The Clinic Will Be Open This Labor Day

Chief Ike's will be having its open-mic on Monday despite Labor Day protests that we close it down. Starting at 7pm, take advantage of the local anaesthesia which is $20 all you can drink, draft & rail, until 10pm. So remember during this holiday weekend, when the party gets going and you reach for that bar nap and pen only to read it the next day in panic and horror--remember you have options.

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Does Anyone Know How to...

Get a hold of Bruce Dickenson? Former, front man for Iron Maiden. Seriously. I need to ask him something.

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Down but Not Out

"C'mon DCComedy4now....C'mon...godamn it...charge it up...KEEP PUMPING! (grabs young EMT rookie by the collar)...you quit doing chest compressions ? You're goddamn right you keep doin'em! You quit when I grab you by the balls and tell you to quit! So until that time, you keep beat'n on that heart like it owes you money--got it!...Alright!...Clear!...Hit'em again...Clear!...Nothing...One more time...I said one more time! (Go through scene from the end of Aybss)...Alright...we're gonna call it at 1:03 pm...wait...wait...My God...it's logging on! It's logging on!..It may not be the smartest blog in the world..but its a fighter....Well, lets notify the President!...Well, maybe not, but a press release is in order to all...no...probably not...well, ....I'll call my mother.

Well, I'm back from Portland, nice city...I've got just under a half-oz left...Anyway...one observation from interviewing people--When you stick a camera in someones face, its very similar to sticking a gun in their face--their motorskills slow down, they are very careful about what they say and if they do say anything at all, they just scream....Moving on...I see that Aparna has taken care of the place quite nicely. Nick left most of the lights on, some Chinese take-out boxes laying around and porno playing in the boardrooom and it looks like Mr. Hastings took full advantage of that...I can't believe Jay, he of all people, still has a key. Well here is what was in the mailbox:

I'm putting on another show at the Improv Lounge on September 5th. The lineup right now is:
Will Hessler, Lisa Fine, John McBride, Aparna Nancherla, Hampton Yount and Eric Moberg

Thanks in advance.
-- Eric Moberg

From Andy Rothwell:

Tuesday (Aug. 26) at Solly's Tavern with featured artist KILLER METEOR (www.myspace.com/thekillermeteors).

And a whole slew of videos from the last month, including a part of MIKE BLEJER's set from last week at the Palace of Wonders, are coming very soon to www.youtube.com/livehumansindc and the podcast - just a little longer getting them all together here...

And from Ayanna Dookie: I just posted a video blog that I wanted you all to check out. Feel free to leave a comment, pass it on to friends, coworkers, etc. I'll be doing a lot more of these (figure this is a good outlet for my issues with the world) so I'll be sure to keep you informed.

Thanks again for all the support you've shown me:-). Enjoy!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kbLZx8PybI Ayanna

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Mike Birbiglia Adds 10:30pm Show on Sunday

Mike Birbiglia, Georgetown Alum, and from Comedy Central, Montreal's Just for Laughs Festival, and from David Letterman will be at the DC Improv this weekend...he might even already be there. In fact, I just checked their website and it's his "What I Should Have Said Was Nothing" Tour. And again, I just went back to the website and ALL SHOWS ARE SOLD-OUT EXCEPT THIS SUNDAY's LATE SHOW--which he just added. So, despite reports, Mike Birbiglia does have a heart. Actually those reports were just made up so I could transition from the previous sentence. Contact the DC Improv at 202-296-7008...now.

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And I quote...

I don't mean to just throw quotes up when I'm short on content...yes I do. I do . But I'm trying not to do it all the time...but I got another good one passed my way and I thought I'd share it. And I really hate myself for doing it...just like when my mother forwards me an email sent to her by Jesus...or sent to her, byjesus!

"Just because you're naked doesn't mean you're sexy. Just because you're cynical doesn't mean you're cool."
— Tom Robbins

The last part resonates with me. I'm still only around 5 years old comedy wise, and about 2 minutes old in the stand-up world. But in my on again, off again relationship with stand-up, I've sometimes see people who fall into that trap. Now that I think about it, I think anybody that wants to be "heard" can fall into cynicism too deeply, being cynical just for the sake of being cynical. I've seen myself try too, try to be angry--even really get into it...but its just not me. I'm certainly cynical, I don't know, it hasn't seemed to work for me. Who knows. I know, I know, comedy comes from pain, observation, and the need for justice, blah, blah, blah, blah. Its a balance, blah, blah, blah. Who the fuck cares. I do Mike. I do. Who are you? Dale. I live inside you. I am you innner voice. My inner voice's name is Dale?

I'm off to Portland for the rest of the week. The blog is yours Aparna.

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Chicago Loves Solly's!

This little bit was sent to me by Hillary Buckholtz who came across the article in "The Bastion". It is a write-up about the DC Comedy Fest penned by Robert Buscemi, it pretty much reads: Blah, Blah, Blah, Solly's was the greatest freaking thing ever and the rest of the fest should die along with any other fest but Solly's should always live in its undisputed greatness". Well, here it is exactly with a link to the entire article: The festival did one thing which I've never seen before, that I loved. They had a rough-and-ready upstairs bar ("Solly's") booked for all three nights from 7 to 11 PM for informal sets by festival comics, run by a couple of local DC comics. Like a Schuba's for the festival, and they'd put you up when they could and according to when you had to scram for a showcase. You could use notes and do newer stuff and noodle around and shoot the shniz with other comics at a casual, clubby show. Nice non-comic crowds when I was there too. Other fests would do well to copy this, since it meant you could get in an extra, looser show under your belt before your bigger showcases.



