I was hanging out with my old friend, Julie Poteet, last night and during the course of conversation we started remembering some of our favorite iMusical moments. We were both in the opening run of iMusical last year. Which was very excited because DC had never done a long term improv musical show before and Travis Pleoger (who directed I Eat Pandas and Chicago City Limits) wanted to get something started with WIT. We auditioned and both started having alot of fun together. One particular show we both loved was when Colin Murchie (as a bear) ate my character who was suppose to have a romantic meeting with Julie's character later in the show. So, instead of letting that love interest die i sang a song to Julie from Colin's stomach. It was really fun and unexpected and that is what you get every performance of iMusical every time.
Tonight iMusical comes onstage at 8pm at the WIT theater (Flashpoint) in Chinatown with another completely made up musical on the spot. Yes, songs. Yes, lyrics. Yes, characters and music. All on the spot. It really is a unique and incredibility delightful (oh!) show. They have four more weeks of shows before they perform again in 2008. So check them out while you can.
Buy Tickets here! Read more!
Welcome to Your Comedy Layover...
Friday, September 28, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Washington Improv Theater kicks off their THIRD week of the Fall Run tonight with THREE great shows for you to enjoy.
First, is Exes and Ohs. You have read me raved about this show, you may have heard them on WAMU radio or you might have seen Justin and Natasha teaching a class or playing in One Sixty One. Or you may have not. Do your self a favor and check them out tonight.
Then they are followed by the The Lodge. A look into the sinister side of secret societies.
That is all capped off by One Sixty One, one of WIT's premier troupes. They are always fantastic. Seriously, guaranteed.
I know I will be there tonight. Also, nobody probably cares but I will be at Rocket Bar on 7th Street beforehand celebrating be-latedly, my 28th Birthday. (You are right Jason, know one cares). But please come see the shows.
916 G Street NW, Washington DC 20004
Buy Tickets Here! Read more!
The Bomb Shelter at 18th & Red is the home of the best local DC comics.
great drink specials with:
Thursday Nights at 9pm
18th and Red
2436 18th St. NW, Washington, DC 20009
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Never understood the term HUMP DAY. I assume to refers to a Bell-Curve, in which the middle part of the week is the highest point of the curve, thus the hump. But in actuality, the weekends (the two ends of the curve) are the best parts of my week. So i would like to think they are the "peaks", therefore thecurve would be inverted. I would then call Wednesday "Titty Fuck Day."
Open Mics for tonight are:
RENDEZVOUS in Adams Morgan, DC. Organized by our boys John McBride and Jeffrey Adrian. $3 drink and beer specials. Sign-up by e-mailing firstname.lastname@example.org.
Address: 2226 18th St. NW, Washington, DC 20009
DR. DREMO'S TAPHOUSE in Clarendon, Virginia. To sign up e-mail CurtShackelford@ verizon.net.
Address: 2001 Clarendon Blvd., Arlington VA 22201
WONDERLAND BAR AND GRILL in Columbia Heights, DC. Organized and hosted by Kacie Wade. Sign-up by e-mailing email@example.com.
Address: 1101 Kenyon St. NW, Washington, Washington, DC 20010
Get out to some of these tonight folks. Happy Titty Fuck day to ye'. Read more!
Monday, September 24, 2007
***I was staning behind a guy in Subway today when he let loose and blew ass. He didn't even flench. He just unlock his gas pipe and pushed out a toxic cloud of sulfur. I was completely shocked, and somewhat admiring of this nasty bastards courage to rip a huge fart in public. As soon as it came out of his ass I started to worry that I would be blamed for it. Because in my mind he didn't look like a public farter, and I think I do. Everyone in that Subway is wearing a tie with slacks and I've got on a t-shirt, dirty olive green chinos, sporting flip-flops, and weating a ball cap. I assume everyone in there thinks I'm the farter, because I look like the poor bastard that didn't learn when and where to fart. But I just start to look around and sorta make eye contact with people as if to silently convey, "Did you just hear what this motherfucker did? He farted! He publically broke wind and violated our olfactory system. Please, believe me when I gesture with my eyes that I am innocent of this." Then I realized I pretty much hate everyone in that goddamn line and wouldn't even care if they thought I was the Anit-Christ. And then I wished I could fart but I can only burp on demand, and that's just tacky.
