Top 10 Christmas Movies of All-Time

Its a Wonderful Life--George Bailey drinks himself into a parallel dimension in order to avoid being arrested for embezzlement from his bank. While transversing through altered dimensions, he is reminded that if your going to commit white collar crime learn how to live a life where no one notices a single thing you do, to the point where they doubt you even exist. Bailey thinks he returns to third dimension but actually returned to the 133rd where people wish each other Merry Christmas by storming into each other's house plopping down what little money they have in hopes that you will give it right back to them.

Miracle 34th Street--The real Santa Clause, acting on account of jealous rage, exposes the drinking problem of the Macy's imitation Santa. Things are going as planned until it was revealed that while he may act and look like the real Santa, he may have gone through private personnel files of Macy employees to expose the other Santa. No matter whether the fake-Santa was "naughty or nice", Claus's actions were illegal and he arrested and put on trial. Eventually, it is discovered he is the real Santa Claus where he is promptly arrested, detained, and charged with 324 billion counts of "Breaking and Entering".

Bad Santa: Billy Bob Thorton experiences a change of heart for the world through robbing department stores and sodomizing women in dressing rooms.

A Christmas Story: Two maniacally passive-aggressive parents keep their children in line by conducting their child rearing through various acts of bizarre behavior, including: 1.) The father threatening to leave their mother for lamp in the shape of woman's leg, 2.) Having their oldest child suck on a bar of soap for saying, "fudge", 3.) Trying to slowly suffocate their youngest one with his own winter clothing 4.) Planting the seeds of a self-fulfilling prophecy ("you'll shoot your eye out") in their oldest son's, Ralph, psyche with his most precious desire, a BB gun, until he is able to do so, 5.) Taking them to a Chinese restaurant on Christmas Day and forcing them to watch the beheading of a duck.

The Grinch that Stole Christmas: A green baby turd runs off with a town's presents and toys the night before Christmas while befriending a small child. This classic was actually the mega-company “Johnson and Johnson's” first attempt at using a visual media to help parents potty-train their small children.

Christmas Vacation: Chevy Chase, in his most complex role ever, stars as a deeply troubled man who becomes intoxicated with materialism and falls victim to an obsession for a swimming pool. When he realizes he will fall short, he starts to act out by electrocuting his mother-in-law’s cat, attempting suicide on a sled in front of his children, and finally ordering the kidnapping and execution of his boss. He was nominated for both a Golden Globe and Academy Award.

Home Alone: A husband and wife realize they have left their son Kevin, “Home Alone” while traveling to Paris. They face multiple charges of child abuse and neglect, so the mother, Kathleen O'Hara, hires two men to go inside their house and kill their son to rid themselves of any evidence of ever having a son, “Kevin”. However, O'hara, who suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, has to leave Paris, to go home and make sure the job is done correctly and also to flush the toilet 49 times all the while comedic holiday-hilarity ensues.

White Christmas: An instructional video in the genre of a dramatization, Bing Crosby details his plan of world domination through the commercialization of Christmas and his plans for the future of the "Master Race".

Scrooged: Bill Murray wakes up every day to the same recycled Christmas story, "A Christmas Carol", over and over again until he finds the true meaning of his career by having a "miracle" running-into with film director Wes Anderson.

Loose Change or Zeitgeist: Biggest Christmas present any of us will ever recieve: the truth. You’re welcome. Now wake-up you sleeping sheep, the manger is not controlled by the "Inn Keeper".