Tales from the Road: Bar None!

Disclaimer: My spelling and grammar is atrocious. I also like to use ellipsis A LOT. I'm bad at word play and thinking of titles that are creative. I almost named this one Chicken and Corn and it has nothing to with chicken or corn. But you'll have to deal with it. I'm an ICON and I wear Valour.

I had a one nighter last night at a bar in Baltimore. Bar gigs usually go two ways. "Painfully awful" and "only slightly awful". There are a few reasons for this and the one that tends to be the number one reason is that no one in the bar seems to to ever know that a show is going to be happening.

However, this was not the case last night because there was nobody there to not know that a show was going on. I got to the bar around 8:20 for the 9:00pm show and walked into the following scene.

(The bar had less people than this.)

That's a slight exaggeration. There were a group of 5 people gathered around a pool table. The bathrooms were right by the pool tables so as I was in the bathroom I could overhear one of the guys at the pool table saying "I just love alcohol" over and over. I was only in the bathroom for a couple of minutes. In that time the guy said that phrase 12 times. I love alcohol too, but when you proclaim your love for it out loud 12 times in a span of two minutes you probably have a problem with alcohol.

I had a couple of Poon Nation Fan club members show up so while I was entertaining them I looked over my shoulder to see the Booker/headliner having a heated argument with the bar manager. I excused myself from the discussion on how great I am and walked over to find out:

THE BAR DIDN'T HAVE A SOUND SYSTEM AND THE BOOKER/HEADLINER DIDN'T BRING ONE.

Apparently that was one minor detail that the bar overlooked and the Booker forgot to follow up on.

So we discussed our options:

(A bullhorn was actually discussed and quickly tossed out as an option because nobody has bullhorns.)

The lack of sound system overshadowed (and rightly so) the fact that by 9pm only a handful of people had showed up to see the show so the bar management decided that it would be "best" to cancel the show.

I still got paid which is rare for when shows like these get cancelled. So this bar gig will be filed under "only slightly awful". I have a make up date in January. I hope they have a sound system.