DC has a lot of nice guy comics, but Bryson Turner is the tallest. He also is one of the funniest by having this rare ability to make himself vulnerable onstage, without eliciting the normal pity parade an audience would give to that. Even when he turns it around and starts hatin', he is still having fun with it. He is just a sincere guy, sharing with you the things he finds funny. Yeah, sometimes it is a potentially awkward subject, but his laid back demeanor shows that he never means to offend and audiences can’t help but believe him. A lot of times, you will see Bryson and the audience laughing together.
Bryson has brought his act to Wiseacres, The Hyatt in Bethesda, The Bomb Shelter, The Arlington Draft House and Solly's Top Shelf. He has also opened for Bill Burr @ the DC Improv.
Bryson’s charm continues to pay off. This weekend he is opening for one of DCC4N’s favorite comedians, Maria Bamford, at the Arlington Cinema Drafthouse:
Friday March 14th @ 9:45 $22
Saturday March 15th @ 9:45 $22
Catch him next week @ The Awesome Room in Silver Spring, MD:
Thursday March 20th @ 9pm $4
Then he is back at the DC Improv this April in the DCCF Audition Showcase and with Cash Cab Host Ben Bailey.
Check him out, kid!
DCC4N Interview with Bryson Turner:
What was your first joke?
"I actually went to the same high school as Christina Aguilera. That's true - we went to North Allegheny High School in Wexford, Pennsylvania. Yeah. And here's an interesting trivia fact for you - I was actually the only kid from our high school that didn't have sex with her.
(laughs...pause)
I'm kidding, I'm kidding....of course i had sex with her."
[Hit the jump for more of Bryson's Interview]
When did you realize that you wanted to do comedy?
This is a really douche-y answer, but I can't remember when I didn't know. I remember I was maybe four, and I saw Eddie Murphy hosting an awards show, and he told a joke about how for most people, if you see someone walking down the street, dressed up like an old lady, and they fall into an open manhole, then that's funny. But it's harder to make a comic laugh. For comics, it has to be an actual old lady. I remember - at like maybe four or five - I heard that and I was like "that's me. i'm a comic." that's what i knew i wanted to be, forever. all throughout childhood, one of my biggest fears was "what if i get onstage and find out this isn't for me?" i had no idea what else i would do. i thought about doing talent shows or coffee shops as early as 11 or 12, but i was scared to death of finding out that i was actually terrible at what I felt 100 percent sure was my calling. now i've been doing it for five years, so i only get that feeling after about three open-mics a week.
Who were some of your earliest influences? What about them captivated you?
Actually, I didn't have any stand-up comics as influences early on. My earliest influences were my older brother's friends. I wanted desperately to be accepted by them. I wasn't good enough at sports to compete with older kids, so humor was my only shot. Whatever I could do to make them laugh, that kind of shaped my comedy. So my personality and my comedy were both really self-deprecating back then. If you're laughing at yourself, then no one can just laugh at you. They can only laugh with you. That was my in.
The first comedy album I ever owned was Brian Regan's. That affected me, definitely. I remember my neighbor up the street burned me a copy of the Regan CD, but it was just one 56-minute track, so me and my little brother used to listen to the first 20 minutes time after time after time, but we'd almost never listen to the end of it, which is about dogs barking and stuff, if I remember right. We used to quote that thing non-stop. Oh! Episodes of the Simpsons, too. That writing was just so damn good. I never had a computer until college, which is when i started downloading stuff. Jim Gaffigan was the guy I was most into when I first started actually performing stand-up. When I first started doing stand-up, my style was a cross between Gaffigan and Conan during his opening monologues. Those were the two I did at first. Then it was David Cross, and now Bill Burr and Patrice O'Neal are the two that I really see and say "wow...that's the direction I want to go." Louis C.K., too. 
It blows my mind how willing they are to open themselves. That's what captivates me. When a comic invites you into the thoughts a regular person wouldn't think to admit. Louis C.K. has a bit about how now that he's a father, whenever he hears about a baby being found in a dumpster, he understands. Who would think to admit that thought to other people? And it crushes. It destroys. That's the type of thing I see and say, "Man...I hope I'm able to open myself up like that someday."
Where did you first perform? What was your first paid gig?
I told a joke when I was hosting a talent show at an International Church Conference when I was 12 I think, in front of maybe 800 people, and it bombed worse than any joke I've told since, but that's a story for another day. Let's talk about the first time I did a set. I took a class called "TV/Film Comedy" my freshmen year of college, and I stayed after one time and asked the teacher how I could get the most out of the class possible, because I wanted to pursue it as a career. He told me the best way was to do stand-up. I guess there was one other kid who had sought him out and said the same thing, so a couple weeks later, at the end of class he had me and this other kid do stand-up for like 200 kids. Looking back, the other kid was actually funnier.
The first time I got paid was a couple years later. I did a Halloween-night show at a local bar and got paid sixty bucks. Actually, I remember telling my dad that I didn't want to cash the check and give it to the bank, because I wanted to keep it as a memento, and he asked how much it was for, because he figured he'd just pay me the money and let me keep the check, like as a gift. I told him it was for sixty bucks and he was like, "Photocopy it." He wasn't trying to be patronizing, but I don't think it occurred to him that anyone would get paid more than five bucks to tell jokes.
