Reminder: Big Show tonight @ 18th & Red

The Bomb Shelter @ "18th & Red" get's written up by THE ONION'S A.V. CLUB tonight!

The show will include the comic styles of:
Seaton Smith, Kojo Mante, John McBride, Aparna Nancherla, Bryson Turner, and Erin Jackson.

Please, come show your support for local comedy and give the AV Club a big "HELL YES!"

WHERE: 18th & Red (In Adams Morgan across from The Diner)
WHEN: 9:00pm (starts promptly) Read more!

Get MORTIFIED tonight @ HR-57

What is worse than sharing your deepest highschool secrets with complete strangers? What would be worse than if a bunch of people you didn't know start pouring thorough your journal, poems and sketches revealing what they already knew: you are a total dork.

What is worse than that? WAIT....what is FUNNIER than that?

Get Mortified answers that question by bringing their unique show tonight to HR-57. From their website:

Ripped from the pages of real life... Mortified is a comic excavation of adolescent artifacts (journals, letters, poems, lyrics, home movies, stories and more) as shared by their original authors before total strangers...After all, where else can you hear grown men and women confront their past with firsthand tales of their... first kiss, first puff, worst prom, fights with mom, life at bible camp, worst hand job, best mall job, and reasons they deserved to marry Bon Jovi?

Wow, this sounds great. Please check them out tonight:

WHERE: HR-57 1610 14th Street NW, 20009
WHEN: 7:30 pm
HOW MUCH: $15 at door, $12 adv. Read more!

Differences between DC and NY Part 2: Hanging out.

So I've mentioned some differences between these two fair cities before when i talked about getting paid for standup or even when I talked about getting all pouty about a lack of available stagetime. Well this one is sillier.
I noticed that comics here tend to get to shows really early and hang out for an hour or more before the show. But when the show is over, whoever is still around immediately bolts. However, in NY, you'll be lucky if all of the performers have shown up by the time the show was scheduled to start, because you know the audience hasn't. And after the show, it's time to get drunk and hang. Boy do I miss that. Basically I'm saying that I want to get drunk, and not alone. Come on people. Does this city not hang out late night?!
Now I realize that one reason is because in NY I'm mainly talking about shows that have already booked the comedians. Therefore, no one is getting there early, hoping to get a spot. DC unfortunately is severly lackng in these types of shows so pretty much every show you're going to is an open mic, with an extremely long list of comedians performing. Probably another reason is that NY is a night owl friendly town. Where in DC, if you haven't hopped on the metro by midnight, your shit out of luck and are sleeping on park bench.
ANyway, blah blah blah, if you see me at a show, and are wondering if I want to get drunk and bullshit for a couple of hours afterward...I do. Ask me. I'm jonesing, son! Read more!

The Onion's A.V. Club checks out The Bomb Shelter this Thursday!

The Bomb Shelter @ "18th & Red" get's written up by THE ONION'S A.V. CLUB this Thursday, November 8th!!!

The Bomb Shelter is pleased to inform everyone that our showcase was selected to be written up by The Onion's A.V. Club. They'll be reviewing live, local comedy in The District. PLEASE COME SUPPORT THIS SHOW!!! This will be a great line-up of local comics.

The show will include:
Seaton Smith, Kojo Mante, John McBride, Aparna Nancherla, Bryson Turner, and Erin Jackson.

John McBride and Jay are the two guys who run the room, and we would really appreciate the support. This is a huge thing to be featured in The Onion and I'd love for 18th & Red to be packed out with fellow comedians and our friends. We think it's great that the Comedy Newspaper in DC is going to review a locally run comedy show by local comedians. If you are able to come out and support the show we would be very greatful, and you'd be greatful because it's going to be a great show.

WHERE: 18th & Red (In Adams Morgan across from The Diner)
WHEN: 9:00pm (starts promptly) Read more!

Who Put Her on the Guest List?

So the club comedy ladder to success roughly works like thees.

You start out as an MC (i.e., host).

Den if yer good enough and have enoff material, you kin be a feature.

And one day if you survive "the game," you can hustle your way into a headliner spot.

That begs (or maybe panhandles) the question, where does the elusive guest set fit in?

Well, I'll tell you what. A guest star on a TV program is usually a movie star who has lowered their standards for a small chunk of time for the purpose of prostituting themselves and their career on a small gray screen as opposed to a ginormous silver one. But still, the point is, people still get excited! People watch! People coo! People ooh! whaddhya mean movie star on da tee-vee?! just tell me when and what channel!