Hit the link button to see the entire article entirely in its entirety.
http://www.thebastion.org/2008/08/report_from_the_road_buscemi_i_2.html
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One More Night for Nicky Turner! Solly's Tonight!

COMEDY! GET YOUR ACE OVER TO SOLLY's TONIGHT! 1942 11th St, NW (11th and U St)- 202.232.6590 8:30 pm (might start a little later), but get there early as there will be a fully functioning bar, available seating and Grace Jones look alike!

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My Spec Script for MTV's "The Hills"

Everyone keeps telling me that I'm going to have to have a couple of spec scripts ready if I want anyone to look at my work or even have a shot at getting some work. So, a few minutes ago, I finally decided to get off my ass and get to work. I decided on MTV's "The Hills" because its so dynamic and it only took about 4 minutes to write. Hit the link to have a look:

Spec Script for “The Hills”

Ext. LA

Theme song

V/O: Spencer and Heidi are the outs. I’m back in with Jason. Audrina is sort of in the middle with Justin Bobby. Whitney swallowed a cat.

Int. Spencer’s Apartment

Spencer: Hey.

Heidi: Hey.

Spencer: (Looks at Heidi)

Heidi: (Raises eyebrows, crosses, arms and sort of swivels)

Spencer: Check out my iPhone.

Heidi: Wow. Its like a computer.

Spencer: Yeah, I can check email.

Heidi: Like on the internet?

Spencer: Yeah.

Commercial Break

Lauren walks into work. Whitney is sitting at a table already working.

Whitney: How was your weekend.

Lauren: It was…(rolls eyes)

Whitney: Yeah?

Lauren: Like yeah.

Whitney: Really? Wow.

Lauren: I know.

Whitney coughs up some fur.

Lauren: You know what I don’t get?

Whitney shakes her head.

Lauren: Like, guys.

Whitney: Really.

Lauren: Yeah.

Whitney: Yeah, I know it like guys like are sometimes like looking at you but they don’t always look at you. They look away too.

Lauren: Yeah, and its like, what are you looking at?

Whitney: And they’re like, not able to say like exactly.

Lauren: I know and then its like you want to know though.

Whitney: Yeah.

Lauren throws her face in her hands.

Whitney nods.

Commercial.

Ext. Patio at night, L.A. Audrina sits across from Justin Bobby

Audrina: I don’t like my food.

Justin Bobby: (Farts)

Audrina’s eyes get really big

Justin Bobby: You don’t like life you know.

Audrina: I like life. I just don’t like the food in my life.

Justin Bobby: That’s still like life you know.

Audrina: I know, I just want to like all of it.

Justin Bobby: You can’t like all the food you get because that wouldn’t be life—you know.

Audrina: Yeah.

Justin Bobby drinks

Audrina drinks

justin Bobby eats

Audrina eats

A car drives by

Audrina looks at Justin Bobby

Justin Bobby looks at Audrina

Audrina: I need to go to the bathroom.

Audrina leaves

Justin Bobby walks out of the restaurant.

Commerical

Int. Lauren’s apartment. Lauren and Audrina sit on the couch, drinking white wine. Audrina is kind of crying but also not really.

Lauren: So he just left.

Audrina nods

Lauren: The restaurant?

Audrina nods

Lauren: And you came out of the bathroom

Audrina nods

Lauren: And he was gone.

Audrina nods.

Lauren: You know its like guys are always not looking at us.

Audrina: Its like they see something but they don’t tell you.

Lauren: I know.

Audrina: I know.

Lauren: Yeah.

Audrina: Yeah.

Lauren: You want to stay over?

Audrina nods

Lauren gets out a small square shaped mirror and a razor blade.

Commerical

Spencer: So you want to leave, then leave.

Heidi: I am.

Spencer: Cool I don’t care.

Heidi: ok

Spencer sniffs

Heidi: God, its like you don’t know.

Spencer snorts

Heidi: And I’m just holding on to the air.

Spencer: Well, you might have to hold onto the air, just without me. Cause I got deal with gravity.

Heidi: Fine.

Spence: Fine.

They sit in silence

Hedi: Well

Spencer: Yeah, well.

Int. Lauren’s work, Whitney is sitting at her desk.

Lauren: Guess what?

Whitney: I don’t know what.

Lauren: I shouldn’t tell you.

Whitney: Ok

Lauren: You don’t mind?

Whitney: No

Lauren: That’s what I like about you, that you don’t mind.

Whitney: Yeah, well like I sort of just never mind.

Lauren: Yeah.

Witney: No

Lauren: What?

Whitney: I mean Yeah.

