Comedy Spot, Ballston Mall this Friday!

FRI l NOV 14 l 8 & 10PM$15 l (R) l BUY TICKETS NOW RUNNING TIME 60 MINUTES

Horse & House is a four-man longform improv ensemble with a reputation for fast, physical, and wildly imaginative comedy performances. Armed with a single audience suggestion, Horse & House fires off 30 minutes of comedic scenes that ricochet around a central theme. Together the members of Horse & House have delighted crowds in their hometown of Washington, DC as well as New York City, Chicago, Toronto, Philadelphia, Charleston, and Baltimore.Cast: Dan Hodapp, Dan MacAvoy, Mark Pagan, Justin Purvis

With special guests!
8:00pm: Vic Speedboat . . . 10:00pm: Caveat

The members of Horse & House met at the Washington Improv Theater in Washington, DC as members of the ensemble Caveat. All of them have studied, taught and performed at WIT and individually, they have studied at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in New York City, and i.O. and Second City in Chicago. Now residing in DC, NYC and Chicago, the four play together as Horse & House, a traveling ensemble for special event shows.

WEEKLY SCHEDULE
FRIDAYS
ComedySportz8PM l $15 l PG
The Blue Show10PM l $15 l R
SATURDAYS
CSz 4 Kidz *3PM l $10 l PG
ComedySportz 7:30PM l $15 l PG
The Blue Show10PM l $15 l R
* see CALENDAR

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Monday Mourning

Who Was to Know Anyway?
Improviser’s Game Scene Foreshadows Own Death

(Omaha, Nebraska)--While on a blind date with comedienne Joan Rivers, math teacher Morgan Fetterson, 42, a member of Omaha’s venerable improv group, "The Aww-Shucksters" was fatally impaled Wednesday night at the Scoop &Lick ice-cream shop by an unidentified Japanese ninja.

What has local citizens spooked however is the fact that Fetterson closed out the "Shuckster's" show the previous Saturday in a scene where he was sliced through the gut by a Japanese ninja while on a blind date with Joan Rivers that took place in an ice cream parlor.

“I’ve never been a part of an investigation that was as unfortunate as it was mad-capped”, said Detective Mike Richardson.

During the show’s finale Fetterson initiated the improv game "Blind-Line", where the actor chose a folded piece paper among many on the floor that had written suggestions from the audience to inspire the next scene.

"Blind date with Joan Rivers", Fetterson reportedly read aloud, whereby he then asked the audience for a quick "non-geographical location" to start the scene. "Ice cream parlor" was shouted from the inebriated audience inside "The Nut Hut Bar and Grill".

"I remember 'Fetty' was excited because it was the first suggestion we got all night that was an actual idea and not an accusation concerning his sexual orientation" laments longtime Shuckster, Betsy Simmons, 48, a Royal Farm’s shift supervisor.

Authorities’ first suspect was the assailant in the improvised scene Randy Baker, 18, of Omaha. Baker, affectionately known as “Random” by his cast mates, “sliced” Fetterson through the gut eerily in the same manner that he was skewered by the actual ninja just days later. Just as he did in the ice-cream shop, Fetterson gripped his stomach and fell to the floor, gasping the words, “You f**ker”. Fetterson and Baker had to be separated following the show after Fetterson lunged at Baker with a foam tube.

Detectives have ruled out Baker as a possible suspect because of his alibi and also that witnesses reported the real Ninja as stealthily quiet during his brief time in the store. Baker is known locally as someone who cannot make any sort of physical motion without it being accompanied by some sort of "swooshing sound".

Furthermore, “Nut Hut” customers say Fetterson and Baker reconciled in the parking lot and had a discussion, which lasted past closing, breaking down what exactly happened, what could have happened, what sometimes happens, and what they had seen happen in other comedy inside and outside of Omaha.

Comedienne Rivers, area real-estate investor, was set up to go out with Fetterson by a mutual friend. Rivers who is not talking to the media about the incident did say to the police that she had stepped out to "apply skin patches" and thus missed Fetterson's murder altogether.

A funeral for Fetterson will be held on Friday at the Grace Memorial Cemetery in downtown Omaha. Some of Fetterson's friends and family said they plan on attending but may not be able to make it because they think they might have something planned that Friday--they're not sure.

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Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your F-ing Shows...

