hey there party people,
i just wanted to put an end to the rumors on the bottom lefthand side of this page that i'm "lovin 4 now" People magazine's 2007 sexiest man alive matt damon.
argument 1) he's married to a baby's mama. and they have civil rights to that baby!
argument 2) no.
i'm sure you're a nice guy, mr. damon, but i don't know you like that.
photo courtesy of Flickr and mamaa wolff
also the rationalization was "because i'm a girl." don't even get me started. i am mclovin 4 now the right to free speech.
i am mchatin 4 now side columns expressing blatant lies about people's personal innermost feelings.
i also still mchate littering.
i also mchate how after a funny movie comes out that is called superbad, people by the name of me can't stop mclovin on it by mcquotin it and mcmakin jokes related to it. also, mcfor the mcrecord, i mchaven't actually mcseen the mcmovie.
but since my real opinions apparently have no place on this blog, here's valuable information that you can actually use. new open mic starting december 3rd. that's right! MONDAY.
Where: SPY LOUNGE in Adams Morgan, DC.
Who: Tyler Richardson and Eli Sairs
Arrival time for comics is 7:30, show runs from 8 to 10. Sign-up is on premises.
For more info you can e-mail devohaven (at) gmail.com.
the website's pretty hip but don't let it scare you.
finally, local life and comic impresario brandon ivey wrote and photographed this exposé on his recent travels. it's awesome. just like brandon ivey.
Read more!
Friday, November 30, 2007
I Spy a Lie!
4 Now: Open Mic @ Chief Ike's on Sunday this week!
Hey Guys, just want to remind you that our usual Monday Night Open Mic is on Sunday at 8:30 this week instead of Monday. Everything else about the show is the same. We will be back on Mondays next week and every week after that.
Let's Do This, DC!
WIT's "Seasonal Disorder": Kicks off TONIGHT!
Nov. 30th - Dec. 30th
Happy Friday everyone! In fact, "Happy last Friday before the Holidays begin their non-stop assault to ruin every quiet moment you might have during your day!" Taking a cigarette break? There is some guy dressed as Santa shaking a goddamn bell on the corner. Want to finish those end of the year reviews? The receptionist is too busy putting sleigh bells around the front desk to notice!
The fine folks at Washington Improv Theater feel your pain. Because, the Holidays are coming.....for ALL of us!
[Hit the jump for show listings!]
WIT's Seasonal Disorder
"A decidedly NOT warm and fuzzy take on Christmas merriment" -Washington Post Style
Friday and Saturday Nights@ 8pm, $12
Caveat's Forgotten Holiday's w/ Jinx!
Every holiday season we are met with stressful obligations, gift-giving dilemmas and traditions we don't understand, but feel compelled to accommodate. Caveat asks the question, "What if every holiday was just as important?"
Fridays@ 9:30pm, $12
Jackie's Working Overtime w/ Season Six
So, are you enjoying your time off this holiday season to celebrate with friends and family? Must be nice. Jackie, however, is Workin' Overtime. Someone has to do it.
Saturdays@ 9:30pm, $12
WIT's Reindeer Games
A special late-night bring-your-own-grog event featuring guest players from all of Washington Improv Theater's troupes.
Saturdays (12.15-12.30)@ 11:00pm $5 Cash at Door, BYOB
All shows are at the Source Theater on 1835 14th Street NW. This will be WIT's new home for 2008!
For more information and to purchase tickets head to Washingtion Improv Theater's Website.
Read more!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Nick Turner: Joke Killer
When Jason branded me a joke killer a couple of months ago, I thought it was a bunch of hogwash kept in a large vat of hooey. I have been proved wrong every day since. I have a tendency to crush jokes everywhere, in an effort to remain the only funny person in any room I enter. It works for me, but occasionally nice, well meaning comedians get caught up in my whirl of joke killing and I end up hurting good people. 
[The picture above is the only one I could find of someone named Haywood.]
From Haywood: Is there sign-up prior to the show? Or is it 1st come, 1st serve. Thanks for the info too.
Peace
Haywood Turnipseed, Jr.
Perfectly nice email question. What a sweetheart this man is.
From me: Just come on down. First come, may turn into a lottery but we'll see.
Starting off perfectly cordial. At this point I am sober and not breathing fire.
Haywood: Thanks again; I''m not going to be able to make this week, obviously, with the late email and all. Any-who, I'll be down next week for sure, good Lord willing and the creek don't rise.
Here is where the problems begin. I thought he was giving me shit because i took too long to get back to him. Not the case. He emailed this to me during our show. That's what was obvious. To everyone but me.
Me: wow...sorry we offended you...
see you next week, obviously...
What a dick! Are you kidding me? Who raised me?! What an embarrassment I am to the comedy community and world at large. Also, very drunk at this point and will no longer be answering emails in this state. I might has well have been clubbing baby seals on stage at the Improv. Go fuck yourself, me.