They giggle

END

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He Came, He Saw, He Left

Who is going to miss Nick Turner more: comics or temp agencies? He's leaving folks, after returning to DC last year from New York, he has decided to go back to New York. Apparently New York has a budding comedy scene and Nick wants to make sure he can cash in on it. So in honor of Dave Letterman, who Nick looks exactly alike, here are the Top 10 Reasons Nick Turner is leaving DC for New York:

10.) He has people looking for him from Rondstadt

9.) He has people looking for him from Kelly and Associates

8.) He has people looking for him from one morning when he was picked up outside of 7-11 by a man who said, "Hola, can you cut-oh el grass-oh?"

7.) He has people looking for him from Account Temps

6.) He has people looking for him from Blue Angels Massage and Spa

5.) He has people looking for him from the centerfield bathroom at Nationals Stadium

4.) His bar tab at "Martinis" in Dupont is as OUTRAGEOUS as his taste in shirts!

3.) He has people looking for him from Jamaica.

2.) The people at NY, NY Staffing Agency have no idea who he is.

1.) This chic Vanessa that still lives in Brooklyn, still gets so drunk that she needs to blow something before she can fall asleep.

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Thousands Show Up for Rhythmic Gymnastics Final in Effort to be Ironic

Beijing, China—Over thirteen-thousand people from all over the world packed the indoor stadium in Beijing to “watch” the Rhythmic Gymnastics final late Friday evening. It was estimated beforehand that outside of the participants taking part in the event, that somewhere between 30-35 people would show up for the event. However, early Friday morning Olympic officials started to notice that their 50 plus fold-out chairs were not going to hold as “family members” and “loved ones” showed up from regions across the globe to show their undying support for a sport that closely resembles that of children playing with sparklers.

One self-satisfied fan was Dave Nelson, 23, a senior at George Washington University who passed up tickets to see the USA Men’s Basketball team play Greece so that he would have this story to tell his friends back home.

“I’m so hilarious”, said Nelson who then pointed to his “Atari” T-shirt. “Check it. I own an X-box though” he explained.

Romania's Dominque Medved won gold, however the medal ceremony was interuppted when the event was declared over and people got up from their seats to leave.

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Waits for Reassurance

"My kids are starting to notice I'm a little different from the other dads. "Why don't you have a straight job like everyone else?" they asked me the other day. I told them this story: In the forest, there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. Every day, the straight tree would say to the crooked tree, 'Look at me...I'm tall, and I'm straight, and I'm handsome. Look at you...you're all crooked and bent over. No one wants to look at you.' And they grew up in that forest together. And then one day the loggers came, and they saw the crooked tree and the straight tree, and they said, 'Just cut the straight trees and leave the rest.' So the loggers turned all the straight trees into lumber and toothpicks and paper. And the crooked tree is still there, growing stronger and stranger every day." — Tom Waits

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"Super Best" Had The "Worst Week Ever"

"Super Best" of Washington Improv Theater won the "How the Fuck Do You Follow That?" Award at the Del Close Marathon at UCB Theater in New York City this past weekend. The DC trio (Mike Bass, Colin Murchie, Brian Coleman) followed Nick Kroll's character sketch, "Fabrice Fabrice, Craft Serives Coordinator for 'That's So Raven' and a collective of other comics including John Mulaney and TJ Miller. There was a slight oversight in the slotting of shows. 'Super Best' would have been better suited during the afternoon or evening hours of the festival where their show would have been given the chance to develop. Kroll's performance fit the mood of the hour--a party. It was bigger in presence, status, and characters, which made it a bit of a chore for the Washington based group to follow at 3:30 morning. If you click on the video (hit on the read more), you will see what the three DC players followed immediately as Kroll's show came to a close. How do you follow "Ahh Poppie Poop Poo, Ahh Poopie Pooh?" from a man in a dog suit? Bass, Coleman and Murchie deserve Comedy's Purple Heart. Folks sticking around that late at night on an early Sunday morning in a cramped, damp and HOT theater were more into the development of the party than any, narrative, relationship or character development that could be depicted on stage. To play at that slot, your show has to be over-the-top, in-your-face and not take itself too seriously. I know it was the lesson I learned: next time, rather than trying to do "good work", my time would be better spent just trying to have a good time....without a beer...jesus...no, I'm happy in my sobriety...just can, we talk about something else, please.

Notes from the show: *John Mulaney's George Takei (Sulu from Star Trek) was pretty F'n good. However, *TJ Miller (Carpoolers, Cloverfield, Quaker Oats Commercial, and GW Alum) did not seem to be having fun during this 15 minute segment. "Super Best" did have a good show despite the cold reception. Colin Murchie relayed later that as he left the stage in disgust he gave the evil-eye to what he thought allegedly was guy clapping and cheering out of sarcasm--he found out later that the poor guy was actually being serious. Follow Link to see video of show's closing...



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We're Comedy Champion of the Universe!--Yuh Huh, Nah Uh, Yuh Huh

Finally, someone said it. When it comes to humor, DC is better than Montreal. Goddamn it, I hate Montreal too. And finally this article...well it is certainly the end all be all. Just like if you made it into the DC Comedy Festival, you are probably, without a doubt, going to be star. And if you didn't make it into the DC Festival, you are without a doubt the biggest piece of walking shit on the planet--the only thing that smells worse that your ugly stupid retarded jacked up face--is your comedy, so go do us all a favor and move to Montreal because you and that city have a suckfest to get to.