***I have been going to this imaging store to make flyers for over a year and a half. They all know me in there, except this one bastard who refuses to acknowledge the fact that he recognizes me. Everytime he has to help me he looks at me like we've met in another life, and then goes, "Hi, how may I help you sir?" FUCK YOU! You know my goddamn face. Knock the "sir" shit off and gimme the usaual you smug shithead. I hate that "sir" shit. He's 49 years old and younger than his grandkids and he calls me "sir". Gross and not needed. Instead of treating me like a regular customer he's put me on this alter of glorified customer and now I feel sory for the bastard because he calls me "sir". I'd prefer him saying, "Hey motherfucker you got you stupid ass fliers for us to enlarge? You can pick 'em tomorrow faggot!" I'd like that because it's like I have a friend on the inside; not some smug, propper "yes man" on the inside who'll never break the rules for me. I WANT A REBEL MAKIN' MY COPIES!!!
***I don't know how the people that work in Starbucks, Caribou Coffee, or anything other coffee shop can't be aware that there are homeless people sitting in there establishment. I can't stand seeing homeless people inside coffee shops. And it's not because I have some sort of hatered towards them, it's just that I don't want to feel depressed when I'm getting a goddamn cup of coffee. I'm going inside for a pick me up, not to be reminded that and I quote "goddamn fikus tree better not tell the marbles that the weatherman said it's gonna be another hot one...marbles don't like to sweat!" Make it a triple espresso because the dude with a dreadlock the shape of a beaver tail as pissed on my morning sunshine. I walked into Caribou this morning and BAM homeless lady eyeballing me as soon as I walk in. Well, I can't bluff my "no change" excuse as I'm fumbling for exact change because I know my medium Americano is $2.87 on the dot. Plus, it wasn't even hot today. It was a really nice morning. I would have totally sat outside and enjoyed my coffee if I didn't have to be at work. What the hell was she doing wasting of the few goods it is to be homeless? That's frustrating. If it's 72 with a gentle breeze outside...enjoy being homeless. It's literally NOT going to rain on your parade. HAHA...I wonder how many homeless have been having a parade in their head and it started raining and they're like "FUCK, FUCK, FUCK YOU BARBRA STREISAND!!!"
***That show "Little People, Big World" is great. However, I like watching it high because every time their normal sized kids come on screen it's like I'm watching that Geico commericial where the house is super tiny. I feel sorry for those kids. That's gotta suck. Also, I don't like the fact that the midgets call normal people "average" height. That's got to be the most fucked up math. There aren't that many fucking midgets to bring the national height average down that far.
Enjoy the blog. Read more!
I saw this a while ago and thought i would post about it because looking at it again, it is uncanny how the whole comic strip changes.
The hypothesis is that if you remove all the text of Garfield's speech, that the comic becomes oddly surrealist and in my opinion extremely more enjoyable. Here are a few examples from Truth and Beauty Bombs
Oh my god, the last one breaks my heart. Jon is so sad. Garfield's quips and cracks in the orignal/unedited cartoon only distract you from the real heart of the story; that Jon is just a loser whose only friend in the world is a fat, unaffectionate cat.
God, Jim Davis. Has any one reached out to you? Call me if you need to talk. Read more!
Welcome to this week's installment of "Making Friends", where we highlight our newest friends in the DCC4N fold.
Today i would like to introduce you to GWU's ReceSs, the oldest college comedy troupe in DC (established 1991). Recently they picked four new members and they are: Emily Murphy, Jen Gilmour, Corin Michalski and Kabeer Parwani.
In addition, their favorite alumni, TJ Miller, is gearing up for the release of ABC's carpoolers for which this was said about him: "Jerry O'Connell (the poor man's Steve Guttenberg) is among the stars, but the show is stolen by potential comic discovery T.J. Miller as an overgrown mama's boy who lives at home, fears employment and spends the day watching reruns in his underpants" -Washington Post. Link from The Apiary.
