.

Aparna does a swell job running the lights at your shows, doesn't she? Quite the gal.

I picked her cuz she’s small, and can fit in the tiny crevices I reserve for the light lady—not taking up any unnecessary square footage that the audience could use.

Swell job?

She routinely falls asleep, talks during the show, gives more time to her friend-comics, but thinks I don’t notice cuz I am old and senile. But until a smaller comic comes along, her job is safe. I don’t like young people.

How do you see the open mic scene changing five years from now, and what are you doing to make sure you are a part of it?

There are shitty cover bands playing live “music” on every street corner. I’d like to see a comedy night on every corner alongside this plethora of live music. It should be as prevalent as live music. But live comedy is seen as a “wild animal” and also a “black sheep of the arts,” so venues are very afraid of letting this wild rabid dog into their fine establishment. But they have no problem letting in a lame cover band—safer I guess.

But the more rooms there are, the easier it will be for the next room to open, cuz you can point to the other rooms and say “Hey look Mr. General Manager, that place across the street is doing comedy!” So then it can snowball even bigger and bigger.

Read more!

DC Comedy Spotlight: John McBride

You already know he is a hero, which makes him more than worthy of this week's DC Spotlight. For more than 2 years John McBride has been bringing his laid back style to stages all over the DC area. Growing up as the little mixed kid in Atlanta, he has a very unique view of how the world works and it shows in his material. This loose style equates to most of his jokes hitting you before you even knew they were coming.

But don’t let his comedy style fool you. He is also one of the hardest working comics in town. For several years he ran the Café Rendezvous open-mic, which quickly became a favorite of local comedians to workshop their material. He also help run The Bomb Shelter @ 18th and Red, which was featured in a AMU radio piece on DC Comedy. Now, he and Brandon Ivey are producing the new Classic American Comedy showcase at Parker’s American Bistro in Bethesda. It debuts Friday night. Add another item to the long list of things Jon has done to help the DC Comedy Community.

He has been featured on the Comcast-on-Demand Open Mic and was a finalist in the DC Improv's 2007 Showcase competition. He has also worked with comedians such as Ted Alexandro and Bob Marley.

Catch him performing soon at:

Friday, Feb. 29
Parker's Classic American
4824 Bethesda Ave, 20814
10pm
FREE

Thur-Sun, March 18th-22nd
DC Improv
Hosting for DC Benny
8 and 10:30pm


DCC4N interview with John:
When did you realize that you wanted to do comedy?

I don’t know! I mean I guess this isn’t the right answer. It’s hard to pinpoint a specific time. I had many boring summer days as a kid and I used to watch this show “Stand up Stand up” on Comedy Central. I remember it was hosted by some really corny dude. But they would basically run the same stand up clips over and over again, and I would still watch it over and over again. I clearly didn’t realize it at the time but that show sucked and it’s not normal to watch that show over and over again. But I loved it...

[Read the rest of John's interview, plus a video after the jump!]

...Maybe that was an indication that I might want to do this one day. I also have the really cliché story where my older sister and her bad news boyfriend let me watch Eddie Murphy’s Delirious when I was like 11 or something, this is true and I remember laughing my ass off but I wouldn’t say that was “the moment” either but it definitely influenced me. But I always was pretty funny, my mom is my biggest fan, she thinks I’m hilarious (Shocking I know). I actually just called her and asked her what she thinks my first influences are. She didn’t know about the Eddie Murphy thing until I just told her, looks like I let the cat out of the bag on that one. But she said she used to let me get away with some things I shouldn’t have gotten away with because I did it in “a funny way (my moms words)” to her. She always said “You’re going to be a comedian.” Thanks mom!

Who were some of your earliest influences? What about them captivated you?

Eddie Murphy is the first guy that really influenced me. That time I saw Delirious (read above) was really the first time I saw a comic just dominate for more than an hour. One thing that really caught my attention is when he said something like “You thought you were going to see Gumby and shit…well you’re not.” And then he started cursing and just taking that place over. I was like whoa “You can just do that?” That was the first time I saw something like that. Also, my dad loved Mel Brooks and he would always get us to watch Mel Brooks movies like Spaceballs. I specifically remember him taking me to see Life Stinks, at the time I thought that was the funniest thing ever made and so did he. Then of course I saw other comics on TV. I didn’t really matter who it was when I was a kid I would always just watch it. I guess they would be influences as well. I have other influences also but you asked for my earliest so that’s what I can remember as the earliest. My parents would fight with my sister a lot and I would just drop some kind of joke to chill everyone out. I also proudly hold the honor of being the only person that can make fun of my sister without her trying to kill me. YOU try and see what happens son.

Where did you first perform? What was your first paid gig?

First performed at Dremo’s. First paid gig at The Hyatt. Thanks Curt!!!!

What was your first joke?

I think it was the joke about how no one knows where I’m from. I look Mexican or Arab or whatever. So I like to confuse people, like last week I went to a job interview, I was munching on a chalupa and wearing a turban. They were confused…but hey I got the job though, you are looking at the face of Taco Bell for the new Iraq…I start really soon they said…as soon as it calms down over there…which should be any minute now. I think that was my first joke could have been something else though.