This article from the Washington Post insinuates (Which means DECLARES) that DC is funnier than Montreal. And GQ, claimed Montreal was the funniest city over cities like New York, L.A., and Chicago. So by that reasoning that would make DC the Comedy Champion of the Universe! Because between the Washington Post and GQ who do you trust? There are only two things infallible on this earth, the Washington Post and theater critic Celia Wren--who writes for the Post!

DC now retires as Comedy Champion. So we are the champs and no one can take that away from us. No. No, New York, you can't play us because we retired. We won. Nuh uh, L.A, we retired, if you play New York for Comedy Champion it doesn't count. No, it doesn't count! Because we retired and we were the champion first. Yuh huh. The Washington Post said so. Chicago, get out of here. Why? Because you're a stupid cold city that shelters pompus butthole improvisers and we're the champs, so whatever we say goes. No! No one can play us! We retired. So you can't. You can never be champs. Never. Nuh uh. Mom said. Get off of me!!

Follow the Link to read the article

The Rant: DC Is the Funniest City...After Montreal?
When it comes to comedy, with all due respect, this month's GQ magazine has all the ham-handed insight of a Gallagher routine.We've no beef with Seth Rogen cracking the cover of the recent "Comedy Issue," you understand, and that Will Ferrell Script-O-Matic graphique is pretty swell. No, what convinces us that GQ's editors toked too much of Rogen's own stash comes down to one sole pick: the mag's choice for "Funniest City."

New York? Nope. L.A. or Chi-Town? Go fish, friend-o. No, some rogue Canuck apparently infiltrated the editorial offices at Times Square or hacked their Macs, because their civic pick is: Montreal. Mon-tre-AL! (As the "South Park"-ers like to sing: "Blame Canada.")
Now, normally we would not so belittle our fine French-speaking friends to the north (and ambassador Michael Wilson looks like a tres-pleasant gent in person, near as we could glimpse).

But here's the thing: As we spoke with folks at the DC Comedy Fest over the weekend, we became convinced: Comedically, Montreal has absolutely nothing on Washington.
We asked a number of festgoers who write material -- including the occasional comic gag -- to tick off the continent's "funniest cities" (criteria that umbrella both performer pool and quality-of-audiences). We heard the usual suspects: N.Y., L.A., Chicago, Boston, Toronto, with nods also to San Francisco and Atlanta.

What about this nation's capital? Some comics were willing to consider the city's potential. After we conceded most of the entire 20th century to the Big Apple and hailed the Windy City as the everlasting king of improv, we offered this, to wit:

In terms of standup performers -- talents with regional ties who really blossomed in THIS decade -- the D.C. region's opening bid includes Dave Chappelle, Lewis Black and Wanda Sykes, who all crack Comedy Central's "Top 100" List of Best-Ever standups (issued in 2004). Martin Lawrence and Mo'Nique must also be name-checked (and we're not even dipping into the next tier of veterans, a la Tommy Davidson). And consider that Comedy Central is said to be high on rising comic Red Grant, and that Howard University's Erin Jackson is getting second looks on such shows as "Last Comic Standing."

And why do we delve into all this, exactly, in a comics blog? Because a community's humorists -- including smart cartoonists -- can feed off that vibe and reputation and audience receptivity. If Aaron "Boondocks" McGruder can grow his talent here before heading to L.A. (in the land that also has Frank "Liberty Meadows" Cho and Richard "Cul de Sac" Thompson, among many talented others), then it bodes well for the future of Washington's 'tooning community.

Don't let GQ get the last %$#@ laugh. Pardon our French, but we need someone to blame besides Canada.

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His Wrath Continues...

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Tuesday's a Gonner

Two Things: 1.) Some of you have been inquiring that your blog comments have not been appearing right away, thats because we have decided to moderate them as not to let the venom of a few poison us all. Leave that to our comedy on stage. We still encourage honest comments and trust me those will be posted...but personal grudges and battles that should be settled in person as men/women will have to be done St. Elsewhere (Sorry, I was briefly possessed by Aparna).

2.) Blood, sweat and tears baby, that's what cutting your teeth in comedy is all about. Nick Turner is now proud owner of the holy trinity of paying your dues. Now, I know Nick sweats. And I've heard him actually cry during a set. Now, he can add blood to it.
If you were at Ike's last night you know what happened. If you were not, I'll save Nick's ego a bit and just say that it happened when he was pulling the microphone off the stand and it must of been stuck some how because he really used all of his strength and when he finally did get the microphone out of the clip, the force was so great, that he ended up jabbing the mic into his eye socket, thus creating the gash you see in the picture. Other than that, you'll have to ask him yourself.

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Cleese, Idle, Palin...Lachey.

Yeah, I understand nothing about the business.

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DC, NY, Over the Hill

I leave town for 3 days and you'd think comedian Dave Hill was the new suspect in the Anthrax case...well, at least among local comics. I laid a steaming, hot, lead turd on the stages of UCB yesterday in New York City. I know I'm better than what I've displayed and still have more potential to explore...I'm wondering if Dave Hill and the other folks at the DC Comedy Fest-Industry show feel similar. I know I don't want to be judged by one performance. The more you know...