Haywood: I'm sorry; I wasn't offended; I was trying to be funny. My own email, that I myself sent to you, was late...... I think the Good Lord comment confused everything. I'll be more straight forward in emails sent in the future.
The Future:
I was happy to receive the invite but I was not able to attend; I hope that I offended no one by my own faith, in my own humor. Sometimes I am the only one to understand myself; obviously. ... Please find no offenses in this email, as I am just learning how to bring my comedy all together. Also, am I still allowed to come out next week?
Peace
Haywood (just a normal guy w/feelings...obviously)
Are you kidding me?! Oh my god, I want to crawl into the jaws of a lion. I am clearly in an email war with a Southern Gentleman/superhero. My good sirs, I am going to hell in a handbasket full of sweet tea. Haywood, "I do declare" you the nicest man on earth.
Me: I'm an asshole.
People, if you see Haywood around the scene, tip your hat and apologize to him on my behalf. And if you have a show, put him on it. I'm going to do my best to get him to do mine. This one's for you, Haywood.
Read more!
Monday, November 26, 2007
DC Comedy Spotlight: Jermaine Fowler
Jermaine Fowler is one of DC's youngest comics, but don't let that fool you. At the age of 19, Jermaine has already performed at pretty much every spot in the city; DCAC in Adam's Morgan, 9:55 Comedy Club, The Laughing Lizard, Riot Act Comedy Club, Cafe Rendezvous, Chief Ike's, The Hyatt in Bethesda, Firehouse Grill, and Wiseacres. Just recently, Jermaine crushed it and placed 1st at the DC Improv's November 2007 Comedy Showcase. Kid is on fire, son!
I asked him what he thinks about getting his start in the DC Area:
"What I like about being in this area is that there are so many bad crowds. Learning how to handle an inattentive audience and control hecklers will toughen you for the future. I feel the more you bomb onstage the stronger you'll write and perform in front of better crowds. That's in itself is an advantage."
Check out some of Jermaine's videos below and make sure to catch him this Friday, Nov 30th at the Howard University Comedy Showcase @ The Cramton Auditorium.
[updated with interview]
Jermaine Fowler @ Hollywood Improv
bonus video: Jermaine @ Wisearces Comedy Club, VA
Jermaine Fowler Interview
*When did you realize that you wanted to do comedy?
After watching Eddie Murphy Raw I started writing jokes. I kept them for a while before actually going onstage months later. The jokes sucked.
*Who were some of your earliest influences?
Bruce, Pryor, Murphy, and Chappelle were and still are my influences. Out of all of them I still look up to Chappelle. Now, CK, O'Neal, Burr, and Mulaney are my favorite working comics. What captivated me about them is what they find funny is what I find funny. Almost like the same sense of humor.
*Where did you first perform?
My first performance wasn't at a comedy club. It was at a Talent Show at my high school. I didn't get through my first joke because the panel of female judges didn't like my jokes about periods. Go figure.
*What was your first paid gig?
At the Hyatt. It was me and Doug Powell who were on the show. I miss Doug. Anyway, I did pretty well, and Curt slipped me a twenty, but I wasted it on Jerry Subs and Pizza.
*Do you prefer to write on or off stage?
offstage. I do most of my jokes in front of a mirror because you have nobody to make you have seconds thoughts about them. Just you, a reflection, and a dirty sink. I prefer to ad-libbing onstage because it exercises your wit.
*Do you enjoy the process of writing?
Hell yea! I love writing. I feel more comfortable doing a joke that has been written. I'm not that comfortable to just wing it onstage,yet.
*What about performing live do you enjoy?
Making drunk strangers laugh. Making a heckler look incredibly stupid so he can go back and think twice before trying to be funny in front his friends. When I started I wanted to convey a message, but I wasn't funny. I think as soon as you find what's funny about you the message will come out naturally. When you have that passionate moment onstage about something that pisses you off. And then when people laugh you wonder, "Why the hell are they laughing. I'm serious!" It's just a good feeling when you're not trying to be funny and people laugh anyway.
*What's hacky to you?
A fucker who steals and is unoriginal. Sometimes I hate audiences more than the hack. Some people are just stupid. Oh well.
*What is your day job?
I Temp. Mostly, I write jokes all day . I rarely work.
*Were your parents supportive of you doing comedy?
My father told me I can't do comedy because he doesn't want me coming home at different times of night. He kicked me out the house months after I graduated high school. My mother, I can't say. My girlfriend and her mother at the time told me to go back to college and quit comedy. My grand-mother is always behind me though. I love her. She's the coolest. Everyday if she does something stupid she'll tell me, "Don't be telling people about that when you get onstage, okay?"
*Where do you plan on moving next?
New York, son! It's the mecca of stand-up. I thought LA, but I like riding subways for some reason.
*How do you feel about the comedy scene in DC?
