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Showing posts with label bar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bar. Show all posts

Monday, April 21, 2008

I Know I Was Terrible; I Was There!

I recently did two shows, the likes of which I will document for you here.

About two weeks ago, I did a college show. Now, you know how I feel about college shows. Actually you probably don't, but here's a helpful, yet condescending reminder. So one was a college show and the second was a bar show. Ah yes, the versatility of the stand up experience! From the glowing halls of universities lit with lamps of knowledge to the Miller-lighted, wood-paneled taverns of sports spectatoring! To be fair, the college show was an outdoor luau event. There was nothing academic about it, son...unless you consider "Cupcakes for the Cancer Cure" and free t-shirts educational!

Neither show went quite as spectacularly as anyone hoped (speaking on behalf of the organizers, myself, the other comedians, and the audience members), but I think we all had unreasonable hopes involving mild success. However, the pertinent question was raised: How do you make the most of a bad show (speaking only as a perfomer this time)? Now let it be known that I mean no offense to any of the show organizers involved here. Let's be honest, you can only control so much when it comes to the conditions of nature and human temperaments. Still though, is there any way to salvage some good from a show that occurs under less than ideal circumstances?

think outside the box!
photo courtesy of Flickr and kushwaha

[Hit the jump for foolhardy hypotheses, show rec(r)aps, blasphemous conclusions, and other assorted ballyhoo!]

1. COLLEGE SHOW
So this college's spring luau event committee made one costly decision. They expected the D.C. metro area weather to cooperate with their revelry efforts. Sierra optiMists! Fair enough if you're only about eating, drinking, and general behavior wherein communication is not a priority. However, the art of stand-up comedy solely depends on the ability to communicate "jokes" to an "audience", preferably a seated one, but hey, we're not choosy. So when I saw the small platform of a stage with a microphone (albeit a working one, thanks goodness) at the bottom of a giant hill (i.e., nature's own audience arena), and witnessed the scattered nature of the event, I started to feel a tid bat anxious (dyslexia intentional).

But when it was time for the show to start, a beautiful and attentive medium-sized crowd did assemble (shout out to flyering on college campuses). Unfortunately, right at about this time, also entered: A mighty wind. That's right. Cut to a small-scale Hurricane Higher Education. The MC handled it beautifully. He did some crowdwork with the kids, but also with the wind. From what I could hear anyway, and he generally got the crowd on the same page as the stage. Two comics later, people were starting to leave, and I had yet to go up (the "headliner" of the evening, weehoo?!) By the time I was onstage, I couldn't even hear my own voice let alone speak the start of a premise without some huge piece of equipment losing its footing behind me. Buckets were rolling (you can cross them all off yer bucket lists), signs were flapping, people were huddled together into one large amoeba of warmth. Needless to say, I lost my bearings several times, both in my set and literally onstage because of the turbulence. The remaining crowd was magically supportive and the organizers were thoroughly apologetic afterward, but nonetheless, it still felt a bit like Stand Up Boot Camp.

what a blustery eve it twas!
photo courtesy of Flickr and bcmom

My only thoughts are I could have done more wind jokes or pantomimed more vivid despair, in real time. This one seems to fall under the ever-popular "Just Suck It Up" method of handling difficult shows. I liked the "Is she going to fly away?" closer though. I might keep that. Oh! I should have also worn more layers.

2. BAR SHOW
So there were a few problems with this show, but nothing insurmountable. The show was inside! Huge plus! There was a working microphone. It was in the back room of a bar so nothing in the way of ambient noise pollution. The lighting was a little iffy. It was a new lighting system, and it still had some kinks in it. Other than that, the only poo factor was a typical one: small crowd. Not tiny actually, but not huge. But in terms of response, definitely a small crowd. There were some card-carrying non-reactors/default expressionists. And one back table was holding up the entire audience in terms of any audible laughter.

this was NOT the crowd at the show
photo courtesy of Flickr and Sreejith K

This show plainly fell under the "I'll just have fun messing around" clause. Unfortunately, my "just mess around" skills need some severe work. I tried commenting on a framed picture of beer in the room, but that went flat quickly. I tend to deflate suddenly in the face of disinterest so of course, chalk it up to a learning experience (I have so many...me so lucky). I thought the other comics handled it very swell. In fact, the illustrious Jon Mumma did one of the most beautiful impromptu act outs I've ever seen where he went and tickled a grown man's belly in the hopes of eliciting anything in the way of a positive emission. Now that's commitment.

I realize this whole post comes off as extremely whiny and high-maintenance, but stand up comedy is a whiny and high-maintenance art form. Yeah I said it! I'll self-deprecate an entire art form if I feel like it.