(Local Comic finishes reading this...contemplates it...then throws his arm across the computer desk, knocking over laptop, empty Yuengling bottles, ash stained coffee mugs, and bar napkins inked in forsaken genius...pounds fists on desk, knocking over remaining lamp and pens...tears start to well, looks in mirror above desk, stares at aging face...in reflection sees old copy of "The Comedy Bible" on bookshelf...has mellow dramatic moment with himself, swivels around and takes book down off of shelf, ominously opens to page with "A Contract for Yourself Not to Quit"...footsteps start to walk downstairs...comic startled, starts to zip up his pants but then realizes he wasn't masturbating...mother looks from bottom step with smile, sets down plate of cookies and glass milk...rubs comics head)

Mom: You'll always be my little Johnny Carson.

Comic starts to sob uncontrollably, grabs mother's apron and buries face into it.

Mother looks at son's picture of Margaret Cho on wall

Mom: Goddamn you. (If you have any thoughts, insights or photos from your experiences at the DC Comedy Fest or Del Close Marathon, send'em our way and we'll post them up)

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DC Comedy Fest, Wedding Dresses (And maybe a homeless guy)

I'm not doubting the "artistic" vision side of this segment...however, I am doubting the "vision" aspect...and using 'vision' as literally as possible.


ps. watch the whole thing to see all the local comedians.

video courtesy of DC Compass

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Come for Rob, Stay for Temple

Hi DC Comedy 4 Now,

I was born in DC (Georgetown Woman's Hospital), Saw my first live Comedy performance ( Bill Cosby at The Cap Center, during the Height Of The Cosby Show),Went to Brent Elementary in SE, was arrested by a security guard at 13 for stealing cassette tapes out of Sam Goodie at Union Station, Was thrown out the Hawk N Dove, oldest Bar in DC, at 17, for throwing up all over bar, Know a Guy that knows a guy that went to school with the sister of someone in Minor Threat. Mom, Sister and Brother all live in DC, plus many nephews. I know who Chuck Brown is.
Love if you could show some love for my show.

Peace.

Rob

Thursday 8/7/08
THE DC COMEDY FEST PRESENTS
"Hysterical Vibrations" with Rob Cantrell
This is an one of a kind comedy and musical experience blending a Stand-Up Comedy Show with one of the best upcoming reggae/rock bands from The DC Area at a historic synagogue.
Staring: Comedian Rob Cantrell
Featuring: Comedian Michelle Buteau
SPECIAL MUSICAL GUEST: LIONIZE
Lionize will play a very special Instrumental/Dub set to open the show while the audience takes their seats and then return with a longer set with vocals after the comics perform.
7:30 PM, Doors Open at 7:00 PM
Tickets Are 14.00 dollars
Sixth & I Historic Synagogue 600 I Street

N.W.Washington D.C. 20001202/408-3100

Follow the link to learn more about Rob and fellow guest artists...

Based in Brooklyn, NY, Rob Cantrell's comedy comes from his heart, as well as many other complex organs in his body. His act has an intelligent edge without being pretentious, hilariously unpredictable but always fluid.

Rob's comedic journey started as wild-haired kid in the DC Public School System. He achieved nirvana at a young age when a bad babysitter let him watch Eddie Murphy's first Stand-Up special "Delirious." He moved to a small town in Virginia, where a deep Southern flair and tobacco-chewing 6th graders added to the hilarity. Following a brief boarding school stint, remembered fondly by Rob as "a lot like college, but with less drinking and more drugs."
After graduating from Denison University with an English degree and a taste for great writing, Rob landed in San Francisco in 1999. He began performing stand-up in dive bars and Laundromats before landing solid gigs in top comedy clubs and performing with 'The Jazz Man Mega-Band of Power,' a free-form sax/bass/kazoo comedy outfit.

After only three years of performing, Rob auditioned for the first season of NBC's Last Comic Standing and became a Top 10 Finalist, which led to touring the country and gigs at top notch venues. A high point was selling out the historic Great American Music Hall in San Francisco in 2003. In 2005, Rob relocated to Brooklyn, where he has been performing ever since.
Rob has appeared on several major networks, including CBS, VH1 and Comedy Central. His 2005 documentary/performance "Metaphysical Graffiti -A Road Movie" was screened at the Cannes Film Festival along side punk rock documentaries. His cannabis cult-like following has lead him to headline the 2006 High Times Comedy Festival in both SF and NYC, and tour with 'The Marijuana-logues' in 2007, a live comedy show on pot culture. When not on the road, Rob can be found in New York City performing at the top clubs and improve theaters like Caroline's, Comix and Upright Citizens Brigade.

Rob Cantrell is complex to the point of being simple, and his background is diverse enough to resonate with just about everyone. More than anything, he is himself, and uses his life's wide-ranging influences to push the boundariesof comedic creativity.

Rob's Myspace:
http://www.myspace.com/robcantrell

Featuring: Comedian Michelle Buteau
Fresh from The Bonnaroo Arts Festival, Michelle can also be seen on Comedy Central`s Premium Blend and this season`s Last Comic Standing on NBC. Catch her on stage when you can and see comedy`s mistress blend her Jamaican-Haitian sassiness and girl-next door quality into a show that is anything but routine.