Also, to celebrate for all this amazing news, they have released a new video Our Constitutional Values: Option C
I don't care what anyone says about highschool and college comedy. When i was at George Mason we produced comedy of the highest standards. Just ask Nick. He co-wrote "Frenchies Chasing Geese." Plus, when you have long lasting institutions like GWU's ReceSs and UMD's Erasable, Inc. you are bound to start seeing familiar faces from these troupes on your T.V. screens. It is just good business, like "Frenchies Chasing Geese." Read more!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
So the DC Comedy Fest seems to be finally embracing it's political comedy roots. Well maybe not it's roots exactly, but the fact that it is housed in the most political city in America. Below is from the front page of the DC Comedy Fest website:
Submissions will open for dccomedyfest 2008 in NOVEMBER! Check back here for exact dates and other details.
As always we will feature the best cutting-edge comedy from around the world, headliners with special shows developed just for us, and auditions for national television shows for comedians on the brink to get their big break and much more!
Also, while dccomedyfest has always had more than it's fair share of political humor and comedy targeted at social and cultural comedy. In 2008, in honor of election year - we're going to have a venue exclusively for Political Comedy.
What does this mean for you, Mr. average comedian that talks about every topic under the sun? Will there still be room? Last year, there was basically a a sketch venue (Warehouse), an improv venue (Flashpoint), and a standup venue (HR-57). If one whole venue will be used exclusively for political comedy it seems that many of us will be forced to watch from the sidelines.
Does anyone have an opinion on this change? Or even better, anyone have more information as to exactly what will change? Let's do this DC!
Saturday, September 22, 2007
I just got off the phone with my dad, and goddamn it if I am constantly amazed that I am cut from the same stock as that man. Don't get me wrong, I love my father but it's mind boggling how being "born again" and blindly supporting George W. Bush can make someone a complete asshole to talk to on the phone. My dad and I speak once every two weeks just about and for the most part we agree to not talk about certain topics. Those topics being: religion, politics, and money. This has been the case ever since I was young. From a very early age I learned that if you didn't want to see Dad embarrass you in a public setting steer clear of all of those topics. He once yelled at me and my sister in a sushi restaurant because we spoke against George W. Bush's decision to invade Iraq. "You ungrateful little son of a bitches. You enjoy the freedom that this country provides you, but you don't want to fight for it....". Blah, blah, blah. Then he said something about how he was responsible for our "freedom" and that's when I reminded him that he was in the Air Force Reserves and never saw action. He got so mad that he left the table and sat in the car until we finished our meal.
The only way to have a pleasant conversation with my father is to completely agree with him. His Right Wing, Jesus Lovin' mind won't let him compromise or see anyone else's point of view. He never backs down. If anyone of the "No-No Topics" of conversation pops up you should just immediately say, "Yep, the blacks are lazy and the Jews are plotting to take your money, all brown people are terrorists, and I pray every night that George W. can rewrite the Constitution in time and serve a 3rd Term...that'd be great, and a clear sign that Jesus Love Us All!!!" Because that is where is mind is coming from.
So, my Dad and I are just having a little chat; shooting the breeze. He asks me about comedy and how it's going. I tell him that the DC scene blows and open mic stage time is scarce, but paid work is picking up somewhat. I start informing him that I think San Francisco is going to be the place that I move to next. He responds with, "Why do you want to move out there with all them gays? You should move to Atlanta and do comedy. But, there are a lot of blacks." (I often get the feeling that I'm fucked for life just from the DNA I have) I tell him that, "yes Atlanta does have a lot of black people, but that's not the reason why I'm not moving there." The next thing he said is where I knew we were gonna be getting into a fight.
"I can't believe what's going on down there in Louisiana. It's a fuckin' shame." And I know right away that he isn't on the side of the Jena 6. He's literally upset that there is a march going on down there and thinks those 6 black kids should get what's coming to them. His exact words were, "I don't know why they're marching. They have no business being down there. They should let the the government take care of it and do their job. The people in that town have every right to shut down and let those protesters know that they're not welcome." WOW!!!! I ended the conversation right away before I lost anymore respect for my father.
