Mitch Hedberg always says it better.

Because of my aforementioned thumb cast (don't worry about how it happened - NOBODY TALKS BACK TO "THE KID!" - I call myself The Kid now - Please call me The Kid! It'll be sooo cool!) it is very difficult to write down jokes. I think of jokes all the time, because I am a comic genius, but it is physically difficult for me to hold a pen so I have to just store it in my brain. Even that is almost impossible because, as you know, 99 percent of my brain meat is used up by my legendarily huge Spank Bank. It reminds me of one of my favorite Mitch Hedberg quotes that I will share with you right now:

"I sit at my hotel at night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny."
-Mitchy

That's how I feel. So scan down and look at my picture from the last post and commit it to your own spank bank. Then masturbate while thinking of me. Then tell me how it was in the comments. I love you DC.