Got a show, we wanna know! Stand-up, improv, play, two guys making love to a cantaloupe on the steps of the Jefferson Memorial, if its funny, give us the 4-1-1 and we'll post it--we might even give you a number to give to the two fruit fornicators.

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Washington Improv Theater's Summer Brew

From light to dark, lager to stout, WIT's got a refreshing summer taste that'll quench your improv thirst in whatever way your palate desires.

With sixteen different offerings on tap, you can peruse the menu for an old favorite or just play spin the bottle. Any way you drink it, you won't go away unsatisfied.
If you come on down to our beer garden (Flashpoint) and get a skunk, just belly up to the bar at the end of the night and ask for another one on the house... we'll get you a fresh round of shows or tear up your tab. That's the WIT Summer Brew Quality Guarantee - if you don't like it, the show is free!
So come on down and enjoy a tall one. Nothing says summer like an ice-cold brew.

Caveat
SA 6.21 FR 6.27 SA 7.5 TH 7.10 FR 7.11
"Taste the golden spray..."[ more ]

Jackie's The Fly
FR 6.20 FR 6.27 SA 6.28 FR 7.11 SA 7.12
"Slow-brewed, immediate buzz..."[ more ]

JINX's Close Quarters
SA 6.21 SA 6.28 SA 7.5 SA 7.12
"Strong enough to make you forget all your troubles..."[ more ]

onesixtyone
FR 6.20 SA 6.21 SA 6.28 TH 7.3 SA 7.5
"A volatile blend of ingredients that might taste sweet now, but will likely turn on you..."[ more ]

Season Six
FR 6.20 SA 6.21 FR 6.27 FR 7.11
"A Season Six pack of refreshment..."[ more ]

Polygamy
FR 6.27
"The perfect marriage between hops, barley, and wheat - equally. Voted #1 family beer..."[ more ]

Superbest
FR 6.20 SA 6.28
"The one to have when you're pownding more than one..."[ more ]

Improv Jam
SA 6.21 SA 6.28 SA 7.5 SA 7.12
"A wicked homebrew with crisp, unexpected blend of flavors..."[ more ]

Vic Speedboat
TH 6.19 SA 6.28 SA 7.12
"Cheap, but we get the job done..." [ more ]

Anything to Declare
SA 6.21 TH 6.26
"After a night with us, you'll be speaking a different language..."[ more ]

Deuce
TH 6.19 SA 7.5 FR 7.11
"Heady empty calories guaranteed to knock you on your ass and bring you back for more..."[ more ]

Donna Martin Graduates
SA 7.5 TH 7.10
"A reliable light domestic that's best enjoyed out of a brown bag in the faculty parking lot after school..."[ more ]

The Lodge
TH 6.19 TH 7.10
"A suspiciously dark brew, starts off smooth but leaves a bitter after taste... of conspiracy..."[ more ]

The Quest Explores the Secrets of the Universe
TH 6.26 TH 7.3
"Heady and frothy..."[ more ]

Rehaberwocky
"TH 6.26 TH 7.3
"A non-alcoholic brew that still has a sense of humor..."[ more ]

Guest Troupe: Tongue & Groove
SA 7.12
"The crisp, real taste of truth..."[ more ]

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Worlds Within Worlds

I visited a few different planets in a completely different solar system over the later part of the week via a gig with Nike 6.0 producing and hosting web content for the AST Mountain Dew Tour. It was a mission that came via the wire through the head WIT operative at station Flashpoint. I sent a transmission to the host of the assignment, saying that while I was interested in the execution of described target, I would need more info. There was a brief meeting where I met the entire 6.0 unit to go over the task at hand. I took it. I honestly wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into, but I was feeling the call of the Force, and I took the assignment because of the tactical expertise needed and the possible generous bounty. But I knew what I was in for; I was headed for the Floating Palaces of Charm City, home territory, to the Archfiend Overlord, Peter Angelos.

