Brutal Honesty from a Comedy Booker

With so many shows popping up, you might be asking yourself how to get booked on them. I've put together some helpful advice from comedians here and there who run shows of the "back of a bar" ilk that may help you when deciding the best way to approach a booker about getting some stage time. I can only assume that the exact opposite approach is what would be needed to get booked in clubs.

John McBride (The Bomb Shelter, Classic American Comedy):
"If you want to be booked, you need to be out. Be out everywhere, so people see you. How are folks supposed to book you if they don't know who you are? Also be funny on stage and don't try so hard to be funny off stage, in terms of booking nobody cares if you are funny off stage. Be yourself."

Peter Kassnove (The Comedy Clubhouse @ Telephone Bar in NYC):
"Showing up to the show is a lot better then just contacting someone for spots. It makes a much better impression on the bookers, at least in my experience. Plus, you may want to stick around for the show. It really bugs me when someone stops by, asks about a spot, then makes a bee line to the door when they realize that they aren't getting any time on that show."

Greg Johnson (The Greg Johnson and Larry Murphy Show @ Rififi in NYC):
"I feel like I need to have seen someone's act before they get booked. So if you're uncertain as to whether or not someone's seen your act, make sure you shove it down their throats with a tape or a list of shows they could go to. Mailing out "reels" and things isn't really necessary, but It's confusing to be begged for stage time by someone I've never even seen. Show the person something funny you've done..."

(more advice from Jake Young, Tyler Sonnichsen, Barry Rothbart, Jay Hastings and Nick Turner after the jump)

Jay Hastings(DC Improv Comedy Showcase, The Bomb Shelter):
"Much like any other job your trying to obtain, it helps to have a friends recommendation."

"When a booker says "tight and professional", it means NO RIFFING and NO CROWD WORK! That doesn't tell me anything about your act. Also, don't be blatantly filthy."

Barry Rothbart(Village Ma in NYC):
"You should not try to pander or be funny when first approaching a booker. It's a sure sign of being amateur when you come off "trying" to be funny in conversation to a booker, it's usually best to get to the point and be straight forward about asking for a spot. It seems like you are a professional and have been around the block more often. Because they usually know the motives when a new comic tries to interact with them."

"Make sure to not go over your time the first time you do a spot."

Nick Turner(Top Shelf):
"It helps to come out and watch and say hi. Bookers are eternally grateful to anyone who supports the show."

"Also, it helps to be ready before you start asking for these spots. Generally people want you to have been doing open-mics for a year or so at least."

Jake Young(The Awesome Room):
"You have to have a concrete purpose for a booker. If you fill a niche, or are a consistent host/close, or you bring in a crowd because you're new and have friends, these are reasons that outweigh the simple "funny enough" requirement."

Tyler Sonnichsen(Laughing Lizard):
"I just like a good balance of confidence and courtesy. I want you to be able to handle an audience with a high bar set, but also don't be a dick. Bring energy, and don't belittle the room or the establishment."


-Leave more tips in the comments...
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DC Comedy Festival "Audtion Showcase" at The DC Improv

The dccomedyfest is entering its fourth year and we're looking for the best comedy standup from DC and throughout North America.

"A select group of DC's most hilarious stand up comedians will perform on a special audition showcase Saturday, April 12. This great roster of performers will be auditioning for an opportunity to be at the New Talent Industry Showcase during dccomedyfest (Thursday, Aug 7) at the DC Improv for talent scouts from The Tonight Show, Chelsea Lately, networks, agents and more! But performers will also be considered for other slots in the festival, including Feature Shows and other special performance opportunities."

The Line-Up for the Show features:
Jason Weems
Aparna Nancherla
Jay Hastings
Bryson Turner
Kojo Mante
Nick Turner
Larry Poon
John McBride
Tim Miller
Hampton Yount

When: April 12th, @ 8:00 pm
Where: DC Improv Comedy Lounge
Tickets: $10
Website: http://www.symfonee.com/improv/dc/home/Index.aspx

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The Bomb Shelter...It's BACK!!!

Hello Libertines of The District of Columbia, the mighty Bomb Shelter is BACK IN ACTION at the Adams Morgan watering hole, 18th & Red. The show had been on a long vacation due to the writers strike (not true). But, the important thing is that we are back and better than EVER! Due to customers calling in and demanding the comedy show come back, the management is allowing us to bring the full force of The Bomb Shelter back, and bring it back UPSTAIRS! This is huge. We'll once again have our own performance space, free from bar noise and unfortunately; the hot bartender. Please mark you calanders for the return of The Bomb Shelter this Thursday, March 6th, @ 9pm. It's going to be a great show.

The Line-Up:
John McBride
Mike Way
Nick Turner
Jake Young
Bryson Turner
and hosted by: Jay Hastings

Check out the "Comedy Matters" clip:


[don''t click it; skip it]

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Check out Tim Miller's NEW SHOW!!!

Everyone, TIM MILLER is doing some GREAT NEW things and we should all support him. Tim, you're a couragous young man. BRAVO!!

Fast, funny and furious, Tim Miller’s new show Us ricochets between Miller’s love affair since childhood with Broadway musicals to an exploration of gay marriage, exile and the injustices lesbian and gay people face in the United States. Nominated for a 2005 New York Drama Desk Award for Best Solo performance, Us takes us on a whirlwind journey that re-thinks the American Musical as inspiration for radical politics and queer identity. "As a rallying cry for gay rights, Tim Miller's "Us'' contains a sweet-spirited, honest and seriously funny commentary on the power of popular art to shape people's moral, social and sexual development. Miller is, as always, a frisky and charismatic performer (New York Times)."

