Here is a tale from the comedy crypt. It is also a heartchilling warning about the true test of friendship.
I was at an open mic the other night, and one of the newer comics brought a bunch of his friends to watch him (they made up the majority of the audience). They definitely laughed long and enthusiastically at all of his jokes moreso than for anyone else who went up (though overall they were not a bad audience by any means).
However, I overheard a convo between two of his so-called "friends" in the bathroom right after his set.
It went a little something like this:
"Friend" 1: So what did you think of him?
"Friend" 2: Well...I didn't think he was very good at all.
"Friend" 1: Yeah, I know...me neither.
"Friend" 2: He was so nervous! Stand up comedians aren't supposed to be nervous!
"Friend" 1: You could do better than he did!
"Friend" 2: I really could, couldn't I? I should try it sometime. I already have an act pretty much.
Also, let it be said that peeing was occurring on behalf of both parties the whole time and they knew full well I was in there eavesdropping on them! That's really what sealed the deal of impropriety for me.
photo courtesy of Flickr and Simon Davison
Horrific. I mean I guess it was nice of them to laugh during his set, but the post-show rundown managed to undo all of their good deeds and community service.
Meanwhile I felt like the maid who heard and saw too much!
I considered outing them for two seconds, but then I realized how much unnecessary harm I would do so I finished restocking the paper towel dispensers and I hightailed it outta there.
Please share your family and friend comedy horror stories. Or don't. I understand the pain is real and retains freshness far past the tell-by date.