Michelle's Myspace
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=38052083

LIONIZE
Lionize started when four high school friends in Maryland got together to have fun in their parent's basement with the goal of picking up girls by performing music. Drawing on their mutual love of reggae acts like Steel Pulse, Bob Marley, Toots, and Capleton and rock groups like The Police, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, and Black Sabbath, the band sought out to create a new sound in reggae and a new sound in rock.

LIONIZE's Myspace:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=7284972
http://www.dccomedyfest.com/dccf/home.html
http://www.sixthandi.org/

Sixth & I Historic Synagogue600 I Street N.W.Washington D.C. 20001202/408-3100

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Once, Twice, Three Times a Rory

The Source Theater at 7:30pm doing improv with Dr. Fantastic.

Solly's Tavern at 9:00pm doing standup for the festival

DC Improv at 10:00pm doing standup for the festival

ALL SHOWS 8/7/08

Please inquiry with Rory for the "Rory Festival Pass", includes all 3 shows, transportation to and from shows with Rory in Rory's car, meals with Rory, breaks with Rory, photos with Rory, 20 minute power nap with Rory, making a wish in a fountain with Rory, wine tasting with Rory, skipping with Rory, laundry with Rory, saying "Rory" with Rory, a selected reading from Rory, creeping with Rory, staring with Rory, and being left by Rory.

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From Andy Rothwell and Live Humans

Mat and the Family Hemerlein are hosting a show this Wednesday (Aug. 6) at the Palace of Wonders - the show's gonna include the trumpeting of Joe Brotherton, DJing of the Nouveau Riche, and the usual from Sheena Alexis, Bryson Turner...
The open mic is back at the Electric Maid this Tuesday (268 Carroll Ave. in Takoma Park), with featured artist AMERICAN SINNER (www.myspace.com/americansinner). I'm going to bring a lot of beer to this one, no more summer nights where we're all together playing music and telling jokes and everyone's thirsty. Seriously, if you come this week, you're drinking some of it.
And the next Tuesday (Aug 12) it's back at the Palace of Wonders, with featured act MIKE BLEJER (www.youtube.com/user/MikeBlejer). And I think that evening there's going to be a special performance by the creator of the Palace of Wonders' own DUTCH OVEN BURLESQUE, L'IL DUTCH herself. Check out the Washington Post article from the other day that talked about her show: www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2008/07/18/ST2008071801960.html.

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Jesus, this is Rediculous

‘ridiculous’ is not spelled ‘rediculous’
‘ridiculous’ is not spelled ‘rediculous’
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DC? Comedy Fest Workshops and Classes

KNOW YOUR RIGHTS WORKSHOP DATE/TIME: FRIDAY, AUGUST 8TH 12:00-1:30pm LOCATION: DLA Piper US, LLP @ 500 Eighth Street, NW.

The classic up-and-comer dilemma: you don't want to give it all away for free ... but you don't want to miss a big opportunity for exposure either! Three prominent DC entertainment attorneys give an overview for comedic performers, screenwriters and filmmakers; let you know which deals & practices are standard in the industry, and which you should walk away from; and take your questions. All proceeds from the seminar to benefit Washington Area Lawyers for the Arts www.thewala.org. dccf performers and volunteers price: $8 General public price: $10

IMPROV WORKSHOP: The Power of Fearless Support DATE/TIME: SATURDAY, AUGUST 9TH @ 11AM LOCATION: The Comedy Spot, Ballston Mall (Arlington, VA/Ballston stop on ORANGE LINE) Master improvisers Rebecca, Jean and Deb co-teach a workshop that caters to smaller groups and troupes. Don't worry, if you're not currently in a troupe, we'll form them in the workshop! You'll walk away knowing how to experience true support, make bolder choices, take more risks, listen more actively, with your whole body, and create and support a group mind. About the instructors: Jean Villepique has taught improvisation classes, workshops and corporate workshops for the Second City, the Magnet Theater and the Chicago Improv Festival. She has lived and worked in Chicago, New York, and Los Angeles, where she currently teaches writing and improvisation for The Second City LA. Rebecca Sohn has been teaching improv for 12 years. In Chicago she performs and teaches for The Second City and The Annoyance. She has taught workshops in NY, Phladelphia, Boston, and Chicago independently and for various festivals in addition to corporate workshops all over the country. Debra Downing has taught improv in various forms for the last 14 years in Austin, Chicago, New York, Boston, Philadelphia and many places in between. She has directed improv shows, sketch shows and one person shows at The Second City, Improv Olympic and Annoyance theaters. Her favorite is the Switchboard workshop with Jean and Rebecca. dccf performers and volunteers price: $48 General public price: $60

TOUGH LOVE: WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO MAKE IT AS A STAND UP DATE/TIME: SATURDAY, AUGUST 9TH 12:30-2:00PM LOCATION: Hotel Helix "Casting" conference room. 1430 Rhode Island Avenue, NW. In this seminar, EDDIE BRILL, comedian and comedy booker for THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN gives you the benefit of his experience. You'll learn what it takes not only to make it onto the best late night shows as a stand up, but also what it takes to build a long lasting, successful comedy career. Presentation includes a question and answer session with Mr. Brill. dccf performers and volunteers price: $8 General public price: $10