WHEN: TONIGHT!

WHERE:
Dance Place
3225 8th Street, NE
Washington, D.C., District of Columbia 20017

WEBSITE: www.danceplace.org

TICKETS: $22 general admission; $17 members, students, teachers (PreK-12), professional artists & seniors; $8 for children 17 & under – unless noted otherwise.

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The Purpose Driven Comedy Show

This past Christmas was the first time I got to utilize my comedy as a form of charity. Granted, comedy is a lot like beauty and the beholder is the final judge of how "charitable" my act was. But, it was such a rewarding feeling. It was the first time that I had contributed something notable to a charity, and it paid me back ten fold. I don't' write this in order to make myself look benevolent or magnanimous, but rather to share in the awesome experience that comes from giving back to another human being from doing something you love. It's a win-win situation.

[Do some good in your life! HIT THE JUMP!]

My friend and DC Comedy: 4 Then comic Rory Scovel hosted a comedy show in our hometown of Greenville, South Carolina that benefited local charity Clement's Kindness. It was hands down the best thing I've done. We were able to raise a good amount of money (for two struggling comedians that is) for the Charity and I can't wait to do something like that in DC. It really really made me think how powerful the sense of humor can be. (And yes, this is a very, very sappy blog.)

This weekend I have the opportunity to perform for a charity event for the Military. I'm actually a little nervous. I don't really have any "military" material and since it is for the troops, I really want to do well. It's one thing to bomb in front of a paying audience and then to bomb in front of the defenders of freedom. I sorta feel like I owe them something, because I'm not fighting. I am not cut from that cloth. I'm a coward. I'm a comic.

Last night I talked to my dad (former Air Force Sgt. Major) about how in the world I could connect with these people. I needed a good ice breaker. I want these people to have a really good time and to not regret their decision of booking me and my friends. The more I prepare the more realized I get. I'm sure the show will go well and that the people will be appreciative no matter what. I'll post another blog about it next week.

Also, I'd love to hear about other opportunities for charity work that involves comedy. With so many organizations in and around the DC area, I'm sure there are opportunities just waiting for a good bunch of comics to snatch them up.
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DC Improv Showcase....and the winner is?

Congratulations to Mr. Marcus Brown for winning the DC Improv's showcase on Tuesday. Marcus crushed the nearly sold out crowd who also enjoyed John Conroy, Phil Mause, Eli Sairs, Joyce Rebar and Keith Irvin. This was easily the best showcase that the Improv has held in quite sometime, hosted by DCC4N favorite Jon Mumma. Jon was aggressive and a little angry, with a flair that people usually don't get to see. On to the guest sets. First up was previous showcase winner Hampton Yount. Always a pleasure, he closed strong on a tear-inducing bit about the Porn Awards. Then the club was treated to a very special treat when national headliner Jim Short stopped by to perform the final set of the night. It's interesting to see the difference in local up & comers compared to the highly-polished Short. (don't die before you're able to hear his joke about werewolves) So, that is the update on that shiz-nit, I'm gonna go bang my head against a tree.

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Barack The Vote Today!

Since today is the Chesa-Potomac-Crab Cake Primary I thought a little comedic political blog/video in support of Mr. Obama would be lovely. So make sure you Rock the Vote, Be Counted, Make Your Voice Heard, Waste a Vote On Nader, Punch a Chad, and Have Your Brother Fix the Election...whatever it is you do, DO IT!

Man, that's the best political advice I've ever given. Or, you can stay in today because it is really cold.

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DC Comedy Spotlight: Blaire Postman & The DC Comedy Fetsival

Do you want to be in the 2008 DC Comedy Festival? Would you like to perform in front of sold out crowds, filled with audience members who are smart and enjoy comedy? I'm willing to bet you do. Why wouldn't you? The DC Comedy Festival provides just that. It is a great event that allows national, regional, and more importantly local comedians the chance to showcase their comic abilities. There are so many different types of shows. From the smaller Comedy Jam, to the packed theater shows, to the Tonight Show and Letterman Auditions. It's an amazing opportunity for all comics, of all levels.

[hit the jump for more on Blaire, this year's festival and how you can be a part of it!]

The DC Comedy Festival is going into its 4th year and it just keeps getting better and better. The venues have gotten bigger (next year they’ll include THE BLACK CAT and THE DC IMPROV), the crowds have gotten bigger, and the number of comics have grown as well. But the more important thing is that the quality of the festival has improved. With such talented comics from the improv, sketch, and stand-up fields being invited to perform at the festival. Sketch and Improv groups such as "The Annoyance Theatre’s President Bush is a Great Man", "Bassprov", "Elephant Larry", WIT's "Dr. Fantastic" and "iMusical". Stand-up acts have included national headliners like Daniel Tosh, TJ Miller, Demetri Martin, and Rob Cantrell. Local comics such as Rory Scovel, Ryan Conner, Jay Hastings, Kojo Mante, Sean Gabbert, Chris White, and Jon Mumma have all been featured comedians.

Along with success comes added responsibilities. The festival doesn't just run itself. Blaire Postman is the woman who created the festival and runs the festival. The festivals have been so successful due to a lot of hard work by Blaire and all of the wonderful volunteers who have pitched in with the festival. Volunteers are what truly make the DC Comedy Festival a success. Having people who care about the well being of comedy, and want to have a great, local comedy scene is so important.

