Do as I say Jesus does, not as I do

I just got off the phone with my dad, and goddamn it if I am constantly amazed that I am cut from the same stock as that man. Don't get me wrong, I love my father but it's mind boggling how being "born again" and blindly supporting George W. Bush can make someone a complete asshole to talk to on the phone. My dad and I speak once every two weeks just about and for the most part we agree to not talk about certain topics. Those topics being: religion, politics, and money. This has been the case ever since I was young. From a very early age I learned that if you didn't want to see Dad embarrass you in a public setting steer clear of all of those topics. He once yelled at me and my sister in a sushi restaurant because we spoke against George W. Bush's decision to invade Iraq. "You ungrateful little son of a bitches. You enjoy the freedom that this country provides you, but you don't want to fight for it....". Blah, blah, blah. Then he said something about how he was responsible for our "freedom" and that's when I reminded him that he was in the Air Force Reserves and never saw action. He got so mad that he left the table and sat in the car until we finished our meal.

The only way to have a pleasant conversation with my father is to completely agree with him. His Right Wing, Jesus Lovin' mind won't let him compromise or see anyone else's point of view. He never backs down. If anyone of the "No-No Topics" of conversation pops up you should just immediately say, "Yep, the blacks are lazy and the Jews are plotting to take your money, all brown people are terrorists, and I pray every night that George W. can rewrite the Constitution in time and serve a 3rd Term...that'd be great, and a clear sign that Jesus Love Us All!!!" Because that is where is mind is coming from.

So, my Dad and I are just having a little chat; shooting the breeze. He asks me about comedy and how it's going. I tell him that the DC scene blows and open mic stage time is scarce, but paid work is picking up somewhat. I start informing him that I think San Francisco is going to be the place that I move to next. He responds with, "Why do you want to move out there with all them gays? You should move to Atlanta and do comedy. But, there are a lot of blacks." (I often get the feeling that I'm fucked for life just from the DNA I have) I tell him that, "yes Atlanta does have a lot of black people, but that's not the reason why I'm not moving there." The next thing he said is where I knew we were gonna be getting into a fight.

"I can't believe what's going on down there in Louisiana. It's a fuckin' shame." And I know right away that he isn't on the side of the Jena 6. He's literally upset that there is a march going on down there and thinks those 6 black kids should get what's coming to them. His exact words were, "I don't know why they're marching. They have no business being down there. They should let the the government take care of it and do their job. The people in that town have every right to shut down and let those protesters know that they're not welcome." WOW!!!! I ended the conversation right away before I lost anymore respect for my father.

My point behind this blog is that it's amazing how people who are "born again" Christians are quite often Republican. Because the political views that make up the Republican party do not measure up to the teachings of Christ. Would Jesus fuck over the poor and leave them to starve? Even if those people were drug addicts, with 35 children on welfare...would Jesus turn his back on them? No, Jesus would invite them into his home, cook them a meal, put clean clothes on their back, give their kids some toys, and find them a job so they could support their family. You might say he's teaching them to fish for a LIFE. My dad always attacks me and says, "Why don't you do that if you care so much about the poor?" And I say, "Dad, I don't believe in Jesus, so I don't have to follow his fucking make believe teachings...YOU DO!" Would Jesus NEVER admit he's wrong? I fucking love the ignorant right-wing bible-thumpers who PREACH the gospel and totally miss the message of Christ's teachings. How does anyone miss the horrible mistreatment of those 6 kids in Louisiana? And to call yourself a Christian and speak against what's going on down there is fucking horrible. I grew up in the South and I know the mentality that breathes underneath social norms and the political correctness that has been adopted in society. It's disgusting and I know that people whisper their approval.

HEY THAT WAS A FUNNY COMEDY BLOG!!! It had racial stereotypes, christian slamming, social issues, and the uplifting chuckle fest that is my failing relationship with my ignorant dad. Tune in next week when I take on SUDDEN INFANT DEATH SYNDROM & TEENAGE MOMS!

Jay