My point behind this blog is that it's amazing how people who are "born again" Christians are quite often Republican. Because the political views that make up the Republican party do not measure up to the teachings of Christ. Would Jesus fuck over the poor and leave them to starve? Even if those people were drug addicts, with 35 children on welfare...would Jesus turn his back on them? No, Jesus would invite them into his home, cook them a meal, put clean clothes on their back, give their kids some toys, and find them a job so they could support their family. You might say he's teaching them to fish for a LIFE. My dad always attacks me and says, "Why don't you do that if you care so much about the poor?" And I say, "Dad, I don't believe in Jesus, so I don't have to follow his fucking make believe teachings...YOU DO!" Would Jesus NEVER admit he's wrong? I fucking love the ignorant right-wing bible-thumpers who PREACH the gospel and totally miss the message of Christ's teachings. How does anyone miss the horrible mistreatment of those 6 kids in Louisiana? And to call yourself a Christian and speak against what's going on down there is fucking horrible. I grew up in the South and I know the mentality that breathes underneath social norms and the political correctness that has been adopted in society. It's disgusting and I know that people whisper their approval.
HEY THAT WAS A FUNNY COMEDY BLOG!!! It had racial stereotypes, christian slamming, social issues, and the uplifting chuckle fest that is my failing relationship with my ignorant dad. Tune in next week when I take on SUDDEN INFANT DEATH SYNDROM & TEENAGE MOMS!
Jay Read more!
Friday, September 21, 2007
Yeah, get used to it. WIT will have shows Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights until October 20th. And until October 21st, I will continue to bug you.
Tonight, Jackie performs again. This time with Baltimore Improv Group's show "Ice Cream Social". I still don't know if actual ice cream is involved, but would you miss the chance to find out?
Then the second show begins at 9:30pm tonight with Season Six and Caveat. Look at how beautiful those people are. See them live and confirm your belief that they, yes, were cut from cloth made from God's own toga. God wears a toga right?
Both shows are at the Flashpoint Theater in Chinatown.
916 G Street NW
Washington DC 20004
www.washingtonimprovtheater.com Read more!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
I'm gonna let y'all in on a little secret. Stand-up comedy is hard. Stand-up comedy is 99 percent rejection. So any sort of minuscule success is bound to give you some sort of ego. I've said it before and I'll say it again that stand-up comedians are all walking a tightrope between incredibly large egos and staggeringly low self-esteem. That said, I reached a certain level of success in New York to where i haven't had to do an open mic in about two years because I got booked regularly in enough rooms.
Well that don't mean shit in a new city where no one knows who the hell you are and just assume you are going to walk the audience, the other comics, the host and probably the bartenders with your terrible brand of hacomedy. I just made up the word "hacomedy."
Therefore, I went to an open mic last night with my tail between my legs looking for some stage time. I figured getting there an hour early would suffice. It apparently did not. So after doing exclusively booked shows for two years in the greatest city in the world, I can't even do a fucking open-mic in DC! My friends, I realize that I shouldn't have an ego because in the big picture I haven't really accomplished much. But I can't do a fucking show where the only criteria is that you have to SHOW THE FUCK UP?!
:( I'M POUTY!!!! Read more!
The Bomb Shelter at 18th & Red is the home of the best local DC comics. And it is offical. The best place for FREE comedy on Thursday nights on 18th Street. Seriously, there was a ballot. You didn't get one........eh....
Anyways, they've got great drink specials with:
Thursday Nights at 9pm
18th and Red
2436 18th St. NW, Washington, DC 20009
My improv troupe (see most awesome picture above), Jackie, is perform tonight at the Flashpoint Theater in Chinatown. This marks the beginning of the second weekend of shows for the WIT Fall Run and if last weekend was any indication of how things are taking off, be sure not to miss this weeks gland pack funny. Does that make any sense?
Tonight we perform with Exes and Oh's. Check the review i wrote about them a few days ago and then take my advice and see them. Then see us. Then go grab a drink with the cast.
916 G Street NW
$10 @ door
www.washingtontimptovtheater.com Read more!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
When Nick was telling me about this the other night I didn't believe him. I couldn't believe that Dane Cook would rise to such levels of prickness. Feast your ears, ladies and gentleman (compliments Bestweekever.tv)
Bestweekever.tv couldn't help but listen to the newest Dane Cook single, "Forward". We loved it so much we made a video for it.