Ask not what your comedy festival can do for you, but what YOU can do for your comedy festival. That is the question at hand. Blaire needs help. A comedy festival needs to be promoted, sponsored, marketed, handle submission tapes, book hotel rooms, and schedule the events. That is just a quick overview of some of the responsibilities that go along with running a festival.

Now working from New York 4-5 days a week as a manager and live event producer, Blaire needs additional help this year to pull things off.

The festival has been pushed back from it's original April time slot, in order to replace the past sketch/improve venues (Warehouse Theater is closing), to include new high-profile venues and to pull in some association with the upcoming election for a few politically themed shows (yes, a shameless attempt to court more PR).

If you would like to be apart of something bigger than yourself, and comedy speaks to you, then this is an awesome opportunity to become apart of something great. You can help in so many ways. From making t-shirts to handing passes, there is something for everyone to do. And it doesn't have to consume your life, or take up all your time. Just a few hours a week, and you could really make a big difference in the success of the DC Comedy Festival. That said, there are some larger positions (though still very part-time) for those interested, some with potential for commission based pay.

If you would like to contribute your time to a worthy, and noble cause then please contact Blaire Postman at:
blairep[at]dccomedygroup.com

You can also contact us here at dccomedy4now.
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A San Francisco Treat

On January 20th I embarked on a great comedy journey with three other fine DC comedians. Our destination was San Francisco. I was joined by Kojo Mante, Jason Weems, and Mike Way. This was to be our vision quest to see if indeed the grass was greener on the other side of the fence/country. It turns out that San Francisco doesn't have a lot of grass (unless it's medicinal! That was a pot joke.)

Our week was full of comedy performances and the most stereotypical touristy type bullshit. And I loved it. From performing at open mics and local showcases, to the 3 times we drove down Lombard Street, San Francisco treated us well. We were outsiders that were embraced like kindly, even though our hotel room constantly tried to vomit us out of the room. It was very tiny. If you slipped in the shower, you'd have fallen in the toilet. Plus, after my traveling mates ate 8 meals from Burger King, the room started to smell. Anyway, here is the break down of the comedy shows that we performed on. Click the link and enjoy!

Sunday night was our first show and we performed at an Italian restaurant called Figaro's. The "show room" was actually outside in covered tent area. It was by far the worst show that we did. The show itself I was told had potential, but with the conference championship football game one TV, the crowd was a little lite. The best part of the show was when the host of the show performed. It was 8 mins of a amazing. He brought a toy plane and a toy sheep on stage, and the rest is burned into my brain. Also, there was a very creepy old guy in the crowd who sketched all the comics on the show. I think he was one of those old gay guys who've watched Titanic too many times.

Monday was supposed to be a "showcase" show at Club Deluxe. But, when we arrived at the venue it turned out to be "Ladies Night", and I didn't pack my vagina so I didn't perform. However, we stuck around for the open mic that followed the show and we all did well.

Tuesday was the best show of the entire trip. The four of us split headlining time, and did about 15-20 mins each. The show was on the campus of Stanford University at a place called The 750 Pub. The booker of the show Mahlan Parker, was the nicest guy in the world and extremely kind to give us that amount of time without ever seeing us perform. We didn't let him down. I'd say there was close to a 100 students jammed into the place and we crushed. Everyone did so fucking great. It was awesome to get to a longer set in front of a really smart, young crowd.

Wednesday we went to Sunnyvale and performed at the comedy club Rooster T. Feathers. It was also a lite crowd, but I had a lot of fun on stage. There was a table full of cows sitting right up front and who loved to talk. As soon as I touched on the subject that one of them HAD to have been in an abusive relationship...well, I could clearly see I had hit close to home, much like their relationships. The black guy who went right before Kojo was awesomely bad. In the words of words of Jason Weems, "Kojo, you're gonna have to save the reputation of Black Comedy." Funny.

Thursday we went to the SF Punchline and saw Bill Burr. He actually remembered all of our faces (or so he lied) from the Improv in DC. He had an entire NEW HOUR of material. What a fucking machine. I had only heard one joke and that was his closer. The guy is so amazing at handling a crowd. I can't imagine how hard it is to carry around that credit of "being that comic who yelled at those retards in Philly" cause that seems to be what the ignorant masses want from him. And it's a fucking shame because he's so much more. He could make the reading of a Will funny. He handled 3 cunts properly, without yelling and giving them what they wanted. I think it should be acceptable to hit your woman in a comedy show if she can't get it through her thick skull, that no one gives a shit if she adopts puppies from the pound. THWACK!

The trip was a huge success in my book and really sparked a flame of interest in seeing more of America's comedy scenes. While we probably weren't performing in the best rooms, with the best comics, and the best crowds...we did get to share our comedy with a new town, and they welcomed us with loud laughter and that's the best feeling in the world. More importantly I made some great memories and took some amazing photographs with 3 of my good friends. The trip was good.