By contrast, a comedy guest set is not quite as glamorous if you don't have the name recognition to back it up. Don't get me wrong. It's still impressive to be on the same bill as working comedians, but a guest set is also a timefiller and unless you're a special unannounced drop-in whose last name rhymes with Crosby or Steinmeld…it will probably be a tiny taste of amateurs gone wild (I only speak for my own act, so keep your panties bundlefree)!

So I had a guest set last night at the DC Improv. Thankful? Extremely so and other suckity-uppers. How did it go?! The guest set itself was fun. I had a good time! I made people expel puffs of air in guttural bursts. I left no premise unturned (this is a blatant exaggeration). I think I lost them a bit at the end, but you know, you're supposed to get the audience crimping for more professionalism. That's yer job and yer place in the entertainment social hierarchy.


is this thing on?
photo courtesy of Flickr and hiddedevries

But the weird part was what happened after the set. Y'see, how you feel about your comedy can be kind of superficial sometimes. And as much as I want to say I'm not dependent on external praise, well, that's just exactly it y'see, I'm dependent on external praise. That's part of the reason many (if not most) stand up comedians do comedy.

Sometimes I value a set by how I feel I did. But it's easier to be like Well, so-and-so said I'm awesome, and so-and-so is important and holds power. Thereby, I can feel good about myself until this high runs out, and I need to go back to my dealer (i.e., another show).

Or more realistically, Well, so-and-so didn't even talk to me, and so-and-so is important and holds power. Thereby, nothing I do is or has ever been of any consequence so I need to go home, write another angst poem, and put on more black eyeliner immediately!

Here was the guest set fallout, boyeee:

The headliner wasn't even aware I did a set. And fine. Why should he know or care?

But it was sad when I told him "I liked your stuff" and he looked at me like "that's nice. Why should I care?" And I was thinking "Well, you shouldn't really care."

But I think he sensed the desperation in my eyes because he was like "Are you a comic?" And I said "Meep. Yes."

"Are you local?"

"Yes."

"Did you go up?"

"Yes."

"How was it?"

"Oh, fun! The audience was a little weird though, you were right." (he called them weird! Not me! I was calling back to his set!)

"Yeah well, that's the kind of people I bring in."

*half turns around and walks away*

Awesome! Really glad we talked! Thanks for the advice! Has anybody perchance seen my sandhole?

The feature act was kinder in acknowledgement, and said "G'job, sweetheart!" with a medium-firm handshake. I liked everything except the 'sweetheart' tag. It's one thing if a male comedian would have gotten the exact same praise but somehow adding the 'sweetheart' to the end was like candy-necklacing the whole gesture. To candy-necklace is a verb I just made up that means 'trying to sweeten something up but creating the opposite effect.' Like if you put a candy necklace on a mean person…not only does it fail to make him or her sweeter, it grates at you even more that such a vile person is wearing a candy necklace.

Finally, the peanut gallery of postshow appraisal (which refers to the audience coming up to you after a show) can often flavor an otherwise blasé night savory and rich. The weird thing is I got no feedback from any women. Sometimes women don't like female comics, or maybe I didn't "speak" to any of them. I mentioned my period once. I don't get it.

Oh wait, I just remembered. I did get a smile from an Asian girl. But I don't know if that was intentional or if I was just in her line of sight and she was one of those always-smiles-to-prevent-any-and-all-possible-confrontations types. But here were my other earnings (I identify by race for my own useless purposes. It's not of any importance or weight so lay off!):

**old white man who said "nice work" in a very serious fashion (I like that I have a fan contingent in the old man department but the fact that he gave me this compliment while half-frowning makes me feel iffy about that whole thing. Like it was community service or something.)

**middle-aged white man who said I did great (he leaned across a circle of people to say this which upped the self-esteem boost a little higher than usual…he went out of his way!)

**tall buff black man who shook my hand and said he enjoyed the show (he could have said that to all of the performers but I choose to believe he decided to shake my hand and praise me to my face on behalf of the entire lineup plus he was so tall I was really tickled he even looked down to acknowledge me – my head came up to about his kneecaps).

**small asian man with distinctive ears (nodded rapidly and said "I really liked your stuff" AND shook my hand. I wanted to lie down after this compliment. It was powerful.)