It's ok, but you have to respect where you start. Nobody respects someone who trashes where their from. If that's the case you should move and stop crying. So many talented people came from this area, but the thing is they never stayed here. It's a good place to start. There are so many original writers and performers here, too. I'd change the amount of venues and some of the people who book them. BLAGHT!
Read more!
Hey, comics in the back...Shut the Fuck Up!!!
This past Saturday night I noticed something that has become increasingly annoying to me: comics talking in the back of the room. I can cut people
slack when it is an open mic or a large room where the whispers don't carry. We've all been guilty in that scenario. Unlike Saturday however, at an open mic there aren't normally cameras recording for television. Was this Lettermen or Leno? Most certainly not, but it was a TV spot for Comcast OnDemand. Is it a big deal? Probably not, but it's still nice to think that your material will be seen and heard by people watching TV. Treat it with some sort of respect, people.
So, why did a handful of comics run their fucking mouth during the whole fucking show? Maybe I've got sensitive ears and it was just loud to me. Wait, no it wasn't because other comics complained about it! Most every comic stood in the back, directly behind or next to the camera. What would make a person think, "This is the perfect place to whisper loudly about complete bullshit and distract people from enjoy a comic who I FUCKING KNOW!" If you want to talk, step outside. It is not only rude to the comics, but to the audience as well. It was jaw dropping to see a group of comics not give a fuck about the fact the cameras were rolling. More disturbing though is that noone really said anything. I was hosting the show and remembered "sooshing" people twice, but to no avail.
Did I want to watch every comic that was on the show that night? No. Did I have to because I was hosting it? Yes. I know how boring it is to watch the same comic do the same set over and over again. That's why if I don't have to stand in the back, I leave. I go talk to other people who are bored. I don't stand in the back and fucking talk. Why? Because I'm not rude and actually give a shit about other peoples performance...even if I don't like it.
And one more thing about the showcase: I was fucking amazing.
Read more!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Headshot? They should call it no shot! Ha Ha Ha ughhhhhhh.
Disclaimer: My writing and grammar has not improved since the last blog. However, I am still awesome. 4. Don't try to be too clever.
Headshots are a vital piece of every performers press kit. I could write some solid detailed advice about headshots but why re-invent the wheel when you can click here for that info. Besides I'm only writing this blog so that I can make fun of the headshots below. So let's get started and I'll throw some of my own helpful advice in along the way.
Rule 1. Have Fun!
Sure Ranger Frank may be saying "Don't hire me. I am clearly unstable" with this headshot but I guarantee you he had a fun time in that photo shoot!
2. Think it through
Maybe head shots aren't for you if you're ugly. Listen. Now of course not everybody looks like Brad Pitt but you've got to work with what you've got. CAMMAN! Use some common sense and look in a mirror.
3. Does your headshot match your material?
There's two parts to this one. First, if your wife is in your headshot...get another headshot with just you. Why would you do that? Second, if you going to keep a headshot that has both you and your wife in it...don't do 45 minutes of material on banging German teens while on business trips. The audience won't respect you.
You're not impressing people with your ability to grow your hair. Keep it simple jackass and just use one picture.
5. Black & white or color?
It really doesn't matter if your headshot is in black & white or color if you look like you touch children.
6. Dress appropriately.
I can't really knock this guy. He looks like every DJ at every wedding I have ever been to. If that is the look this guy is going for...then he nailed it! He is throwing a little something extra in there too. SASS!
Shhh. Dj Robbie Rob is about to tear the roof off this place with a back to back mix of Real McCoy. Oh, it's not just "Another Night"...it's THE night. "Run Away"...
No seriously. Run away.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Comcast Showcase @ The DC Improv Comedy Lounge
Comcast brings its Comcastic Comedy Showcase back to the DC Improv's Comedy Lounge on November 24th @ 8:00pm. The first showcase was a awesome night of local, stand-up comedy and Saturday promises to be just as amazing.
The show will feature 11 of the best local working comics the greater DC metro area has to offer. Here is the line-up(in order from most fuckable [sorry Chris]): Mike Way, Jimmy Merritt, Freddi Vernell, Jared Stern, Tim Miller, Sean Gabbert, Matt Kazam, Jon Mumma, Justin Schlelgel, Joe Deeley, and Chris White. The showcase is hosted by Jay Hastings and he shouldn't suck. There are just a few tickets remaining for a lovely, intimate evening of great local comedy. Come out and check it out.
Read more!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
DC Improv Showcase Show
Tonight is the DC Improv's local talent showcase show. This is a monthly showcase, and tonights show is hosted by Ryan Conner. Tonights line-up is:
*JERMAINE FOWLER
*EVAN VALENTINE
*LANCE WEISS
*LAFAYETTE WRIGHT
*TAYLOR EDGAR
There will also be two guest sets at the end of the show from two previous showcase winners: Bryson Turner & Jake Young
This is what the future of DC comedy looks like, so come out and support the laughs (yep, that's the gayest thing I've ever typed).
Read more!