Quote of the Trip from a homeless hippie woman to a black guy with an afro: "Hey, man that's a great haircut man...that is awesome. I really dig your hair man...can I have your bagel?"
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Hero of the Decade: Curt Shackelford

When you think of a “hero”, you probably think: Firefighters, Cops, Military Men and Women, Doctors, and Teachers. Not me. My definition of “hero” is much looser and doesn’t play by Webster’s rules. That is why I have selected Curt Shackelford as my HERO of the DECADE (Curt, I’m available on January 30th for a set at Dr. Dremos)! A hero is someone who produces a product that leaves our society better off then how they found it. What has Curt Shakelford produced, you nay-sayers may ask? Curt is responsible for 87% of the laughter generated in Bethesda, MD on Saturday evenings. He would have 100% of the laughter, but there is a trick shot golfer who really hams it up for the country club types. But, that’s not really important….FORE!!!

To read more about this GREAT man...click the motherfuckin' link!

Curt has also produced some of the greatest comics that have ever come out of DC. (Curt, I’m also available to feature at the Hyatt on Feb 9th) No, he did not create Dave Chappelle, Lewis Black, Wanda Sikes, or Martin Lawrence. He’s not god. However, he is very clean which is super close to godly. But, who cares about Dave Chappelle, when you’ve got Rory Scovel, Ryan Conner, Justin Schlegel, Jon Mumma, Danny Rouhier, and Dawn McClear. That’s right…HE CREATED THEM!!! (Curt, I can’t do FEB 16th because I’ll be performing at the DC Improv that night) Curt’s natural ability to recognize raw talent (without it hitting him in the face) is second to few. When Rory wrote a fantastic joke…Curt was there. When Ryan gave his personal insight to a social issue…Curt was there. When Danny made a funny voice...actually, that was Curt. Anyway, the point being is that without Curt, where would the DC Comedy Scene be? (Curt, I’m also available as of now, the entire month of March) I don’t want to think about where this scene would be without the likes of Mr. Greg Estrada.

The venues that Curt created helped advanced the “chosen” talent very, very, very quickly. Dr. Dremo’s on Wednesday and Topaz on Thursday night; the Big 3 were there; practicing and getting better. New comics also flourished, as long as their friends didn’t have to work late. You got to hand it to old Curt…Dr. Dremo’s was the best open mic in America for as long as I remember. That’s right…AMERICA. Can anyone else tell me where you’ll regularly find over 100 people at an open mic? (Seriously, my March is WIDE open Curt. You do know that I am actually funny, right? I’m not Dave George funny…but I’m trying.)

So, for all the ups and downs we’ve had along the way we all really do owe Curt a great big, “Thank You”. No matter if you’re a Rory Scovel, Hampton Yount, or some horrible, piece of shit new comic who doesn’t deserve any stage time, or if you’re a veteran who has put in their time, argued and fought with Curt, kissed made up, and still NEVER get booked….we still all owe him at least a “thank you”. So, THANK YOU CURT! (Also, the entire month of April is wide fucking open for a Hyatt show.)

In closing I would just like to say that without Curt Shakelford I would not have had the fast start to my comedy career in DC. He put me up often and allowed me to perform in great rooms like Dr. Dremos. I’m very sad to see that place go. It’s where I cut my teeth. It’s where I shed my fear of the stage and it’s where I smoked a lot of pot and drank a lot of beers. I’m sad I won’t be performing there again, but when God closes a window, he always leaves a door unlocked for a sexual predator.

Thanks Curt.


***Sorry it took me so long to write this blog, but I wrote the entire thing backhanded.***

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4 Then Interview: Ryan Conner

Have you ever thought: What has Ryan Conner been doing since he was last in DC, crushing at Poonanza 5? I asked myself that question and then I asked Ryan. That is how I do. Enjoy!

Since leaving DC for the dream of being a famous comic in New York City, Ryan Conner has performed at such notorious clubs as The Comedy Cellar, Caroline's and Comix. He can also be heard regularly on XM radio.

Ryan returns to DC this weekend to feature for Dennis Regan (Thursday, Saturday and Sunday Nights) @ The DC Improv.

Also, Crucial Element, a fake rap group that he is in will be performing at DC9 with Larry Poon and Jimes. Get tickets on the DC9 site. They're only $8.

What have you done since leaving DC?

Hm. I got a new iPod, an 80GB. It was a huge upgrade from a Generation 4 iPod. It's not technically HD, but it looks close enough to me. I'm also on the verge of becoming "very good" at guitar, after being "pretty good" for a while. I can do more pull-ups than I've ever done in my life. In middle-school and high-school, I would have got the Presidential Physical Fitness t-shirt every year, if I could do more pull-ups. I think I only go the shirt once, or maybe twice.

[Hit the jump for the rest of Ryan's interview, plus a video!]

How long were you performing in DC and what were your favorite rooms?

I performed in DC for three years before moving to DC. Aside from the Improv, my favorite room was Dr. Dremos. Every Wednesday, for well over a year, it would have a packed crowd that was ready for comedy. Topaz was either really good or really shitty each week. I had the same routine for both shows. I would go to Rory's house to hang out for a while before going to the shows. When I arrived at his house, he would either be jerking off in his room, or trying to make me think he was jerking off. About once per week, he would try to trick me into looking at his mangina. He only got me once. Those were erotic days. Anyway, Curt Shackleford's rooms (Dremos, Topaz, Shula's and Comedy Spot) were Crucial Elements (marketing) in my development.

This is going to sound crazy, as I think I'm the only person who would say this, but I really liked Murky Coffee in Arlington. It was a coffee shop open mic, run by Paula Dellert. The crowds were small, but attentive.

Soho was great for two years. And for the last year I was there, I had to be talked out of killing myself every time I left that place.