Do you prefer to write on or off stage? Do you enjoy the process of writing?

I prefer to write off stage. That’s where most of my writing gets done. On stage I might discover a new tag or sometimes I even uncover a new angle for a concept that I never thought of. But I will take that off stage and try to write more on it later. I really do like the writing process especially when I got something going. That really gets me excited. I love writing because when you come up with something that makes me think, “I can’t wait to get on stage and do this.” I will say though, there is a direct correlation to how much/well I write and how much I am on stage. The more stage time I get the more I write. I like writing with other comics as well. They throw out a concept and we will just mess around with that for a while. Then I’ll throw one out and we’ll mess around with that for a while. Sometimes you get an angle on something that never occurred to you. It helps and to me it makes it a lot more fun. If both of you are sitting there laughing at a concept or a punchline then it will generally be a good joke. That is the real fun part to me. Also, if you are writing with another comic who is your friend you start talking about other stuff that is happening in your life and realize that something about your situation is really funny too.

What about performing live do you enjoy? Do you ever want to convey a message?

My favorite part of performing live is just when you get on stage you do your first few jokes and you can see that the crowd is really with you. That’s the best part, it’s like I really got them on your wavelength and they want to know what you are going to do next. That’s when I really loosen up and take more risks on-stage. I also like the surprise when you do a joke that the rational part of your head is saying, they are not going to like this because it is making fun of whatever demographic is in the audience. But then when the joke goes over well with the crowd you feel like you kind of got away with something. I don’t specifically write jokes to try to convey a message, I try to be funny. But if there is an instance where I can get something in that kind of proves a point I might, as long as it doesn’t compromise the funniness of a joke. But also I won’t say something that is against my personal morals. Like I am not going to be extra derogatory towards gays or women or just crazy racist or something because I think it can get a laugh, that’s not trying to convey a message but I am just being responsible to myself. What’s the point of having a funny joke if you feel like shit every time you tell it?

What's hacky to you?

Stuff I have heard before basically. People can do jokes about stereotypes and it not be hacky, but you need to try to take a hack(I’m clever) at it in a different way. You can’t be like ‘white people can’t dance’ and all you do is dance like an off beat white person, and that’s the joke. That is garbage, everyone has heard/seen that and we get it. Now does that mean you can’t talk about white people not being able to dance? No, mix it up, find a different angle, I’m not saying it will be the best joke in the world but it might not be hacky. If you are going to use a concept like that, I kind of see it like you have 1 strike against you already for the joke, now are you going to get 2 more by doing some tired ass joke with it or are you going to find a new way to attack it? Some concepts, like the one I just referenced may not have any other angles left though…but you get my point. With all that being said, if you start out with a completely new and interesting concept it really has endless possibilities to be a great joke.

What is your day job?

I’m with the United Way as a Development Associate as of right now. I help them raise money. I like to call it “paper chasing.”

Were your parents supportive of you doing comedy?

This is a really interesting question for me. My mom is very supportive of my stand up. She loves it. My father passed away before I started doing comedy. I often wonder how he would feel about it. He was a really strict man. No nonsense, but he did have a good sense of humor and loved to laugh. I mean I could get him laughing really hard sometimes. I remember I told him a story about my 7th grade Spanish teacher, Ms. Simpson. I was telling him how she pushed this shopping cart just full of all kinds of crap around the school all the time. She didn’t know any Spanish either and we just did the first page of the workbook for the entire semester. But she loved saying the word “Encantado!” a lot, and spit would fly out of her mouth every time she said it. I would just yell out “Encantado!” from time to time and just get him cracking up. But as far as him liking me trying to make folks laugh for a living? I don’t know how he would feel about it. I’m not sure if he would really be supportive or not, I like to think that he would be though. He just wouldn’t think it was a really good career path or choice…mainly because it isn’t.

Where do you plan on moving next?

I think New York. But I’m in no rush, I don’t know, stop asking me all of these questions…anything can happen.

How do you feel about the overall comedy scene in DC? Anything you want to change and what are you going to do to change it?

I mean talent-wise I like the scene. I think we have some really funny people. It’s cliquey but I don’t think there is any scene that isn’t. I don’t mind the cliqueiness anyway, that makes it fun to watch everyone try to measure themselves up to one another. I think there are folks that honestly think that they are the funniest person here, or will be the funniest person soon, and those for whatever reason desperately want to be the funniest person here right now. I think that type of delusion is healthy and hilarious. It’s hilarious because who gives a fuck if you are the funniest in DC(how do you even quantify that?). Just get yourself to the point where you want to be, where you feel comfortable taking it to a new level…whatever that level may be for you. It should be a different path for everyone. Now it’s healthy because everyone is competing, but for what, I’m not really sure. But for whatever reason we are competing and it keeps peoples brains moving and pushes us to come up with new stuff, and that’s great. I think it really helps the scene and helps everyone get funnier and funnier. Anyway, what I would change? More rooms would be tight.


Read more!