SIGN UP @ www.dccomedyfest.com (left side of screen, click on "Classes and Panels")

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The Best Kind of Hilarious

This is my favorite type of funny...funny when the person is trying to be dead serious. Sports writers and the people that talk about sports become so enamored with themselves and their own opinions. I'm a die-hard Skins fan...but this article is still rediculous. I've never heard of someone lamenting the fact that they don't get to hear Michael Irvin, John Madden or Deon Sanders talk at any sort of great length. Alex Marvez's Hilarious Hall of Fame Article

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Jesus Christ

Well, its Sunday, so I thought I'd give it up to Jesus and print a retraction: "Solly's Tavern is the only place to find all of the performers on the same stage including the best DC performers snubbed by the selection committee."

I received the email about the Solly's shows, and in my laziness and apathy, didn't really consider how the statement above is actually for the most part incorrect, until I read the comments below and agreed with some. The discussion regarding the fest this past week on the site has been good and its been intersting to hear both sides of the argument. But as it wore on, I realized more and more, how I just didn't care, for the most part the community doesn't care and the rest of the world doesn't care...I think it was while I was listening to Collin Cowturd on 980 go on and on about Brett Farve, and blah, blah, blah, that I realized that nobody really gives a shit about it (Farve), except the people that want to keep talking about it because they need to or they won't have anything else to talk about. Well, people in Green Bay care about Brett Farve. Thats about it. And its just like this festival...some, tiny faction of people in DC care and thats about it. And just like if Brett Farve plays this year for Green Bay or not, life goes on and its just not that important. Except media whores, this site included, who need to stir shit up so people will pay attention to them.

(Cue "South Park" Closing Music Bed) You see, I learned something today, comedy is a business, and businesses do their best to try and make money. As in business, just like in comedy, you're not going to please everybody. Often in comedy, you hear people say, "Its just a joke", well, the same way with showcases, "Its just a festival"--there will be others. And even if you made it into a festival, it doesn't make or break you--the consistent hard work is always what makes someone. And really, who gives a shit? Really. Really, who really, really, really gives a shit. Life keeps moving with or without any of these festivals. It's like Brett Farve's retirement, who really cares? The rest of the world is moving right along and enjoying life, maybe we should enjoy ours.

Cartmen: God, you're such a fag, Mike.
Type rest of the post here

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SOLLY'S FEST! Aug. 5th, 7th, 8th, and 9th!!!

August 5th - DC COMEDY FEST PREVIEW SHOW8:30-10:30 Free The best of DC. Appearing:

Aparna Nancherla, Jon Mumma, Hampton Yount, Kojo Mante, Bryson Turner, Jason Weems, Jay Hastings, John McBride And hosted by Nick Turner

August 7th, 8th & 9th - DC COMEDY FEST PRESENTS "TOP SHELF" 7:00-10:30 $5

The best comedians in the country are coming to DC!

Almost four hours of hilarity each night!

Hosted by Nick Turner and Jay Hastings with additional help from: Eddie Brill, Rory Scovel, Jared Logan, Kumail, Lisa Fine, Will Hessler, TJ Miller, Brooke Van Poppelen, Sean Crespo, Mike Blejer, Kyle Martin, Jared Stern, Michael Foody, Cassidy Hennehan, Neil Stastny, Mark Normand, Zachary Sims, Seaton Smith, Elon James White, Reese Waters, Brady Novak, Jason Saenz, Rob Maher, Travis Irvine, Eli Sairs, Andy Kline, Myq Kaplan, Tyler Sonnichson, Matt McCarthy, Joselyn Hughes, Brent Sullivan, Baron Vaughn, and many more...

Solly's Tavern is located at 11th & U sts. NW

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Hosted by JAKE YOUNG

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The Chris Farley Show

Submitted by Shawn Westfall, DC stand-up, improviser and teacher at the DC Improv, regarding the latest book published regarding the life of the late comedian Chris Farley.
One of the more poignant and telling anecdotes from The Chris Farley Show, the new biography of the late Chris Farley, comes from Bob Odenkirk. Odenkirk, a writer for “Saturday Night Live” during Farley’s tenure as a cast member who would later partner with David Cross as part of HBO’s “Mr. Show, tells of an evening in which Farley was in Odenkirk's apartment, drunk. Many friends testified that Farley would often drink himself into a kind of energized hysteria and then proceed, in a kind of humorous, stylized ritual, to destroy the furniture. (Click on "Read More" to read the rest of Westfall's review)

Any one of Farley’s friends could be a potential victim: the evening would start as an innocent get together, and end with a sweaty, wild-eyed Farley violently dismantling a futon. These binges later became the staple of any SNL sketch Farley was in, but on this particular evening it was Odenkirk’s turn to look on helplessly as Farley turned his dinette set into firewood. Mid-ritual, Farley paused, looked desperately at Odenkirk, and asked with an earnest, child-like innocence, “Odie, do you think Belushi's in heaven?"

With his work now scorched into our collective consciousness (was there a frat boy in the ‘90s who couldn’t do a version of Matt Foley, Farley’s “motivational speaker”?) it’s not difficult for us to imagine Chris Farley in our living rooms seismically dismantling the second-hand sofa bed.