Anyway, please share your thoughts about particularly trying shows, and whether you were able to emerge with both your dignity and your resolve intact. Links to previous blogs are acceptable, you lazy clods.

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Monday, December 17, 2007

Bar None! Part 2...I'm sensing a recurring theme, Larry!


Disclaimer: I ate 3 pounds of bacon this morning. That's not the disclaimer. The disclaimer is please excuse the lack of grammar and utter disregard for proper spelling while reading this. I can't help it. I eat a lot of bacon and sometimes it affects the way I think.

Last week I had the good fortune to do another amazing bar gig. Now I've said before that bar gigs can go one of two ways: amazingly awful or please let my car hit a barrier on the way home awful.


The show was in the banquet hall of a bar in Baltimore that we will call the Kingdom of Fun for the sake of protecting the innocent. Actually the venue wasn't bad at all. The room was nice. The sound system wasn't bad. The clientele were attentive and appreciative. So you're probably thinking Larry, what was the problem then? There were 9 people there. Nine people in a banquet room that holds about 80. If you have nine people and they're all laughing it still doesn't feel like you're doing well. In fact it doesn't even feel like you're doing a show. It feels more like a relaxed work meeting and you're making everybody laugh by poking fun at Steve from logistics.

[Hit the jump people! Rednecks inside!]


After the show a guy came up to me to offer advice on how I should end a few jokes. Luckily the 9 PBR's this guy had during the show really cleared his head so that the creativity could flow easily. He basically told me to end a joke that I do with a racial slur. The joke is about horoscopes. It doesn't even involve people.

(Thanks for the tip Bad Teeth guy)

I'm going to give this show an amazingly awful rating because I didn't have an urge to drive into a concrete barrier on the way home. Sure I left the Kingdom of Fun questioning what I'm doing, but I can't lie and say that I didn't somehow have fun. It's one of those shows that while you're doing it you are saying to yourself "this is awful, but I'm liking it" and then you immediately ask yourself "Am I retarded?"

By the way...with Christmas on the way pick yourself a gift that keeps giving this holiday season. The Larry Poon Doormat. The description says it all.


"Poonified" Doormat --- $39.99 "Some pompous douchebags may also be selling doormats, but none of their doormats have the heavenly vision of Larry Poon smiling up at them while they wipe the dog shit off their feet. This is most likely your only chance to run your shoes, sandals, flip-flops, or your bare genitalia on Larry Poon's face, so take advantage of this item while it's in stock!!" Read more!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Tales from the Road: Bar None!

Disclaimer: My spelling and grammar is atrocious. I also like to use ellipsis A LOT. I'm bad at word play and thinking of titles that are creative. I almost named this one Chicken and Corn and it has nothing to with chicken or corn. But you'll have to deal with it. I'm an ICON and I wear Valour.

I had a one nighter last night at a bar in Baltimore. Bar gigs usually go two ways. "Painfully awful" and "only slightly awful". There are a few reasons for this and the one that tends to be the number one reason is that no one in the bar seems to to ever know that a show is going to be happening.

However, this was not the case last night because there was nobody there to not know that a show was going on. I got to the bar around 8:20 for the 9:00pm show and walked into the following scene.

(The bar had less people than this.)


That's a slight exaggeration. There were a group of 5 people gathered around a pool table. The bathrooms were right by the pool tables so as I was in the bathroom I could overhear one of the guys at the pool table saying "I just love alcohol" over and over. I was only in the bathroom for a couple of minutes. In that time the guy said that phrase 12 times. I love alcohol too, but when you proclaim your love for it out loud 12 times in a span of two minutes you probably have a problem with alcohol.

I had a couple of Poon Nation Fan club members show up so while I was entertaining them I looked over my shoulder to see the Booker/headliner having a heated argument with the bar manager. I excused myself from the discussion on how great I am and walked over to find out:

THE BAR DIDN'T HAVE A SOUND SYSTEM AND THE BOOKER/HEADLINER DIDN'T BRING ONE.

Apparently that was one minor detail that the bar overlooked and the Booker forgot to follow up on.

So we discussed our options:

(A bullhorn was actually discussed and quickly tossed out as an option because nobody has bullhorns.)


The lack of sound system overshadowed (and rightly so) the fact that by 9pm only a handful of people had showed up to see the show so the bar management decided that it would be "best" to cancel the show.

I still got paid which is rare for when shows like these get cancelled. So this bar gig will be filed under "only slightly awful". I have a make up date in January. I hope they have a sound system.
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