Hero of the Decade: Curt Shackelford

When you think of a “hero”, you probably think: Firefighters, Cops, Military Men and Women, Doctors, and Teachers. Not me. My definition of “hero” is much looser and doesn’t play by Webster’s rules. That is why I have selected Curt Shackelford as my HERO of the DECADE (Curt, I’m available on January 30th for a set at Dr. Dremos)! A hero is someone who produces a product that leaves our society better off then how they found it. What has Curt Shakelford produced, you nay-sayers may ask? Curt is responsible for 87% of the laughter generated in Bethesda, MD on Saturday evenings. He would have 100% of the laughter, but there is a trick shot golfer who really hams it up for the country club types. But, that’s not really important….FORE!!!

To read more about this GREAT man...click the motherfuckin' link!

Curt has also produced some of the greatest comics that have ever come out of DC. (Curt, I’m also available to feature at the Hyatt on Feb 9th) No, he did not create Dave Chappelle, Lewis Black, Wanda Sikes, or Martin Lawrence. He’s not god. However, he is very clean which is super close to godly. But, who cares about Dave Chappelle, when you’ve got Rory Scovel, Ryan Conner, Justin Schlegel, Jon Mumma, Danny Rouhier, and Dawn McClear. That’s right…HE CREATED THEM!!! (Curt, I can’t do FEB 16th because I’ll be performing at the DC Improv that night) Curt’s natural ability to recognize raw talent (without it hitting him in the face) is second to few. When Rory wrote a fantastic joke…Curt was there. When Ryan gave his personal insight to a social issue…Curt was there. When Danny made a funny voice...actually, that was Curt. Anyway, the point being is that without Curt, where would the DC Comedy Scene be? (Curt, I’m also available as of now, the entire month of March) I don’t want to think about where this scene would be without the likes of Mr. Greg Estrada.

The venues that Curt created helped advanced the “chosen” talent very, very, very quickly. Dr. Dremo’s on Wednesday and Topaz on Thursday night; the Big 3 were there; practicing and getting better. New comics also flourished, as long as their friends didn’t have to work late. You got to hand it to old Curt…Dr. Dremo’s was the best open mic in America for as long as I remember. That’s right…AMERICA. Can anyone else tell me where you’ll regularly find over 100 people at an open mic? (Seriously, my March is WIDE open Curt. You do know that I am actually funny, right? I’m not Dave George funny…but I’m trying.)

So, for all the ups and downs we’ve had along the way we all really do owe Curt a great big, “Thank You”. No matter if you’re a Rory Scovel, Hampton Yount, or some horrible, piece of shit new comic who doesn’t deserve any stage time, or if you’re a veteran who has put in their time, argued and fought with Curt, kissed made up, and still NEVER get booked….we still all owe him at least a “thank you”. So, THANK YOU CURT! (Also, the entire month of April is wide fucking open for a Hyatt show.)

In closing I would just like to say that without Curt Shakelford I would not have had the fast start to my comedy career in DC. He put me up often and allowed me to perform in great rooms like Dr. Dremos. I’m very sad to see that place go. It’s where I cut my teeth. It’s where I shed my fear of the stage and it’s where I smoked a lot of pot and drank a lot of beers. I’m sad I won’t be performing there again, but when God closes a window, he always leaves a door unlocked for a sexual predator.

Thanks Curt.


***Sorry it took me so long to write this blog, but I wrote the entire thing backhanded.***

Read more!

Curt! Hey, Curt! Hello?! Mr. Shackelford?!!!!

Curt! I've been sending you emails! Why haven't you returned my emails? Curt, I need you! You are the godfather of DC comedy so if I don't have your ear I got nothing! Nothing! I'm on my knees over here! My knees! I know you read this blog, Curt.
Curt, I'm gonna come at you like a man. Look, dude, i got a dream, and that dream involves you emailing me back once. Just to tell me that you're alright. I worry about you, Curt(If that is your real name). I know this comedy life is lived in the fast lane and there are a lot of temptations. But you are better than that, so put whatever is keeping you from returning emails down, and pick up your laptop and holla at ya boy! Just in case you really haven't gotten my emails, here are some that I have sent you over the last few weeks:

Hey Curt, this is Nick, I'm Rory's friend who did the Hyatt back in August. I'd like to come do Topaz on Thursday if there is still time open. Also I would love to come back to the Hyatt any time you have an open slot. Thanks Curt, Nick

Hey Curt, I just wanted to make sure that this was the correct email address. Let me know, Nick

Hey curt. still trying to get a hold of you, seeing if I can do one of
your shows. Let me know, or at least let me know if you hate me and want me to die so i don't have to keep sending you emails. Thanks
Curt, PEACEnick

Curt! I've been shot! I need your help! I'm dying over here!
Auuuugghhhh!! Please, this is probably the last email I will ever be able to write...tell my mom that i love her, tell my dad that he sucks at backgammon, and tell my dog...that he died 8 years ago. Curt!
HEEELP!!!

Curt, that is all I can do and I can't do no more. Is this the end of the road for the tumultuous twosome? Will nick ever get a date or will he wallow in obscurity forever? Tune in next week to read the exciting conclusion of...."YA BANNED!" Read more!