But the other Chris, the earnest, child-like one, is a bit more difficult to imagine. And yet so many of Farley’s friends testify that it was not only there, but it was actually the key to Chris Farley’s character. This was the Chris that people loved, the aspect of his character that helped friends and family look past those times – at first infrequent, and then not – when his drug and alcohol addictions made him violent and unbalanced. The poet, critic and lexicographer Samuel Johnson once wrote that “inconsistencies cannot both be right, but, imputed to man, they may both be true.”

If The Chris Farley Show is anything, it’s an attempt to catalogue and resolve those inconsistencies, inconsistencies that are in all of us, to be sure, but which were especially pronounced in Chris Farley.

We know about his work. And we’re all too familiar with Farley’s final few months and days: the all-too-frequent relapses, the booze and drug binges that cost him friendships and eventually his life; his final few hours, which made tabloid headlines. But brother Tom Farley and writer Tanner Colby seem to have written (though “culled together from interviews” would be more accurate) this book to rescue from those tabloid headlines the memory of a man whose heart was apparently as big as his appetites, whose generosity was informed by a deeply ingrained Catholic faith that never left him, and who felt that his gift – to make people laugh – was a moral obligation.

The side of Chris that few saw, a side that surprised even those who thought they knew him well, involved his devout Catholicism. Even at the height of his SNL popularity, Farley was usually at Mass every Sunday seeking expiation for his sins from the evening before. Fellow cast member Siobhan Fallon (pictured below) recalls frequently seeing him at Mass (they went to the same church) where Farley would sheepishly look up from prayers to tell her "God's gonnna be mad at me this time."

This faith informed his volunteer work at a local NYC Catholic charity, something he also did without any fanfare. Indeed, at his funeral as well as at numerous memorial services, people came forward to testify to Chris' generosity: at old folks homes, where he helped load wheelchair-ridden people up and down ramps and into passenger vans; at children's hospitals, where he frequently entertained entire wards; the Chicago Bears hat that Chris wore in the "Super Fans" sketch, which should rightly belong in the Smithsonian, instead became the property of a homeless man that Chris befriended during his stay in New York City, whom he would also frequently take out to dinner and to the theater, and who tearfully testified at Chris' memorial service a year after his death that it was the last thing Chris gave him.

Lifelong friends and relatives, fellow cast members were floored when this side of Farley came to light: he told practically no one about it.

This generosity extended to his fellow actors and writers. Nearly everyone -- writers, actors, castmates, hosts – talked in detail about Chris' generosity onstage as both a performer and someone who wanted to make a writer's material work. Much has already been written about the competitive culture that Lorne Michaels foments at SNL, where both performers and writers are pitted against each other in a cutthroat effort to see who rises to the challenge week after week; combine this with the already competitive nature of comedians in general, and its easy to understand how SNL continues to produce, alongside some very funny people, some people whose public behavior is downright awful: Chevy Chase, Joe Piscopo, Eddie Murphy.

By all accounts, Chris was different. "At read-through," Siobhan Fallon (pictured right) says, "people would purposefully not laugh at something even though it was funny, because they wanted something else to make it on the show. But Chris would laugh no matter what.... He didn't discriminate. He was honest."

Norm McDonald: "I don't think Chris knew how to hate. .... I’d be complaining and I'd go 'You know who sucks?' And I'd go off about so-and-so, some guy on the show. And Chris would immediately go 'I think he's funny, Norm. Why don't you like him?'"

Writer David Mandel: "He always went out of his way to make sure people knew what material was yours, that they were your jokes, and he was just the guy who said the lines." Chris' talent?

SNL Writer Fred Wolf: Comics are a pretty strange breed. Put all of us in a room and we can fight among ourselves and disagree with all our bitterness and neuroses. But when it came to Farley, it was unanimous: he was the best.

Norm McDonald: What astonished me about Chris was that he could make everyone laugh. He could make a child laugh. He could make an old person laugh. A dumb person, a smart person. A guy who loved him, a guy who hated him.

Very few hated Chris, and many loved him. But in the end, the desire to be -- and the ability to be -- the funniest person in the room, any room, wasn't enough. The gifts he felt compelled to use, either out of some sense of religious duty or some deep-seeded need to be loved, eventually proved to be his undoing. And as close as they were to him, the authors don't spare Farley here. We see the alcohol and drugs eventually taking their toll on his friends, his work, and finally his life. He died on December 18,1997. He was 33.

His death is often compared with John Belushi’s: Two large men, both from the Midwest, both SNL standouts, the funniest men of their generation, both victims of drug overdoses. And Farley apparently idolized Belushi and romanticized Belushi's life – as well as his death. But while Belushi's death seemed emblematic of the excessive times he lived in -- hell, who wasn't on drugs in the early '80s? -- Farley's seems much more tragic, frustratingly so: with so much talent, energy, and generosity, Chris Farley was surrounded by people who loved and adored him unreservedly, people who had experienced at first hand what had happened to Belushi, people who deeply understood what was happening to him, and were still powerless to do anything about it.

The Chris Farley Show is both a hilarious and heartbreaking object lesson in what it takes to be the funniest person in the room -- and what it sometimes costs.

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