When did you decide it was time to move?

I didn't really have a choice. Someone referred me for an audition at the Comedy Cellar. A couple weeks before the audition, I got lucky and the GM of Caroline's saw me and passed me. Then I went for my Cellar audition, probably more nervous than I was before my first show, and had a strong set. Seconds later, I was told I passed the audition, and that I could start calling in my avails. That changed everything. If you pass the Cellar when you've only been doing comedy for two years, you move and figure everything else out. I was unable to actually live in NYC until Feb 07, but I called in my avails at the Cellar every week as if I lived in NYC starting in Feb 06. I drove to NYC for 15 minute sets each week until I moved.

How did your time in DC prepare you for performing in a bigger market?

There's industry in NYC. DC doesn't prepare you for industry sets, which are short and cheesy. DC prepares you to be a good, original comic, which I think is more important than doing a killer 7 and getting TV credits left and right, which is what NYC and LA prepare you for. But I don't look at NYC as a bigger market. A show is a show. It doesn't matter what the city is, or how many people are in the crowd. Sure, some shows are great, and some suck. But most are just shows. You just do your thing regardless of the circumstances. To quote Magic Johnson, and I think DCComedy4Now is due for a good Magic Johnson quote, "Basketball is basketball." And while we're at it. "Everything is everything." -Lauren Hill

What are you now able to do that you couldn't do in DC?

I can spend two hours traveling as little as three miles. That's the walking speed of an old, fat person. It's also the speed of a car in NYC, and public transportation. Greatest city on earth. I also have the privilege of going outside, closing my eyes, inhaling and thinking that I'm in a landfill, or a piss garden. Other things? Let's see... I'm able to allow complete strangers be a complete asshole to me for no reason. Oh yeah, I get to park a little over a mile from my apartment too. Parking over a mile from my apartment is my favorite.

Pizza is good.

And performing at the Comedy Cellar is great. Performing at other places is very good.

What do you miss most about DC?

I miss being able to determine my own comedy schedule. In NYC, I'm at the bottom of the food chain. So, I take whatever shows people can give me. Sometimes, people don't have shows to give me. In DC, everyone who runs shows has been very good to me and given me stage time whenever I'm around. Also, I really enjoy hanging out with comics in DC. Many DC comics are some of my closest friends. In NYC, it rarely feels like you're hanging out with people. It usually feels like people are networking. Not always the case, but often. While I'm mentioning NYC comedy, here are some comics there who I find funny, who you might not know about (in the order in which I type them): Kurt Metzger, Kevin Williams, Sean O'Connor, Jeremy Schachter, Vince Averill, Jesse Popp, Gabe and Jenny, Craig Baldo, and other people.

Word to your mothers.


A few jokes (early versions)

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Jay's 2007 Comedy Year In Review

I hated to see 2007 go, but I love watching 2008 walk my way. The waning months and days of 2007 treated me very kindly. I had a lot of quality shows, I wrote some good jokes, and raised some money for cancer through comedy. (yeah, I am a generous, humble person who doesn’t do things for recognition.) 2007 marked my second anniversary in comedy. I had more shows in 2007. I traveled more in 2007 for comedy. I met more comedians and became friends with more comics in 2007. My mom got cancer in 2007. I made $78,000 doing comedy in 2007. Guess which one was the only downer in 2007? And guess which one I just lied about. Anyway, for the most part 2007 was a benevolent year that smoothly transitioned me through another year of my life. There was some downs, but mostly there were ups. I’d like to tell you a little bit about both. Hold on tight cause The Ghost of 2007 Past is warming up his story-telling voice.

[Hit the jump, sons!]

FEB 1 – 3: Rory Scovel and myself performed together at the Baltimore Comedy Factory. It was a good time and I remember performing stoned the last night, just to see if I could do it. I did it and it was super duper fun balls. (I don’t do that very often, but it was fun)

FEB 28th: Performed a guest set at American University for the DC Improv’s Funniest College Student Competition. Imagine performing comedy in front of retarded kids in a glitter factory. It was not fun, but it was made fun by watching Jon Mumma yell at the stupid college kids. Hilarious!

March 1st: Performed at the Arlington Cinema Drafthouse. I ate a MONSTER of a cock. I shit the stage. It was awful.

MARCH 3rd: Saw Zach Galifianakis at Lisner Auditorium with Rob Cantrell. It was great!

MARCH 26 – 28: Rory Scovel and I got booked to perform down in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina at the Hilton Resort. They gave us each our own $500 a night suite. The downside was that there was no one in the audience with a properly functioning prostate or a moist vagina. Hence, there were a lot of awkward moments. However, I got a blowjob that weekend and it was lovely.

APRIL: Had a smattering of shows that did not really put a wrinkle in my brain. I do remember performing at Georgetown University and there being a very hot Asian girl in the crowd. Also, the DC Comedy Festival happened. I met a lot of comics from Canada.

MAY: I got into a fight with Curt Shakelford via email and got banned from ALL of his shows. Boy, did I get a good laugh out of that. Also, I didn’t loose ANY stage time.

JUNE: My sister got married and my mom got cancer. YAY then BOO!!!

JULY 20 – 21: Justin Schlegel, Jon Mumma, and myself performed at Riot Act Comedy “Club”. John X the owner stiffed me on my pay quoting, “I don’t pay emcees”. He also shorted Mumma on his pay, only to pay him the full amount months later. He also tossed me $50 for my 4 show effort. THANKS JOHN!!!

