The "Real Joke" in the District: DC Parking Meters

The biggest joke in Washington DC is anything driving related. If its not the traffic or asshole diplomats, when you get out of the car you have to deal with the parking meters. They either:

1. Don't work, "FAIL"--which you still get ticketed for
   
2. Are over-priced, 7 1/2 minutes now for a quarter, 1 1/2 minute for a nickel
   
3. Suck your change from you, as only every other or every two other pieces of change will actually register. I spent over 3 dollars yesterday in nickes, dimes and quarters to pay for 35 minutes.
   

The Council of DC approved the parking meter hike, which is another story, to increase revenue. Great. Fine. That's what we do when we need to increase revenue in government, raise prices or taxes. Not always the right option, not always thought through entirely, but a fact of life.

Then all I ask, is if you are going pinch every freaking penny out of my pocket, are for the meters to at least f-ing work. That's the least the City can do while we all try and deal with the economy that is about as stable as Glenn Beck watching the end of Old Yeller on the Fourth of July. Also we have to deal with this asshole.

Government only responds in a knee-jerk fashion. Get acquainted with your DC City Council, especially Jim Grahm who proposed the price hike and the Council member in your Ward. And if you see them do one or two things:

1. If you can do that really hard coin flip with your middle finger and thumb, I had a roommate that could hit me on the forehead on the other side of the room with a penny, keep some change in your pocket for when you might come across a Councilman and just start flipp'n. If you're with a group of people and you have the time, flank-out and create crossfire.
   
2. If you work behind a counter and have to give one of them change, just drop it on the floor. Let them pick it up. At least it can simulate the activity of what I have to do, when the meter eats most of my change and I have to go back and start digging through my car's seat cushions in the desperate hope that I might find another quarter.
   
3. Or, this is what I would prefer. Because every time, that meter takes my money and I try to explain it to the meter maid who in his or her own way gives me their existential middle-finger or the Council by raising the meter hike on defunct parking meters essentially smiles and tells me to "deal with it". I would like us all to just simply greet them on a daily basis with a nice, "Fuck you". If you are a mute, just give them the "Finger". Or if you would like to dial it down a bit, I would just going with the Finger. And this can all be done with a smile.
   

It can seem harsh but we live in an age where a letter, an email, even a petition can get just get lost in the shuffle. No one responds to the process and if they do, it can take forever. But a nice "Fuck You" can get someone's attention. And trust me, a narcissitic self-important douche-bag politician has a hard time dealing with adversity when its directly in their face. Especially, what could equate to a thousand FU's a day. A nice "Fuck-You" for every nickel, dime and quarter taken by the over 15,000 parking meters that are in the District.

(Cue Sally Struthers), "Just one 'Fuck-You' a day, could get a government official or City Councilman to take action and do something as small as fix a parking meter."

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