NFL: Another Distraction!

NFL season kicks off tonight—Which means I'm mostly useless when the Skins are playing. I get so absorbed into the season that everything else takes a backseat and I fall further and further behind what I am suppossed to be doing. Oh and when Washington loses, I'm useless for the week and shut off any attention to the outside world--and I think this scenario is going to happen early and often.


Some predictions:

NFC Champ: (God, I hate to say this) Dallas Cowboys

AFC Champ: New England Patriots

Superbowl: Patriots: 41 Cowboys: 21

Lead story lines:
Before tonight’s game, there is concern for the aging Tom Coughlin who suggests that if Eli Manning were to get hurt, that he has total confidence in his roast-beef sandwich.

After a visit from Ray Lewis, Raven's injured quarterback Kyle Bohler announces his retirement.

On a wide-out screen pass, Brett Farve's right arm will release from the socket and sail with the ball into the arms of Laverneous Coles who will scamper 67 yards for a TD in week 3.

Buffalo Fans will forget that the Bills start at Home this Sunday--Buffalo rolls to a 21-3 victory in an empty stadium.

Unexpectedly, Arizona Cardinal's quarterback Kurt Warner blames their slow start on Jesus.

Patriot’s Randy Moss becomes the first player ever in the history of the NFL to score a touchdown and in celebration, defecate onto the football.

Patriots squeak in again as Division Champs despite Tom Brady playing the latter half of the season pregnant with Giselle Bundchen's baby.

Chad Johnson, now legally known as "Ocho Cinco", not known for his logic, goes on a media rampage challenging anyone in a wheelchair to a race.

Peyton Manning skips practice to join James Lipton on "Inside the Actor's Stuido".

Bill Parcells during the final week of the season while grocery shopping finally gets all the references that were made about his team being "Dolphin-safe Tuna".

Oakland's owner Al Davis, takes a cue from another 'genius' Howard Huges, and starts stacking his urine in mason jars.

The Washington Redskins will go through 139 quarterback changes, finally settling on local Wilson High starter, Chet Montgomery.