**youngish white man with unidentifiable accent who was pretty effusive in his praise of me but said it the way you would say it to someone who needed their spirits raised (but was also a loud heckler at the end of the show which made me a little doubtful about whether his praise should even count or not), and then he tried to tell me a joke that I didn't understand at all hence rendering the social interaction a failure overall.

In conclusion, the night was a success!!! And earlier that day, I got to cuddle a puppy, and she was so excited about it, she peed on my foot!


a giddy attack of self-esteem
photo courtesy of Flickr and nouveau Read more!

You Tube Monday: Round 1 Fight! Edition

What ever happened to our favorite characters from arguably the greatest fighting game of all time? Well, the extremely well done web series entitled "Street Fighter: The Later Years" answers that question in hilarious fashion. I am a big fan. Here is the first episode to whet your whistle. Check out all the episodes out at collegehumor.com



From one of our favorite NYC sketch groups and regular guest of the DC Comedy Fest, this next clip comes from Elephant Larry.

"There will be no fire balls in this dojo!"

And finally I have a clip that has also been on the internet for a while, but I cannot help but go back to every two weeks or so. Now with the Street Fighter music overlayed, it will definitely be in my "ignore work" playlist for a bit longer.

Baby gets KO'ed, yo! Read more!

Everyone Give Up! The Dream is DEAD!

Well, it finally happened, folks. The earth opened up and swallowed H-wood, forever ruining the lives we once thought possible. So anyway, you, young kid skipping out on his bio lab to go to that open mic at Topaz, go back to class. And you, guy who is neglecting his girlfriend on date night by doing some time at the Laughing Lizard, buy some flowers and go have sex with your girl instead. Why? because there will never be any jobs for you!

I had previously assumed that this would be the biggest thing to ever happen on November 5th. I was wrong. I will now forever associate this day with the day that the hearts and souls of everyone I know desperately hoping to become a writer or performer were dashed on the rocks. The day that temporary and unemployed workers actually started to look for real work. It is a sad day my friends. Goodbye forever. Read more!

DC Comedy Football League

For the past two Saturdays several of DC's finest comics have been getting together for a friendly game of backyard football. We have a wide range of skill level, ranging from talented to fat. I've never played football with a bunch of comics, but it's refreshing to play with a bunch of people whose attitude is, "I don't give a shit". It's way better than the competitive assholes who will make you re-play a down if they think someone step out of bounds on play. We play two-hand touch because we are comics, and that means that the majority of us do not have health insurance. If you're interested in playing, allow me to run down the players and their skill level as I see it.

JAY HASTINGS: Fucking Amazing!
JOHN MCBRIDE: A lot of heart at QB, but scouting reports have his 40 too high.
JASON SAENZ: He blocks like a brick wall. Good hands too, but nervous in front of cheerleaders.
KOJO MANTE: Tall, fast, good hands, and friendly...but he's a ball hog and lazy.
LARRY POON: Would like to throw the ball more, and not run as much.
JASON WEEMS: He's quick and gives 100% every play. His speed comes from living in Baltimore.
BRYSON TURNER: He is the white Anthony Gonzalez. Good for team spirit.
NICK TURNER: Would like the ball more. Slow...but good hands! He's a Gemini.
RANDOM GUY ON A BIKE (DRE): I think he played some Junior College ball. But he couldn't stay from gambling. Great vertical!
ZARN: Fast, good looking, great looking, well dressed, and a smile that would melt your heart.

Well, that's the run down of the people whose name I can remember. Every Saturday we'll be playing on the baseball field in Adams Morgan. You should could out and play with us if you're not scared. Read more!

Ian Bagg wants to know..."What do you do?"

Jay and I went to see Ian Bagg last night at the DC Improv and unfortunately, since we were in the absolute last row, we were unable to inform Mr. Bagg of our occupations. But that didn't stop him from asking every. single. other. member. of. the. audience. that. question.

What do you do?

Bagg relied so much on crowd work that I think we saw maybe ten minutes of actual material. Now I'm not saying I disliked his set as I enjoyed the material he had and was extremely impressed at some of the places he was able to go from the audience participation aspect of the show. The best part of the night had Bagg doing almost ten minutes straight of improvised material after a member of the audience volunteered that he had only one testicle.

The improv is fine (especially since the show occurred at the Improv) but why oh why did 95% of it have to come after Bagg asked his favorite question of all time, "What do you do?"