This is got to be a joke right? I mean what self respecting comedian would ever put out this piece of emo-trash with a straight face?
"Everything in it's space. I am the only thing that doesn't fit in this place." WTF!!!! So, it would be incredibly awesome if it were a joke. But, i know for sure it is not because I have known what Dane Cook is really after ever since I first heard him. FAME. At any cost.
Now, first of all Dane Cook can be fun. His album, Retaliation, is really good. But after hearing him for a while you realize he is a one trick pony. "I'm crazy Dane!" is fun for a while. Any comedian who visits this page will tend to agree with me that Dane's material isn't that deep. But so what, right?
What gets me is his whole DOUCHE BAG look. Seriously, straight from http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/. The gelled hair cut, the tight ripped jeans, the whole nine yards. The way he talks about "how he loves head." It just reeks. So he sells out faster than one of Jay's drunk dates and does a movie with Jessica Simpson about fuckin' what.....a girl that only bangs the Employee of the Month? Wow, class. And the new one, Good Luck Chuck looks equally shittastic. Make the prettiest girl in the world slip on a banana peel. What the hell?!
Okay so it is clear to me that Dane Cook is just throwing turds against the wall and seeing what sticks. "What, my comedy is contrived and unoriginal? Okay, okay...I will see how I do in contrived and unoriginal romantic comedies. What? no one is seeing this? DAMN! Come on Dane you still need to get pussy! Anyway you can! Think, how can I get pussy still? AH HA! Write a contrived unoriginal love ballad! Dane, you genius!" Read more!
Because of my aforementioned thumb cast (don't worry about how it happened - NOBODY TALKS BACK TO "THE KID!" - I call myself The Kid now - Please call me The Kid! It'll be sooo cool!) it is very difficult to write down jokes. I think of jokes all the time, because I am a comic genius, but it is physically difficult for me to hold a pen so I have to just store it in my brain. Even that is almost impossible because, as you know, 99 percent of my brain meat is used up by my legendarily huge Spank Bank. It reminds me of one of my favorite Mitch Hedberg quotes that I will share with you right now:
"I sit at my hotel at night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny."
That's how I feel. So scan down and look at my picture from the last post and commit it to your own spank bank. Then masturbate while thinking of me. Then tell me how it was in the comments. I love you DC. Read more!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
I have been given possibly the most positive cast anyone could ever hope for. Who can feel down in the dumps when all you have to do look down and see the permanent thumbs up that God has given me as a result of the horribly painful hand surgery he also gave me. Just read this transcript of an actual conversation that occurred between me and my priest last week:
"Hey Nick, I've been feeling down lately and have been contemplating suicide. Do you think I should do it? Thumbs up? It is done."
God works in mysterious ways, my friends. Read more!
Yeah, ya know autumn is like my favorite freaking season right? Seriously, the weather is awesome and a welcome change to how hot it was all summer here in DC. WHOOHOO! So psyched about football, Halloween, my birthday and……..(settle down)……Autumn also marks the beginning of Washington Improv Theater’s Fall Run of Shows: Up and Autumn! HAHAHA see what they did there?? Yikes…Anyways, bad puns and my over reaction to Fall aside I had two shows with Jackie last week, including one on Saturday night for the Opening Reception
I also had the chance to see Exes and Ohs, Justin Purvis and Natasha Rothwell’s awesome two person show about relationships. Not only do they both kick ass on stage, the show has a pretty cool structure that I like alot. They establish characters at the top, getting great personal suggestions from the audience about their past lovers annoying characteristics. Then both of them take on several characters at a time using those suggestions and then interact with each other in a way that naturally heightens the story. The show Thursday night had the two lovers struggling to decide whether or not to look past their obvious flaws and stay together. Justin’s “smelly” boyfriend character was especially funny. Plus, there was “face raping” and I quote Natasha on that.
Check out Exes and Ohs this Thursday and next @ Flashpoint Theater.