AUG 3 – 4: Rory Scovel and I sold out The Warehouse Theater in Greenville, South Carolina. It was an amazing show. Then on the 4th we played J.C. Fiddlers, which is a little hole in the wall bar. It was not great. No air conditioning, plus warm beer = shitty time for audience and short attention spans. They did not care for us.

SEPT: Nothing really happened. I taped a thing for Comcast, but who doesn’t get picked to do that show?

OCT: I got to open one show at the DC Improv for Daniel Tosh because Tim Miller had some car issues which caused him to be late. Thank you Tim’s shitty old car!

NOV 9th: I got to perform in Norman, Oklahoma. I got to open up for my friends rock band “Galapagos” and it was a blast. I got heckled during my last joke and I burned him down. He just kept saying, “You ain’t funny!” After the show he told me, “Jesus don’t like to be made fun of, and I don’t like you makin’ fun of Jesus. Dat type-a thang can get yo ass kicked!” Then he pushed me. What a faggot. BOMMER SOONER!!

DEC: This month was CRAZY! First we kicked off with Rory Scovel’s DVD taping at Dr Dremos. Kojo Mante, Jon Mumma, and myself were “special guests”, because otherwise Curt would never have Kojo and I on a show. Next up we had POONANZA 5! That show kicked ass. I once again took my clothes off and embarrassed my families good name. Then Justin Schlegel, Jon Mumma, and I rocked the Arlington Cinema Drafthouse. It was a really fun show. Then Rory Scovel and I went back down to South Carolina for our annual Christmas Show. We selected a charity to donate 50% of ticket sales to. The charity was Clement’s Kindness and it goes to help families with children with cancer. That show was the best performance I’ve done and it might just be the best thing I’ve ever done. It feels good to give something to anyone. And once again Justin Schlegel, Jon Mumma, and myself performed New Years Eve weekend at the Baltimore Comedy Factory. We destroyed that fucking place. From Thursday – Saturday ( 7 SHOWS ) we CRUSHED! It was a blast.

So, that was the highlights of my 2007. I hope you enjoyed it and learned something. I know I did.

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Main Event Interview: Ted Alexandro

Ted Alexandro will be making his way back to the DC Improv, December 18th - 22nd. We here at DC Comedy: 4 Now thought that it would be a fantastic idea to speak with Ted and pick his brain about his beginings in comedy, writing, alternative venues, and his comedy influences. Don't forget to check out Ted while he's at the DC Improv all this week. Let's read this DC!

[Hit the jump for Ted's interview!]

*When did you realize that you wanted to do comedy?

In college I was in a sketch comedy show and a couple of sketches that I wrote made it into the show. It was a real revelation for me that something I wrote could make an audience laugh and that was the seminal moment for my comedy career. From there I did a two man act with a friend of mine and later went solo. So I basically kept whittling down until it was just me up there.

*Who were some of your earliest influences?

My parents had a few comedy albums in their collection and they had good taste, so I was fortunate enough to be exposed to Woody Allen, Steve Martin, Bill Cosby, George Carlin and Flip Wilson from an early age. These were some of the first comedians who I was drawn to but my early influences were actually not professional comedians, just really funny people- family or friends- who I enjoyed being around. Laughter and making people laugh was important to me even as a kid.


-What about them captivated you?

I was captivated by comedians because, when you listen to those old comedy albums, you get a real sense of the power of the comedian. There is such a specific and powerful relationship between comedian and audience, and it was like listening in on another world, an adult world that seemed to be a lot of fun.
As for the ordinary funny people in my life, the thing about them that captivated me was their sense of fun and how humor made everyday life a lot of fun. When I was a kid, so many adults seemed miserable to me but the people who were joking around had a lightness to their spirit and seemed happier. That definitely made an impression on me. I didn't want the fun to stop when I became an adult.


*Where did you first perform?

The first time I ever performed comedy was at a local church talent show. Not the best comedy environment when there are priests and nuns scattered among the crowd but from what I remember it was adequate. I didn't totally bomb, which was enough to make me want to do it again.


*What was your first paid gig?

-How long had you been doing stand-up at that point?

My first paid gig was after I had been performing for about a year. I got hired to open up for Marc Price who played Skippy on "Family Ties". He actually didn't show up so some other guy headlined but it was still exciting for me. I had loads of friends and family there. Whether they had come out to see Skippy or me, I don't know. But they were there and it was great to join the ranks of the professionals.


*Do you prefer to write on or off stage?

I definitely do almost all of my writing off stage. I spend a couple of hours a day writing, usually about four or five days a week when I'm disciplined. I need that time to come up with ideas that would not occur to me off the cuff. Sitting down and writing enables me to go beyond the first or second idea, beyond the obvious to something better. I will tweak ideas or change lines on stage but for the most part my material is written off stage.


*Do you enjoy the process of writing?

I love writing. It can be maddening and frustrating at times- I've heard it compared to the birthing process. You struggle and kick and scream but if a funny joke comes into the world, it is worth it. I love that the writing side is solitary and quiet and then you take ideas that were hatched in solitude and bring them to the masses in a noisy club or theater. It's really quite bizarre.

*As a veteran comic who can play at any club he chooses, what merit is there to performing at alternative venues like Riffi?