Do you prefer to write on or off stage? *Do you enjoy the process of writing?
I could write this answer for days, and it would be the most depressing answer ever. I'll keep it short. I write better off-stage. I write in spurts. I don't earn any of my writing. I rarely, maybe once a month, sit down for an extended stretch and hash out all the potential humor in a premise that I think of.
Okay, think of it like this. Remember when I said I wanted to do stand-up when I was 12, but I was scared I'd be bad, so I didn't start until I was in college? Well, I'm still in that phase when it comes to writing. I think I could be a lot better if I wrote, but I don't, because I'm afraid I would find out I'm wrong, and then I would have effectively defined my ceiling as a comic. I refuse to sit down and write daily and find out what I can really do, because I'm afraid I'll find out I can't do that much. I'll never be a good comic until I overcome that fear. I know this, and yet the fear continues to reign over logic and hope. I hate myself and I'm a fraud and anyone who respects me is being fooled.
What about performing live do you enjoy?
There are rare moments when I feel like I'm talking and not just performing a bit. Those are the moments I enjoy. They're very rare, and very fleeting. I told a joke recently about race, and I ended up talking about childhood and how I feel a need to connect with black people as an adult because my childhood was so devoid of them. I didn't go up there planning to say it, it just kind of came out. It was real, and it came out funny somehow. I did a set in October and had about a minute straight where I felt it, like what I was saying was coming out straight from the core, completely unfiltered. That minute in October is one of the best moments of my life so far. I know this is probably reading corny, but I can't describe it right. I just always feel like my mind is tensed up whenever I perform. Those moments where everything releases, and it's pure, are amazing. That's really the only reason to bother living life. For those brief moments where you don't feel like you're tricking everyone.
Do you ever want to convey a message?
haha my answer to the previous question probably suggests i do. Yes, I'm one of those comics. I think I can say something through humor. I don't really know what that message is yet, but I'm definitely a proponent of connecting.
Look. I've only been doing this for five years. So I'm a terrible comic. Anything I claim to be trying to do is going to be insulting to anyone who is actually doing it. I'm an asshole. I know. I wrote a joke a month ago about fucking a mannequin at Baby Gap. So any "message" I claim to be passing along has to be served with a rather large side of salt grains. I want to say I just like connection, but I totally get off on what people think of me. So if I claimed that the message i'm trying to send is something deep, or profound, it would probably just be part of the larger, more latent message that I'm trying to send, which is "Bryson is awesome, and fascinating, and you should want to get to know him better." That's the message I try to send. I'm an asshole.
What's hacky to you?
Anybody who encourages the audience to be dumber.
What is your day job?
I work as a receptionist and have the opportunity to read and write for seven hours a day, though instead I just surf espn.com. That depresses me.
Were your parents supportive of you doing comedy?
They were and are. Different parents have different strategies. For better or worse, my parents love me unconditionally. I learned to love unconditionally. That can be a bad thing in romantic relationships. But that's the only love I know. now I'm rambling. Yes, they're supportive. I think sometimes my mom is too supportive -I don't want the rest of the church choir to google me and listen to my bit about blowjobs. But, like I said...unconditional. I would suggest that that might be a bad thing, because i don't feel i have anyone to prove wrong, but i'm not quite emo enough to complain that my parents loved me too much.
Where do you plan on moving next?
I don't know where I'm headed next. I toyed with the idea of moving laterally, as in to a city with a similar-sized scene, like Austin, TX, or Minneapolis. But if I was a betting man, I'd say New York. I really don't know. I could die tomorrow, you know? If I get the chance to live somewhere new in this life, I'll be thrilled. I will say this, though - I'm always going to look back fondly on DC. This place has been very, very good to me, both comedy and otherwise.
How do you feel about the overall comedy scene in DC? Anything you want to change, and what are you going to do to change it?
How do I feel about the overall comedy scene in DC? Not good - the way I see it, anybody wearing overalls probably isn't that funny.
BAAA-ZINNNNNNNNNNG!!!
Seriously though, I think it's good. Could it be better? Of course. But there's more to a scene than just how many open-mics there are. So much of comedy is having life experiences to make jokes about. There's so much here in DC that you just don't get in other cities - the diversity, the history, the culture. For me, it's been a great place to try to grow as a person, and your comedy comes out through that filter.
If I were going to change something? I think the DC scene can fall into a trap of creating a bubble around itself. There's only one major club in town, so I think it's dangerous to invest that much stock into what they think of you. The scene needs to work hard to branch out and connect with other scenes around the East and around the country. Andy Haynes spending time here, and the resulting connection to the Washington (state) scene was really cool. I'd love to set that up in places like Austin, or Minneapolis, or different spots like that. But I just think the scene has an overall need to branch out further and try to reach out to other cities.
How will i help make a change? I'm voting Barack in '08. I feel like that's a good place to start.
Read more!
Heyyyyy folks,