My operation was to do character work for website propaganda under the veil of "promotional content via coverage of said event". I loaded up appropriate disguises, recording devices, bartering and monetary pieces, and headed into my black Pod Stormer last Friday at approximately 8 hours before sundown. I headed North-east for what I trusted to be a grueling execution of inconspicuous adaptation under highly capricious and extremely foreign conditions. As I left the District Galaxy and headed through the ever turbulent Asteroid Beltway into the Floating Palaces of Charm City (Baltimore, Maryland in the Hitchhiker’s Guide), Garmin, my trusty but often mischievous smart-Alec navigator brought me safely into my destination module at M&T Bank Stadium (where I learned that around the beginning of autumn, intergalactic fugitives fight on the customary day of rest for their penance and pardons in the fickle space courts of public opinion).

I found Charm City to hospitable, despite its reputation for a history of sexual pandemics, an uber-Soma like narcotic “heroin”, and the well known interstellar fact that it is the home of Archfiend Overlord Peter Angelos. He is the evil litigious ruler who has enslaved the very popular and peaceful Oriole populace, a birdlike people who have inhabited the land since their initial pilgrimage from St. Louis in 1955. The Oriole people were welcomed with open arms and have enjoyed a very symbiotic relationship with the citizenry of Charm City until Angelos made his way into the nesting grounds. At first he came promising hope and delivered during a short period of time before his internal urges finally took over—now his primary concern is to take in the profits of the Bird people while having sex with them and anyone who is associated with the populace. It is rumored that sexual intercourse through the anal canal is the only way that he can stay sexually stimulated.

The Arch Angelos wooed the people of Charm City in a triumphant battle over the black entity Asbestos, gaining their trust, only to use it against them. He easily crushed a small locally organized phalanx with his powerful whale-sized jowls during, what is now known as, “The Great Face Plant of ‘93” (this event originated the term “face plant” and Angleos has since erected the “Power Plant” on the Harbor its honor). This was the kind of scouting report that early on in my comedic mercenary career that would have had me passing on the offer. Further heightening the stakes was the fact that I would be landing in the very athletic combine owned by Arch Angelos, the Camden Yards Sports Complex. If my reconnaissance was correct, as soon as I would exit my transport Pod Stormer, I would be hounded by Angelo’s grifters and cunning sirens who would try to lure me in with promises of fulfilling fantastical lurid fantasies, only to find myself later enslaved in a giant crotch-less bird suit bent over inside an Angelos skybox, face pressed up against the glass for the better part of 7 innings while being mounted and mocked by Angelos and his demented silk suited minions. The thought alone, prompted me to bring along cyanide capsules just in case I was overpowered in the parking lot.

Upon exiting the Pod Stormer, I took heed of other reports I received about the area and despite his protests, I hid Garmin on the floorboard underneath his protective sheath and out of the view of possible nomadic thieves. But I noticed right off hand that there were some incongruities in my recon from Intel. I was not met by con-artists or narcotic induced sex workers, but instead by helpful attendants, pleasant “hellos” along the skywalk from a multiple of species, and I had an intuitive sense that security was working for the event and not for Angelos. I was surprised by this benevolence and hospitable attitude of the people of Bird land. Yet, I kept a healthy air of caution as I trusted that those Jumbotron screens set about the area were more likely two-sided mirrors with Angelos on just the other-side.

Though I felt far from home, I could always be comforted by what other Merc-colleagues would call a “Death Blossom” of corporate logos from my home planet. It was the Mountain Dew tour but apparently there is some sort of collective enterprise going on with the people of Wendys, Panasonic, Playstation and X-Balm (an extreme lip moisturizer, I think for the intergalactic voyager that expects to be doing most of their footwork on the surface of the sun). Even the communication network NBC, a supposed benevolent system in mainstream attitudes throughout many galaxies, but one that I still hold suspect, they seemed to be flaunting the fact that the very action that was taking place, they owned the rights to; it was very Angelosonian. Our paths, NBC and my own, would collide later on, in an event that put my internal alert status into “Operation Critical”.

However, he was not to be outdone on his own turf, Angelos’ puppet network, MASN, was covering the event as well. However, I think most of their “work” was a façade acting as an extension for his secret police to contain the boarders of Bird Land so that their citizens could not use the cover of the event as a means of escape. It really gave me a sense of what it must be like to travail across the dessert moon rock that is North Korea.

It was a bit disgruntling at times, as sometimes these assignments can act as a vacation away from my home territory but everywhere I walked and surveyed, it was carnival of sorts for these vast commercial enterprises, but I really couldn’t say much, as I was a hired gun for one of the biggest corporate assault teams going and my job was just getting started…

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