Sample Dialogue from last's night's show:
"Hey ma'am. Yes you, the lesbian with all of the tattoos, what do you do? Oh you're a lesbian, right on. Hey you sir, What do you do? Oh you work in the Navy. huh? Sounds like a lazy job. Bet you'd be late for war if you had that lesbian on your boat. You three, what do y'all do? You work for a non-profit? You think you're better than everyone else? You sir, what do you do? Too late, moving on. This table, what do y'all do? We'll just have to guess, cannot wait for response. The back section! What do you do? Everyone in the audience...WHAT DO YOU DO!? What do you do, what do you do, does not compute, what do you do, malfunctioning, what do you do!!!!!?

It was at that point that Bagg's circiut board shorted out and the show was over. But that didn't stop Jay and I from asking each other what we did for the next hour straight. Despite that one glaring annoyance, the show was pretty good, and you wouldn't be doing yourself a disservice by checking him out tonight or tomorrow. For more info, check out DC Improv's homepage. Read more!

Eat our DUST!

We are currently changing the format of our blog, so don't freak out if you see some wierd stuff on the site for the next few days (other than Jay's posts).

Thanks,

DCC4N Construction Crew Read more!

Open Mic Over Population

Anyone else think it’s time for some more comics to start their own rooms? If last nights bread line of an Open Mic proved anything, it’s that John McBride does way too much for the DC Comedy Scene and countless comics ride his coattails. He runs Rendezvous every Wednesday night with NO help, and he co-operates The Bomb Shelter with me every Thursday. Other comics in the community that run their own rooms and help provide Life for a fledgling, near death open mic scene in this town are: Tyler Sonnichsen with the Laughing Lizard (which is Bi-Weekly and a great room), Lance Smith has Bistro Europa on Sundays, and of course The Godfather Curt Shakelford runs his rooms. I know that there are other comics in the area that put on shows in the outskirts of the DC Metro Area like Jim Pate with Brittnay’s or one of the shows in Columbia, Maryland. However, where the hell are the weekly shows to perform in DC? Wednesday is The Vous and Thursday is a showcase show. Monday’s are fucking DEAD. Tuesday are DEAD, but I have heard that Café Japone might be opening back up. However, I was there on Tuesday and the owner was trying to make people pay $15 dollars to watch a fucking open mic. Friday night...DEAD again. Then Saturday if you’re lucky you can get up at Tyler’s Laughing Lizard.

Why don’t more comics take action and try to do something for themselves. Fuck the community, do it for your own stage time. Be greedy…I am. Find a space, create a show, and make time for yourself and for your friends and for good comics. I don’t understand why people sit on their ass and wait for shows to pop up. Go find a place! Last night at TheVous there were almost 30 FUCKING COMICS! So, instead of comics getting 5 - 10 mins, everyone got 2 MINS!!! I know I really got a lot out of reading joke premises out of my notebook. The ecosystem that is the open mic scene is so out of balance. In nature when a population explodes, and the environment can no longer sustain that population…you know what happens? It fucking dies. So are there any comics out there who will take action and start a new environment to sustain us? Cause if not we can just treat it like overpopulated deer, and start shooting the weaker, slower, can't detect camouflage comics (Jon Mumma would have a field day!). There are a handful of us who have rooms and try to produce quality shows, and it's really fucking hard.

“Go and do likewise gents. Otherwise, I have no sympathy for you.”
Blake – “Glen Gary, Glen Ross” Read more!

Robert Goulet Dead at Age 73

From NYTimes.com:

Robert Goulet, who marshaled his dark good looks and thundering baritone voice to play a dashing Lancelot in the original “Camelot” in 1960, then went on to a wide-ranging career as a singer and actor, winning a Tony, a Grammy and an Emmy, died today [Tuesday morning]. He was 73.

The singer died in a Los Angeles hospital while awaiting a lung transplant, a Goulet spokesman said in an e-mail, according to the Associated Press.

Who didn't love this man? I didn't know much about his career, but God, if I had a voice like his I could melt iron and panties simultaneously. What an icon. I loved his recent peanut commerical where he is crawling on the ceiling like Spiderman in a turtleneck, but what I love the most was what I found recently: his failed TV pilot, "Acting Sheriff". Got to love the purple sports jacket. The man could wear anything!

Rest in Peace, Goulet!

Read more!