I enjoy performing in as many types of venues and in front of as many different types of crowds as possible. I think it makes me a better, more well rounded comedian. Smaller alternative rooms like Rififi give me a chance to explore some ideas or longer bits that I might be reluctant to do in a mainstream club. And the cool thing is, sometimes after I develop an idea in an alternative room I find that I actually can do it in mainstream clubs, too. A lot of the barriers that comics put up in their own minds regarding what material works where, and I've been guilty of it, are actually just impediments to growing as a performer. I don't necessarily change what I do drastically from club to club. I do make slight adjustments, but you're basically presenting yourself- that is the foundation and that remains constant.



*You were instrumental in starting the New York Comedians CoalitionI haven't heard anything about the "comic's union" in over a year, did you guys accomplish your mission or are there more injustices to fight.


The NY Comedians Coalition is still alive and well. We raised the pay for comedians and accomplished the bigger goal of unifying the community of comics in NY and reminding them of the power of a unified voice.
The Coalition was not simply about money, it was about comedians having a voice and having a community of support, and that is still alive and well. We haven't assembled of late but if an issue came about that needed to be addressed we could assemble three hundred comedians pretty quickly.

*What about performing live do you enjoy?

I love making people laugh. There is something unique and beautiful about the relationship between a comedian and the audience. There's nothing else like it in any other field of the arts. I also enjoy testing myself, trying to grow and evolve as a person and a performer, which go hand in hand.


-Do you ever want to convey a message?

Any message that is conveyed is incidental and secondary to making people laugh. Every joke I do stays in the act because it's funny, not because it conveys a message. That said, I write about things that are on my mind and things that interest me so there is an inherent point of view but I never want that to get in the way of funny.


*What's hacky to you?

Hacky to me is lazy, unoriginal comedy that has me walking out of the room within ten seconds. It doesn't have to be a joke that I've heard verbatim; it could be a premise or a topic that has been mined a million times in the same way. It's that "Okay, here we go" feeling, where you know exactly what's coming.


*What is your day job?

I don't have a day job. I used to be an elementary school music teacher when I first graduated college in '94 but I left teaching about eight or nine years ago when comedy started paying the bills.


*Were your parents supportive of you doing comedy?

Yes, my parents have always been incredibly supportive, which I'm so appreciative of. They come to my shows a few times a year and they did even in the early days. I think my Dad thinks he's my manager. He's always thinking of ways to get me gigs and he carries around a tape of my Letterman set, just in case he runs into a TV executive.
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DC Comedy Gets Respect! The Onion Gives It...

Previously this blog reported the Onion AV Club was to come to The Bomb Shelter for research for "some kind of article." All we knew was that the show was packed and John McBride gave the longest interview of his life (he gets interviewed a lot). So with bated breath we waited to see what would become of The Bomb Shelter's brush with fame. Well it came today in the form of a a sweeping, half page article (In this business, a half page article IS "sweeping") mentioning more than a few shows and more quotes from superstars Seaton Smith and Erin Jackson and even mentions this blog and our very own Mr. Jay Hastings.

We have yet to find the article online but make sure to pick a copy before next Wednesday when it forever vanishes into the ether. Hopefully this article will put a few more people into the seats and give a boost to what truly is a dynamic, talented scene that is ready for a little more exposure. Let's do this, DC!

We have the article! Click to enlarge

Thanks to Suemedha Sood for shining the light! Read more!

Salute to Dr. Dremos: Comedy Showcase this Wednesday Night!!

For comics and patrons alike, Dr. Dremos in Arlington, VA has been a top spot to party at for many, many years. From their legendary (and now banned) Beer-Pong tables to their awesome downstairs lounge for comedy shows and music, Dr. Dremos will surely be missed after it is torn down for more F'ing condos in Feb '08. It really is a shame.

But, there is still time to catch great shows at Dr. Dremos before it closes and this Wednesday, December 5th marks one of the last opprotunities to do so.Rory Scovel, Jon Mumma , Kojo Mante, and Jay Hastings will be featured for a special Comedy Showcase & DVD taping. This show is going to be one of the finest Dr. Dremos has ever seen. Please come out to support live, local stand-up comedy and celebrate the kick-ass legacy of this one fine establishment.

To recap:
WHO:Rory Scovel, Jon Mumma, Kojo Mante, & Jay Hastings
WHAT:An amazing comedy show
WHEN:Wednesday, December 5th 2007 @ 8pm
WHERE:Dr Dremos, Arlington, VA

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Tonight....

DO IT!!!

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Hey, comics in the back...Shut the Fuck Up!!!

This past Saturday night I noticed something that has become increasingly annoying to me: comics talking in the back of the room. I can cut people
slack when it is an open mic or a large room where the whispers don't carry. We've all been guilty in that scenario. Unlike Saturday however, at an open mic there aren't normally cameras recording for television. Was this Lettermen or Leno? Most certainly not, but it was a TV spot for Comcast OnDemand. Is it a big deal? Probably not, but it's still nice to think that your material will be seen and heard by people watching TV. Treat it with some sort of respect, people.

So, why did a handful of comics run their fucking mouth during the whole fucking show? Maybe I've got sensitive ears and it was just loud to me. Wait, no it wasn't because other comics complained about it! Most every comic stood in the back, directly behind or next to the camera. What would make a person think, "This is the perfect place to whisper loudly about complete bullshit and distract people from enjoy a comic who I FUCKING KNOW!" If you want to talk, step outside. It is not only rude to the comics, but to the audience as well. It was jaw dropping to see a group of comics not give a fuck about the fact the cameras were rolling. More disturbing though is that noone really said anything. I was hosting the show and remembered "sooshing" people twice, but to no avail.

