I hated to see 2007 go, but I love watching 2008 walk my way. The waning months and days of 2007 treated me very kindly. I had a lot of quality shows, I wrote some good jokes, and raised some money for cancer through comedy. (yeah, I am a generous, humble person who doesn’t do things for recognition.) 2007 marked my second anniversary in comedy. I had more shows in 2007. I traveled more in 2007 for comedy. I met more comedians and became friends with more comics in 2007. My mom got cancer in 2007. I made $78,000 doing comedy in 2007. Guess which one was the only downer in 2007? And guess which one I just lied about. Anyway, for the most part 2007 was a benevolent year that smoothly transitioned me through another year of my life. There was some downs, but mostly there were ups. I’d like to tell you a little bit about both. Hold on tight cause The Ghost of 2007 Past is warming up his story-telling voice.
[Hit the jump, sons!]
FEB 1 – 3: Rory Scovel and myself performed together at the Baltimore Comedy Factory. It was a good time and I remember performing stoned the last night, just to see if I could do it. I did it and it was super duper fun balls. (I don’t do that very often, but it was fun)
FEB 28th: Performed a guest set at American University for the DC Improv’s Funniest College Student Competition. Imagine performing comedy in front of retarded kids in a glitter factory. It was not fun, but it was made fun by watching Jon Mumma yell at the stupid college kids. Hilarious!
March 1st: Performed at the Arlington Cinema Drafthouse. I ate a MONSTER of a cock. I shit the stage. It was awful.
MARCH 3rd: Saw Zach Galifianakis at Lisner Auditorium with Rob Cantrell. It was great!
MARCH 26 – 28: Rory Scovel and I got booked to perform down in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina at the Hilton Resort. They gave us each our own $500 a night suite. The downside was that there was no one in the audience with a properly functioning prostate or a moist vagina. Hence, there were a lot of awkward moments. However, I got a blowjob that weekend and it was lovely.
APRIL: Had a smattering of shows that did not really put a wrinkle in my brain. I do remember performing at Georgetown University and there being a very hot Asian girl in the crowd. Also, the DC Comedy Festival happened. I met a lot of comics from Canada.
MAY: I got into a fight with Curt Shakelford via email and got banned from ALL of his shows. Boy, did I get a good laugh out of that. Also, I didn’t loose ANY stage time.
JUNE: My sister got married and my mom got cancer. YAY then BOO!!!
JULY 20 – 21: Justin Schlegel, Jon Mumma, and myself performed at Riot Act Comedy “Club”. John X the owner stiffed me on my pay quoting, “I don’t pay emcees”. He also shorted Mumma on his pay, only to pay him the full amount months later. He also tossed me $50 for my 4 show effort. THANKS JOHN!!!
AUG 3 – 4: Rory Scovel and I sold out The Warehouse Theater in Greenville, South Carolina. It was an amazing show. Then on the 4th we played J.C. Fiddlers, which is a little hole in the wall bar. It was not great. No air conditioning, plus warm beer = shitty time for audience and short attention spans. They did not care for us.
SEPT: Nothing really happened. I taped a thing for Comcast, but who doesn’t get picked to do that show?
OCT: I got to open one show at the DC Improv for Daniel Tosh because Tim Miller had some car issues which caused him to be late. Thank you Tim’s shitty old car!
NOV 9th: I got to perform in Norman, Oklahoma. I got to open up for my friends rock band “Galapagos” and it was a blast. I got heckled during my last joke and I burned him down. He just kept saying, “You ain’t funny!” After the show he told me, “Jesus don’t like to be made fun of, and I don’t like you makin’ fun of Jesus. Dat type-a thang can get yo ass kicked!” Then he pushed me. What a faggot. BOMMER SOONER!!
DEC: This month was CRAZY! First we kicked off with Rory Scovel’s DVD taping at Dr Dremos. Kojo Mante, Jon Mumma, and myself were “special guests”, because otherwise Curt would never have Kojo and I on a show. Next up we had POONANZA 5! That show kicked ass. I once again took my clothes off and embarrassed my families good name. Then Justin Schlegel, Jon Mumma, and I rocked the Arlington Cinema Drafthouse. It was a really fun show. Then Rory Scovel and I went back down to South Carolina for our annual Christmas Show. We selected a charity to donate 50% of ticket sales to. The charity was Clement’s Kindness and it goes to help families with children with cancer. That show was the best performance I’ve done and it might just be the best thing I’ve ever done. It feels good to give something to anyone. And once again Justin Schlegel, Jon Mumma, and myself performed New Years Eve weekend at the Baltimore Comedy Factory. We destroyed that fucking place. From Thursday – Saturday ( 7 SHOWS ) we CRUSHED! It was a blast.
So, that was the highlights of my 2007. I hope you enjoyed it and learned something. I know I did.