So anyways, Saturday night had Jackie, Caveat and One-Sixty-One performing for our “Opening Night”. Jackie’s show was a lot of funny fun funny, with my personal favorites being the thought bubbles that came from people’s heads as they got distracted in various scenes. I am digging what we are doing now with our new show. We have incorporated “Ghost Edits” where one person begins a scene having a conversation with a “ghost”. A few lines later another person comes out to take the “ghost's” place. The best of these scenes are when we surprise each other. Example being when I was starting a scene as a stoned guy in a dorm telling someone that I wasn’t going to class, Joe later entered and took the role of my father. Nothing more was needed; just the reveal that my father was in the dorm with me. Those types of surprises are great for us.
Caveat is now down to four people after the departure of Anne and Cissy, but I feel that the four guys (Justin, Dan H., Joe and Dan) are really starting to gel great together. I was talking to them about it after the show and I have to say I am a big fan of 3-4 improv groups. I believe it helps the chemistry build quicker among the cast members, but more importantly I think it engages each cast member into the show more by having them be more involved in each scene. It doesn’t give a person a chance to rest, so the energy is always up. I know some groups that try to keep a 6-8 person minimum in case of absences, but I really feel that when a group is always incorporating new people it tends to keep the core group from clicking as best they can. Get 3-4 people who really love performing with each other and you have a kick ass show. Caveat is a testament to that.
One-Sixty-One had a great show as well and it was a smaller cast situation, too. I am telling you. There is something to be said about it. A lot of the shows this run have smaller casts (Exs and Ohs, Shrimp on a Barbie, Your Phone Company, Etc.) and they are making me laugh a bunch.
Then after show we had a reception Except for the Keg Stand Gone Wrong that I, stupidly was a part of everything went smooth and it was alot of fun. I shouldn’t come within 10 feet of someone who is upside down drinking beer. Lesson learned.
So come see Jackie this Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights! And be sure to check out the other great shows that WIT is putting up this month.
http://www.washingtonimprovtheater.com Read more!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
that my shirt has pleats....in the SHOULDER!!
I am such a homo. Read more!
The Bomb Shelter at 18th & Red is the home of the best local DC comics. Every week draws bigger and better crowds so don't miss out. We hope to see you guys at the show!
We've got great drink specials with:
Thursday Nights at 9pm
18th and Red
2436 18th St. NW, Washington, DC 20009
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I have met both these ladies and they are great. Two DC girls that have moved to LA. FUNNY and cool. Check them out. please on the links tab! Read more!
Monday, September 10, 2007
Thursday night was the usual great local showcase The Bomb Shelter at 18th & Red. This weeks attendance was a little low due to the opening of the NFL regular season. Oh well, you can't win them all. But the show was really good and the people who came out to the show were fantastic; except for the 8 douchebag motherfuckers who stumbled in to take shots with the door guy with about 10 mins left in the show. I really hate people that look like the people I grew up with (Southern Republican type look).
Daniel Tosh was at the Improv this weekend and every show was a sell out. Local comic Tim Miller hosted almost all the shows. He had some car trouble on Friday, and I got to fill in for him on the first show. Thanks Tim for not checking your oil! The feature act was Andi Smith, and she is funny. And more than being funny she was a real comic who loved stand-up. She called a hack a hack and would talk some shit with me. That's a great pereson. I love meeting comics who love stand-up and will talk shop all night. But more importantly express their opinions and not sugar coat something. It's so fucking boring to talk to comics who don't want to hurt someones feelings because every conversation is "Well, he's alright, or she's pretty good, or I like that one joke they have." No you don't. If you think that they're comedy sucks, say it. I like that in a comic. It's something you don't see much around DC.
Daniel was a great to watch as well. I'd say it was about 85% new material so I was entertained. Do youreself a favor and find his one joke about To Catch a Predator. Hands down my favorite one of the week. Also, I owe him a huge Hot Cock. He doesn't Hot Cock he's a grabber and that hurts.
This weeks Bomb Shelter is going to be great. Rob Maher, Jared Stern, Kojo Mante, Bryson Turner, and Mike Way. John McBride or myself will host it but we'll all be there. It's gonna be Super Duper Fun Balls.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Whenever I tell someone I am comedian, they eventually ask me to tell them a joke. God, i hate this.
But, then i discovered the perfect way to quelch this while travel this week.
When someone asks me to tell them a joke, I tell them this one.
"What is black, blue and hates sex?"
"The girl in my trunk."
Shuts them right up. Read more!