Did I want to watch every comic that was on the show that night? No. Did I have to because I was hosting it? Yes. I know how boring it is to watch the same comic do the same set over and over again. That's why if I don't have to stand in the back, I leave. I go talk to other people who are bored. I don't stand in the back and fucking talk. Why? Because I'm not rude and actually give a shit about other peoples performance...even if I don't like it.

And one more thing about the showcase: I was fucking amazing. Read more!

Comcast Showcase @ The DC Improv Comedy Lounge

Comcast brings its Comcastic Comedy Showcase back to the DC Improv's Comedy Lounge on November 24th @ 8:00pm. The first showcase was a awesome night of local, stand-up comedy and Saturday promises to be just as amazing.

The show will feature 11 of the best local working comics the greater DC metro area has to offer. Here is the line-up(in order from most fuckable [sorry Chris]): Mike Way, Jimmy Merritt, Freddi Vernell, Jared Stern, Tim Miller, Sean Gabbert, Matt Kazam, Jon Mumma, Justin Schlelgel, Joe Deeley, and Chris White. The showcase is hosted by Jay Hastings and he shouldn't suck. There are just a few tickets remaining for a lovely, intimate evening of great local comedy. Come out and check it out. Read more!

DC Improv Showcase Show

Tonight is the DC Improv's local talent showcase show. This is a monthly showcase, and tonights show is hosted by Ryan Conner. Tonights line-up is:

*JERMAINE FOWLER
*EVAN VALENTINE
*LANCE WEISS
*LAFAYETTE WRIGHT
*TAYLOR EDGAR

There will also be two guest sets at the end of the show from two previous showcase winners: Bryson Turner & Jake Young

This is what the future of DC comedy looks like, so come out and support the laughs (yep, that's the gayest thing I've ever typed). Read more!

Boomer Sooner!!! ( A Tornado of Jokes)

This past weekend was one for the Books. I had a show in Norman, Oklahoma and had a reunion with 5 of my closest friends on the face of the Earth. Needless to say that I don't remember a lot of it, but thanks to photos I have memories. I won't talk about my reunion, but I'll blog about the show. Here we go...

I was nervous to perform in Oklahoma. Not because I didn't have faith in my material, but because I didn't have any faith in my material in that time zone. I know my jokes kill in Washington, DC and South Carolina, but was clueless as to whatSooners might find funny. I arrived in Norman on Thursday afternoon and until showtime on Friday night my performance weighed on me like a bag of doubt.

The Deli was the name of the venue that I played. I was opening up the band Galapagous, which my friend plays the keys for. The Deli isn't the most lavish of venues, but it's got heart and sometimes that's all you need. This was the first comedy show that this venue had ever had, and no one really knew howcomedy shows worked. So, I made sure that I had someone to bring me up and lay down some rules like "don't talk" and "pay attention" and "no cell phones". My friend "Crazy" Steve Baptist has a way with words so I asked him to bring me up. This is I got brought up: "If this guyaint ' funny...8-Balls for everyone!!!" That was the last thing out of his mouth. Do you know how much pressure you're under to be funny when the prize for your failure is free cocaine? I almost wanted me to fail just for the free blow. The street value of that 8-Ball would be more than what I got paid. (if you know the value of goodcocaine, then you know I didn't get paid much.)

I took the stage and talked about the free cocaine, the band for allowing me to open for them, and the lovely audience that came out early to hear live local stand-up comedy. That's the best feeling when people come out to support you, and they have never heard of you before. That's cool. I started off strong and kept it up the entire show. These people are in the middle of the plains and a lot of them have never even been to a live stand-up show before. It's an odd feeling to take someones live comedy cherry from them. Norman, Oklahoma I hope you enjoyed your virginity while you had it.

Everything was great up until my last joke. I started it and that's when this one guy felt it was time to inform me that I was Not Funny. He shouted out 3 times, so I took him up on his offer for conversation. He wanted me to know that he didn't want to say what he said, but felt he had to say it. I asked him why he didn't want to speak his mind in the middle of my show, and he responded with "causeI's tryin ' to be nice and didn't want to cause a problem." To which I responded, "and you are aware that that is exactly what you're doing now, right Sir?" I got a huge applause from the crowd, and finished my joke to laughter.

After the show I am taken aside by a guy who really enjoyed my show. I'm pretty sure he did because he kept shaking and holding my hand as he mumbled. He was Native American and loved me. He invited me to his house for a drum circle. I'm not making that part up. He invited me to beat on his tom tom's. So, just as Shakes to Much Hands was talking to me, the Heckler walks up to me. "Hey, you shouldn't make fun of god!" I reply, "I wasn't making fun of god, I was talking about people using god to advertise, especially Christians." Then he says, "You need to respect god, or you'll likely to your ass kicked!" I brushed him off and let it go, but Shakes to Much Hands didn't. He assured me in a mumble that he'd kick his ass long before he got to me. I like Native Americans. Why do ignorant Christians automatically turn to violence when they feel that their values are attacked? Becauseopenin' a big ol ' can of whoop ass is just what Christ would do. The main reason I'm not a Christian is because I don't want that guy on my team. If I had to go to Heaven and be surrounded by all of those people and NOT commit a sin against them, I'd go crazy.

This is how the rest of my trip went:
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